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Larry:
[teaching a creative-writing class]
This is a real classic by Mr. Pinsky. It's entitled "One Hundred Girls I'd Like to Pork." Male Student #1:
"Pork"? Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
It's a coffee-table book. Larry:
"One Hundred Girls I'd Like To..." Hmmm. Chapter One: Kathleen Turner. Chapter Two: Cybill Shepherd. Chapter Three: Suzanne Pleshette. Chapter Four: The Girl in the Taco Commercial. Chapter Five: The Woman in 4B. Chapter Six: The Oriental Laker Girl. Chapter Seven... Mr. Pinsky, this is not literature! Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
Well, you know, I would put in photographs, a brief character sketch, like a biography, and a nice dust jacket. Larry:
Mr. Pinsky, what is this? Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
It's literature. It's a fantasy. My fantasy. Like Melville, this is my great white whale. Mrs. Hazeltine:
It's whacking material. Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
Isn't that literature? Larry:
Mr. Pinsky, how do you associate "Moby Dick" to a list of women you'd like to have sex with? Male Student #2:
Well, I think it's very brave. Mrs. Hazeltine:
I think he's vulgar. Male Student #3:
That's what they said about Twain. Mrs. Hazeltine:
That's what I'm saying about him. Male Student #3:
I think you're vulgar. Mrs. Hazeltine:
I think you're a no-talent little shit. Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
Maybe I should change the title. Male Student #2:
I like the title! Larry:
[bell rings]
OK, I'll see you Wednesday, class. Good work today. Remember, a writer writes, always. [as the students prepare to leave, voices are heard saying "Pinsky, I could do the photographs" and "Hey Pinsky, what about Vanna White?"]
[teaching a creative-writing class]
This is a real classic by Mr. Pinsky. It's entitled "One Hundred Girls I'd Like to Pork." Male Student #1:
"Pork"? Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
It's a coffee-table book. Larry:
"One Hundred Girls I'd Like To..." Hmmm. Chapter One: Kathleen Turner. Chapter Two: Cybill Shepherd. Chapter Three: Suzanne Pleshette. Chapter Four: The Girl in the Taco Commercial. Chapter Five: The Woman in 4B. Chapter Six: The Oriental Laker Girl. Chapter Seven... Mr. Pinsky, this is not literature! Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
Well, you know, I would put in photographs, a brief character sketch, like a biography, and a nice dust jacket. Larry:
Mr. Pinsky, what is this? Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
It's literature. It's a fantasy. My fantasy. Like Melville, this is my great white whale. Mrs. Hazeltine:
It's whacking material. Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
Isn't that literature? Larry:
Mr. Pinsky, how do you associate "Moby Dick" to a list of women you'd like to have sex with? Male Student #2:
Well, I think it's very brave. Mrs. Hazeltine:
I think he's vulgar. Male Student #3:
That's what they said about Twain. Mrs. Hazeltine:
That's what I'm saying about him. Male Student #3:
I think you're vulgar. Mrs. Hazeltine:
I think you're a no-talent little shit. Mr. Pinsky, Creative Writing Student:
Maybe I should change the title. Male Student #2:
I like the title! Larry:
[bell rings]
OK, I'll see you Wednesday, class. Good work today. Remember, a writer writes, always. [as the students prepare to leave, voices are heard saying "Pinsky, I could do the photographs" and "Hey Pinsky, what about Vanna White?"]
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.336
This is a great ending
00:00:03.502 --> 00:00:07.048
I don't have the beginning but this is a great ending
00:00:07.214 --> 00:00:10.926
Story of my life I always have great endings and no beginnings
00:00:11.093 --> 00:00:13.638
That's not good for a writer is it
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Movie Summary
A bitter ex-husband wants his former spouse dead. A put-upon momma's boy wants his mother dead. Who will pull it off?

