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Tom Segura: Sledgehammer

With their assignment.So I immediately ask him. I go, "What's the fastest anyone'sdone 20...

[laughter] With their assignment.
So I immediately ask him. I go, "What's the fastest anyone's
done 20 ejaculations?" [laughter] He goes, "48 hours." - And I was like…
- [audience groans] "That motherfucker can keep that record.
I don't want anything to do with that." [laughter] - "That's the champ champ right there."
- [laughter] I went home and took another week off

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:01.917
[laughter]
00:00:02.989 --> 00:00:04.712
With their assignment. So I immediately ask him. I go,
00:00:04.795 --> 00:00:07.214
"What's the fastest anyone's done 20 ejaculations?"
00:00:07.297 --> 00:00:08.757
[laughter]
00:00:08.841 --> 00:00:10.003
He goes, "48 hours."
00:00:10.384 --> 00:00:12.302
- And I was like… - [audience groans]
00:00:12.386 --> 00:00:16.515
"That motherfucker can keep that record. I don't want anything to do with that."
00:00:16.598 --> 00:00:17.808
[laughter]
00:00:18.517 --> 00:00:21.687
- "That's the champ champ right there." - [laughter]
00:00:22.354 --> 00:00:25.149
I went home and took another week off.
Duration
26 seconds
Views
74
Timestamp in Movie
00:42:39
Uploaded
Apr 18, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Tom discusses his "admiration" for Brad Pitt, what it's like to raise two sons, and the lessons he learned from sharing his gummies with his mother at a performance in Phoenix, Arizona, in front of an energizing sold-out audience.
I was black and blue. I was sore. Like, "All right." - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:07
I was black and blue. I was sore. Like, "All right.&quo...
I started slowly, you know. I was like… - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:12
I started slowly, you know. I was like…
You know when you run the heat for the first time in the winter? - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:06
You know when you run the heat for the first time in the win...
And you're like, "This smells weird, man." Like… - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:10
And you're like, "This smells weird, man." Li...
And I could not get this one intrusive thought - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:18
And I could not get this one intrusive thought
So now I'm jerking off all scared. Like… - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:22
So now I'm jerking off all scared. Like…
[crowd chuckles] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:32
[crowd chuckles]
You know? I had to eat edibles every day for that achy, weird pain. - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:06
You know? I had to eat edibles every day for that achy, weir...
Yeah. I always feel like I have to confess to people immediately when I tell them, - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:12
Yeah. I always feel like I have to confess to people immedia...
- Some people wanna eat edibles… - [applause] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:10
- Some people wanna eat edibles… - [applause]
[cheering] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
[cheering]
I like five and ten milligrams, - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:37
I like five and ten milligrams,
[cheering fades] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:12
[cheering fades]
[laughter] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:07
[laughter]
[cheering continues] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:07
[cheering continues]
[audience member whistles] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:14
[audience member whistles]
[laughter] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:07
[laughter]
If you drink, if you smoke, - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:10
If you drink, if you smoke,
Never push the myth that a stranger might be culpable - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:07
Never push the myth that a stranger might be culpable
People say it, like, "What if a stranger spikes my drink?" - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:12
People say it, like, "What if a stranger spikes my drin...