To watch in HD, get ClipCafe PRO
Tulane University had their primate testing facility center in town
Please log in to add to collections.
Theo Von: No Offense

Tulane University had theirprimate testing facility center in town, and in 1994, 70...

Tulane University had their
primate testing facility center in town, and in 1994, 70 infected monkeys got out, and they let us out of YMCA summer camp
to help the police look for them

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.671
Tulane University had their primate testing facility center in town,
00:00:04.755 --> 00:00:07.257
and in 1994, 70 infected monkeys got out,
00:00:07.034 --> 00:00:11.136
and they let us out of YMCA summer camp to help the police look for them.
Duration
12 seconds
Views
25
Timestamp in Movie
00:30:41
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

Want This Clip in HD?

Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →

Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
So what the fuck have you done with your life? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
So what the fuck have you done with your life?
Until you and 11 kids you barely know in wet bathing suits - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
Until you and 11 kids you barely know in wet bathing suits
But that's not the gay part of the story, is it, conclusion-jumpers? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
But that's not the gay part of the story, is it, conclu...
She looked like a boy because they only had one haircut in our town - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
She looked like a boy because they only had one haircut in o...
On the third Thursday of the month, he would park the bus on the way home. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
On the third Thursday of the month, he would park the bus on...
He only knew one hairstyle. It was kind of like this Polish lesbian cut. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
He only knew one hairstyle. It was kind of like this Polish ...
Anyway, that month me and my girl had a bit of spending cash - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
Anyway, that month me and my girl had a bit of spending cash
Now, the movie that had come to town was called Pumpkinhead. A scary movie. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Now, the movie that had come to town was called Pumpkinhead....
There's an older boy sitting next to me. He was 16 years old. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
There's an older boy sitting next to me. He was 16 year...
During the film, he got himself a hand job from his girlfriend, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
During the film, he got himself a hand job from his girlfrie...
And I only had 11 years worth of arm at the time, so it looked like more then. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
And I only had 11 years worth of arm at the time, so it look...
And I was like, "Holy shit, man. They got me," you know? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
And I was like, "Holy shit, man. They got me," you...
"I'm gay." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
"I'm gay."
For three months, I thought I was a young homosexual. You know? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
For three months, I thought I was a young homosexual. You kn...
And I broke up with my girlfriend. I started jogging. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
And I broke up with my girlfriend. I started jogging.
And then I'm sitting there at Christmas, I'm crying and wearing all these scarves. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
And then I'm sitting there at Christmas, I'm cryin...
Mom's pissed you're wearing all her scarves." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
Mom's pissed you're wearing all her scarves."
We're just trying to live our lives." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:11
We're just trying to live our lives."
Where were you?" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:12
Where were you?"
But here's the wild part of that story. Here's where the Lord really steps in. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
But here's the wild part of that story. Here's whe...