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We keep slipping off the turtleneck, we need to take the nuts
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Theo Von: No Offense

We keep slipping off the turtleneck,we need to take the nuts

We keep slipping off the turtleneck,
we need to take the nuts

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.711
We keep slipping off the turtleneck, we need to take the nuts.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
19
Timestamp in Movie
01:02:24
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Known for always saying the unexpected and telling it like it is, even at the expense of offending, Louisiana comedian Theo Von returns home to film his first stand-up comedy special for Netflix at the Civic Theater in New Orleans.
"Congratulations, ladies and gentlemen, it's a wonderful day. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
"Congratulations, ladies and gentlemen, it's a won...
Men, you can pick your tassels up - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
Men, you can pick your tassels up
Some of you ladies need to quit having eight kids - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Some of you ladies need to quit having eight kids
You ain't a woman, you a wizard." - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
You ain't a woman, you a wizard."
Sick of this bullshit in this country, man. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Sick of this bullshit in this country, man.
If you're over the age of 30 and you still skateboard, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
If you're over the age of 30 and you still skateboard,
If you wear camouflage but you ain't in the woods or in the military, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
If you wear camouflage but you ain't in the woods or in...
Operation Desert Dumb Ass. Now put on an acceptable pattern, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
Operation Desert Dumb Ass. Now put on an acceptable pattern,
If you wear sunglasses while you work out at the gym, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:08
If you wear sunglasses while you work out at the gym,
You look like a blind person that's good at shit. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
You look like a blind person that's good at shit.
Only two men ever looked good in sweat and sunglasses, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
Only two men ever looked good in sweat and sunglasses,
So why don't you snap into a slim piece of advice and get the fuck out? - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
So why don't you snap into a slim piece of advice and g...
If you sleep with the TV on, - Theo Von: No Offense 00:07
If you sleep with the TV on,
I don't know, probably because you sleep with the TV on! - Theo Von: No Offense 00:05
I don't know, probably because you sleep with the TV on...
Asian people who are driving, no more driving. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Asian people who are driving, no more driving.
I know it's cliché, but the trial period has to be over, man. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
I know it's cliché, but the trial period has to be over...
I don't Cirque du Soleil 'cause I can't Cirque du Soleil. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
I don't Cirque du Soleil 'cause I can't Cirqu...
So park it, Asians, and invent the hoverboard I know you know how to make - Theo Von: No Offense 00:09
So park it, Asians, and invent the hoverboard I know you kno...
Thick people that's hoggin' all the wheelchairs at the airport. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
Thick people that's hoggin' all the wheelchairs at...
And I ain't sayin' it's sistas, but I ain't sayin' it ain't. - Theo Von: No Offense 00:06
And I ain't sayin' it's sistas, but I ain...