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Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Tim Dillon rants about fast food, living in Texas, Disney adults and the reason no one should be called a hero.

Director

Ben Avery

Year

Genre

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N/A

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N/A

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The news was like,
"Covid's a holocaust of fat people." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

The news was like, "Covid's a holocaust of fat peo...

Everybody in LA
that was fat and had money, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Everybody in LA that was fat and had money,

"Let's go." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

I got it after I was vaccinated - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

I got it after I was vaccinated

-[chuckles]
-[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

-[chuckles] -[audience laughs]

[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs]

[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs]

So it wasn't really a nurse,
it was, like, a QAnon retard… - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

So it wasn't really a nurse, it was, like, a QAnon reta...

She walked in. She's like,
"Honey, all you can do is pray." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

She walked in. She's like, "Honey, all you can do ...

That was never better evidenced - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

That was never better evidenced

In New York and LA,
if you were like, "Hey, I'm fully vaxxed," - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

In New York and LA, if you were like, "Hey, I'm fu...

He looked at me, he was like, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

He looked at me, he was like,

And… [laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

And… [laughs]

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

But all nurses can't be heroes. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

But all nurses can't be heroes.

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs]

No, in fact, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Teacher, firefighter, cop. No more heroes. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Teacher, firefighter, cop. No more heroes.

If somebody saves your life tonight, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

If somebody saves your life tonight,

"Yeah. You like that?" - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

"Yeah. You like that?"

Five minutes later,
they're TikToking with dead bodies. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Five minutes later, they're TikToking with dead bodies.

I didn't need you on Facebook Live
every five minutes, crying. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

I didn't need you on Facebook Live every five minutes, ...

[sobbing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

She's gonna start saying nice things
about the trans community? - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

She's gonna start saying nice things about the trans co...

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

"Grandma, welcome back." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

"Grandma, welcome back."

I knew it was real. My mother
was in a nursing home in New York. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

I knew it was real. My mother was in a nursing home in New Y...

And we were terrified - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

And we were terrified

[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs]

I was calling the doctor myself,
going, "Choke the bitch out." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

I was calling the doctor myself, going, "Choke the bitc...

[audience chuckles] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience chuckles]

She's just sitting in her bed
with a Trump hat on, trolling. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

She's just sitting in her bed with a Trump hat on, trol...

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

[audience chuckling] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience chuckling]

Then he made a woman uncomfortable
at a Christmas party, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Then he made a woman uncomfortable at a Christmas party,

"Now you go." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs]

Last year, Hillary Clinton had a podcast. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Last year, Hillary Clinton had a podcast.

[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs]

[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs]

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

Yeah. What a miscalculation on her part. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Yeah. What a miscalculation on her part.

[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs]

Everybody was just glued every day, like… - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Everybody was just glued every day, like…

Things are burning down. They're like,
"The level of peace that I feel." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Things are burning down. They're like, "The level ...

Cops were doing fucked-up shit
and it was all on camera. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Cops were doing fucked-up shit and it was all on camera.

And I have to say that
because I look like a cop, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

And I have to say that because I look like a cop,

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

"Hey, what's going on?" - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

"Hey, what's going on?"

Everyone I know
and everyone you know. Let's be honest. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Everyone I know and everyone you know. Let's be honest.

[scattered applause] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[scattered applause]

I'm like, "Remember John
with the black hair?" - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

I'm like, "Remember John with the black hair?"...

[audience chuckling] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience chuckling]

Everything's about
what the kids are learning. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Everything's about what the kids are learning.

"What are they learning, the kids?
What are they teaching children?" - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

"What are they learning, the kids? What are they teachi...

They could not have given a fuck less
about what I learned ever. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

They could not have given a fuck less about what I learned e...

My father walked me to the bus stop
on my first day of school. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

My father walked me to the bus stop on my first day of schoo...

I said, "What school am I going to?"
He goes, "I don't know, son. Uh…" - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

I said, "What school am I going to?" He goes, &quo...

Now these parents are stampeding fucking… - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Now these parents are stampeding fucking…

Are they teaching two-year-olds
about gender theory? Maybe. I don't know. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Are they teaching two-year-olds about gender theory? Maybe. ...

There's always one school
that they find in, like, San Francisco. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

There's always one school that they find in, like, San ...

[audience chuckles] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience chuckles]

And you go, "That is a bit much." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

And you go, "That is a bit much."

Florida's got a new bill.
People call it the "Don't Say Gay" bill. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Florida's got a new bill. People call it the "Don&...

One of the provisions in this bill,
that they dropped, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

One of the provisions in this bill, that they dropped,

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

"Hey, Mrs. Miller." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

"Hey, Mrs. Miller."

It also makes teachers look horrible,
you know? - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

It also makes teachers look horrible, you know?

"I watched your son jerk off
with his friend. I think they're gay." - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

"I watched your son jerk off with his friend. I think t...

They take mental-health breaks. They do. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

They take mental-health breaks. They do.

They go, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

-[chuckles]
-[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

-[chuckles] -[audience laughs]

You have never sat next
to an in-shape, ripped, hot athlete - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

You have never sat next to an in-shape, ripped, hot athlete

[audience chuckling] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience chuckling]

I-I-I-I sold it. I let the community down. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

I-I-I-I sold it. I let the community down.

You remember the big push
with GameStop and AMC? - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

You remember the big push with GameStop and AMC?

[audience laughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughs]

My mother used to buy me and my father
single shares of stock for Christmas. - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

My mother used to buy me and my father single shares of stoc...

She'd give us, like,
a share of ExxonMobil - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

She'd give us, like, a share of ExxonMobil

Then we'd go to McDonald's,
and she's like, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Then we'd go to McDonald's, and she's like,

He called me. He's like, "What is this?" - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

He called me. He's like, "What is this?"

I know that because Justin Bieber
just paid $1.2 million - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

I know that because Justin Bieber just paid $1.2 million

Every now and then, - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

Every now and then,

[audience laughing] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

[audience laughing]

And there's a guy coming out of the mines,
you know, coughing. [coughs] - Tim Dillon: A Real Hero

And there's a guy coming out of the mines, you know, co...

Tim Dillon: A Real Hero poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Tim Dillon rants about fast food, living in Texas, Disney adults and the reason no one should be called a hero.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Ben Avery

Writer: Tim Dillon

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2022

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.2

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 16 Aug 2022

Awards: N/A

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