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I'm not spending five bucks on an apple
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Tom Papa: Human Mule

I'm not spending five buckson an apple 'cause you thought it wasa good idea to ship it...

I'm not spending five bucks
on an apple 'cause you thought it was
a good idea to ship it from Vermont
by bicycle

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.000
I'm not spending five bucks on an apple
00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:04.000
'cause you thought it was a good idea
00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:07.000
to ship it from Vermont by bicycle.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
11
Timestamp in Movie
00:21:28
Uploaded
Oct 31, 2025
Genres
comedy

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Movie Summary

Tom Papa has become a Human Mule and he’s not afraid to admit it. In this follow up to his 2013 special, Tom is at his fast paced comedic best while relating the everyman struggles of family life, falling behind to the super rich and his hilarious cure for angry young men.
'Cause it takes like mulch, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
'Cause it takes like mulch,
Oh, okay." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:08
Oh, okay."
"I want everyone here to know - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
"I want everyone here to know
"I wove my own bags - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:10
"I wove my own bags
"I'm disgusting, and I need more stuff immediately. - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
"I'm disgusting, and I need more stuff immediately...
This is my only weekend out." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
This is my only weekend out."
Trying to throw it in your cart - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
Trying to throw it in your cart
The place is so massive, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
The place is so massive,
It's like a white trash marathon in that place. - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
It's like a white trash marathon in that place.
"Here's a fried baloney ball. You're doing great." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:14
"Here's a fried baloney ball. You're doing gr...
You'll get there by Tuesday if you keep up the pace." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:08
You'll get there by Tuesday if you keep up the pace.&qu...
He was a bleeder." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:10
He was a bleeder."
They literally sell coffins at the door, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:10
They literally sell coffins at the door,
Put all my stuff in there." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:09
Put all my stuff in there."
Look, I don't even blame you - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
Look, I don't even blame you
You go to a store once, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:09
You go to a store once,
That's enough. I'm not dating you, CVS. - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:07
That's enough. I'm not dating you, CVS.
You've got to join us." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
You've got to join us."
Join us." - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:06
Join us."
"I just want to sneak in here, get this ointment, - Tom Papa: Human Mule 00:13
"I just want to sneak in here, get this ointment,