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Usually, you would just open the other door
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Theo Von: No Offense

Usually, you would justopen the other door, but for some reason,I just keep pulling on...

Usually, you would just
open the other door, but for some reason,
I just keep pulling on this locked door like it's gonna start up
and I'm-a mow the yard with it, right?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.336
Usually, you would just open the other door,
00:00:03.419 --> 00:00:06.588
but for some reason, I just keep pulling on this locked door
00:00:06.672 --> 00:00:10.259
like it's gonna start up and I'm-a mow the yard with it, right?
Duration
11 seconds
Views
15
Timestamp in Movie
00:37:36
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
And Brad Pitt is standing right here. The only one that God has. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And Brad Pitt is standing right here. The only one that God ...
And you can feel him when he's standing somewhere - Theo Von: No Offense 00:11
And you can feel him when he's standing somewhere
So, I'm pulling on this door and he goes, "You got it, man?" - Theo Von: No Offense 00:10
So, I'm pulling on this door and he goes, "You got...
If you ever looked right at him up close, it's like staring directly into the sun, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:10
If you ever looked right at him up close, it's like sta...
I look back at him like this and I say, "I got it, man." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
I look back at him like this and I say, "I got it, man....
[stuttering] - Theo Von: No Offense 00:24
[stuttering]
I gotta open door number two, but I don't want this interaction to end. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I gotta open door number two, but I don't want this int...
We might hug, we might fuck a little. This is Hollywood, son. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
We might hug, we might fuck a little. This is Hollywood, son...
This is my chance with Brad-frikkin'-Pitt, you animals. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
This is my chance with Brad-frikkin'-Pitt, you animals.
Naturally, I could just open that door, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
Naturally, I could just open that door,
Or I could open the door for him, let him walk by and just live my own life. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
Or I could open the door for him, let him walk by and just l...
As it swings open, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
As it swings open,
Like, a way that people don't open doors. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Like, a way that people don't open doors.
He looks at me like, "That ain't how people open doors." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:11
He looks at me like, "That ain't how people open d...
"Ha-ha." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
"Ha-ha."
"Ha-ha." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:10
"Ha-ha."
You don't even hear it at first. You just feel the laughter on your skin. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
You don't even hear it at first. You just feel the laug...
When you finally hear his laugh, I mean, it just... - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
When you finally hear his laugh, I mean, it just...
It sounds like a million babies eating cookies at the same time. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
It sounds like a million babies eating cookies at the same t...
Right when I heard his laugh, crop circles formed in my hair. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
Right when I heard his laugh, crop circles formed in my hair...