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Tom Segura: Sledgehammer

If you drink, if you smoke, if you inject things into your eyeballs, you never have to...

If you drink, if you smoke, if you inject things into your eyeballs, you never have to worry about strangers

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.071
If you drink, if you smoke,
00:00:02.793 --> 00:00:04.837
if you inject things into your eyeballs,
00:00:04.921 --> 00:00:08.507
you never have to worry about strangers.
Duration
10 seconds
Views
31
Timestamp in Movie
00:46:35
Uploaded
Apr 18, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Tom discusses his "admiration" for Brad Pitt, what it's like to raise two sons, and the lessons he learned from sharing his gummies with his mother at a performance in Phoenix, Arizona, in front of an energizing sold-out audience.
Never push the myth that a stranger might be culpable - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:07
Never push the myth that a stranger might be culpable
People say it, like, "What if a stranger spikes my drink?" - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:12
People say it, like, "What if a stranger spikes my drin...
- [laughter] - Your friends will fuck you the hardest. - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
- [laughter] - Your friends will fuck you the hardest.
[laughter] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
[laughter]
I have a bunch of really cool friends. Um… - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:11
I have a bunch of really cool friends. Um…
I walk into this club - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
I walk into this club
- Now… - [resounding cheers] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:16
- Now… - [resounding cheers]
[laughter] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
[laughter]
And… he sort of looks like if somebody was making a person - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:10
And… he sort of looks like if somebody was making a person
[crowd groans, chuckling] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:14
[crowd groans, chuckling]
I think that's relevant to the story. Now… - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:08
I think that's relevant to the story. Now…
And the first thing he says to me, he goes, "I got you something." - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:38
And the first thing he says to me, he goes, "I got you ...
And he goes, "These are tens." And I go, "Bullshit." - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:12
And he goes, "These are tens." And I go, "Bul...
[laughter] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:17
[laughter]
As it goes down, - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:08
As it goes down,
I go, "How much did I just take?" And he goes, "Ten." - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:10
I go, "How much did I just take?" And he goes, &qu...
When the show's over, - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:09
When the show's over,
[laughter] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:06
[laughter]
I'm like… [imitates pulsing vibration] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:21
I'm like… [imitates pulsing vibration]
I go… [clenched] "Joey, we gotta get the fuck outta here." - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:09
I go… [clenched] "Joey, we gotta get the fuck outta her...