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Every time you open your phone
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Tom Papa: Human Mule

Every time you open your phone, open your laptop, turn on TV,there they are, just selling...

Every time you open your phone, open your laptop, turn on TV,
there they are, just selling you joy
and perfection, right?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.000
Every time you open your phone,
00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:05.000
open your laptop, turn on TV, there they are,
00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:07.000
just selling you joy and perfection, right?
Duration
8 seconds
Views
15
Timestamp in Movie
00:35:05
Uploaded
Oct 31, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Tom Papa has become a Human Mule and he’s not afraid to admit it. In this follow up to his 2013 special, Tom is at his fast paced comedic best while relating the everyman struggles of family life, falling behind to the super rich and his hilarious cure for angry young men.
Every time you turn it on, the mom and dad - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:08
Every time you turn it on, the mom and dad
"I love you." "No, I love you." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:10
"I love you." "No, I love you."
"Thanks, Mom and Dad, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
"Thanks, Mom and Dad,
We were sweaty and pissed off - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
We were sweaty and pissed off
"If your parents didn't raise you like an animal, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:10
"If your parents didn't raise you like an animal,
And we haven't even parked yet. - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
And we haven't even parked yet.
We're pissed off 'cause we didn't get to park - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
We're pissed off 'cause we didn't get to park
They sent us with that big hand - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
They sent us with that big hand
Everything-- every dollar, every coin, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:11
Everything-- every dollar, every coin,
That mouse rapes you at the turnstile, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:11
That mouse rapes you at the turnstile,
"It's gonna be a great... day, guys. - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
"It's gonna be a great... day, guys.
It's really gonna be a lot of fun." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:11
It's really gonna be a lot of fun."
Old cardboard cutouts, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
Old cardboard cutouts,
I'm Tinker Bell." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:08
I'm Tinker Bell."
I get to the end of that line, there could be naked supermodels - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
I get to the end of that line, there could be naked supermod...
If you go ahead and go--and if you make your own people, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
If you go ahead and go--and if you make your own people,
You want to go once, so you got to blow it out, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
You want to go once, so you got to blow it out,
It's your day." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:08
It's your day."
And they're going to buy a lot of blinking stuff - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
And they're going to buy a lot of blinking stuff
And now they're laying in the gutter of Main Street - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:10
And now they're laying in the gutter of Main Street