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Tom Papa: Human Mule

"Do you haveyour KFC MasterCard?" "What?" "Do you haveyour KFC MasterCard?" "No, I don't...

"Do you have
your KFC MasterCard?" "What?" "Do you have
your KFC MasterCard?" "No, I don't have a chicken
credit card in my wallet "with a picture
of a plantation owner on the side." "Well, I could save you 15%
of your purchase right now if you apply
for a KFC MasterCard." "Yeah, I'm sure
the 25 people behind me "wouldn't mind me
filling out some paperwork and running a credit check
during their lunch half-hour." I don't care about 15% of $8.
I don't care

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.000
"Do you have your KFC MasterCard?"
00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:05.000
"What?"
00:00:07.000 --> 00:00:09.000
"Do you have your KFC MasterCard?"
00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:12.000
"No, I don't have a chicken credit card in my wallet
00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:14.000
"with a picture of a plantation owner
00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:17.000
on the side."
00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:22.000
"Well, I could save you 15% of your purchase right now
00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:24.000
if you apply for a KFC MasterCard."
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:26.000
"Yeah, I'm sure the 25 people behind me
00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:28.000
"wouldn't mind me filling out some paperwork
00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:33.000
and running a credit check during their lunch half-hour."
00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:37.000
I don't care about 15% of $8. I don't care.
Duration
38 seconds
Views
12
Timestamp in Movie
00:27:12
Uploaded
Oct 31, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Tom Papa has become a Human Mule and he’s not afraid to admit it. In this follow up to his 2013 special, Tom is at his fast paced comedic best while relating the everyman struggles of family life, falling behind to the super rich and his hilarious cure for angry young men.
I just want to sit in the parking lot by myself, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:09
I just want to sit in the parking lot by myself,
"But if you don't use the cards, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
"But if you don't use the cards,
Don't you want status?" - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
Don't you want status?"
We're all exactly the same: - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:14
We're all exactly the same:
"There's some special people here - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
"There's some special people here
"We're gonna start off with our diamond-crusted, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:16
"We're gonna start off with our diamond-crusted,
"I have no status at all." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:08
"I have no status at all."
I was traveling a lot last year, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
I was traveling a lot last year,
You realize when you travel with your family, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
You realize when you travel with your family,
[chuckles] - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
[chuckles]
"Does the little one always do that? - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
"Does the little one always do that?
She doesn't look like any of us." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:10
She doesn't look like any of us."
[applause] - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
[applause]
So when they want to go somewhere, I have to plan it, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
So when they want to go somewhere, I have to plan it,
I have to pay for everything, 'cause they have no money - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
I have to pay for everything, 'cause they have no money
But for years, I would have to carry - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
But for years, I would have to carry
They would literally load everything on my back - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:17
They would literally load everything on my back
And sometimes you see a donkey with flies in his eyes - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:11
And sometimes you see a donkey with flies in his eyes
He hopes the fly eats through his eye - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:08
He hopes the fly eats through his eye
The only thing there was a Curious George - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
The only thing there was a Curious George