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Like, every day Justin's like…
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Tom Segura: Sledgehammer

Like, every day Justin's like… And he was like, "No, I do."And I said, "No, you don't." ...

Like, every day Justin's like… [giggles gleefully] [laughter] [softly] "I'm in love." I go, "That's great. Did you eat her ass?" He's like, "No." I said, "So you don't like her." [laughter] And he was like, "No, I do."
And I said, "No, you don't." [laughter] "If you did, you'd give her
the sweetest kiss of all." - [laughter]
- [scattered applause] - And he goes, "That's where she shits."
- [laughter] - I was like, "Yeah, don't do it then."
- [laughter] Wait a while, you know?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.751
Like, every day Justin's like…
00:00:02.835 --> 00:00:03.919
[giggles gleefully]
00:00:04.001 --> 00:00:05.379
[laughter]
00:00:05.463 --> 00:00:06.714
[softly] "I'm in love."
00:00:07.506 --> 00:00:09.967
I go, "That's great. Did you eat her ass?"
00:00:10.968 --> 00:00:12.072
He's like, "No."
00:00:13.387 --> 00:00:15.999
I said, "So you don't like her."
00:00:15.097 --> 00:00:16.849
[laughter]
00:00:16.932 --> 00:00:20.998
And he was like, "No, I do." And I said, "No, you don't."
00:00:20.102 --> 00:00:21.353
[laughter]
00:00:21.437 --> 00:00:24.273
"If you did, you'd give her the sweetest kiss of all."
00:00:24.356 --> 00:00:26.859
- [laughter] - [scattered applause]
00:00:28.986 --> 00:00:32.865
- And he goes, "That's where she shits." - [laughter]
00:00:33.449 --> 00:00:36.994
- I was like, "Yeah, don't do it then." - [laughter]
00:00:38.537 --> 00:00:39.914
Wait a while, you know?
Duration
41 seconds
Views
61
Timestamp in Movie
00:10:26
Uploaded
Apr 18, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Tom discusses his "admiration" for Brad Pitt, what it's like to raise two sons, and the lessons he learned from sharing his gummies with his mother at a performance in Phoenix, Arizona, in front of an energizing sold-out audience.
Put her in a bath or something. That's what I did with Brad. Now… - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:09
Put her in a bath or something. That's what I did with ...
[applause fades] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:27
[applause fades]
[laughter] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:34
[laughter]
And I understand it's part of life. It happens to everybody. - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
And I understand it's part of life. It happens to every...
And, uh, you know, I… I just… I had never visited somebody sick in the hospital. - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:06
And, uh, you know, I… I just… I had never visited somebody s...
If you've never done it, you get to the hospital - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:41
If you've never done it, you get to the hospital
I'm assuming it's a euphoric feeling that you chase forever and ever. But… - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:13
I'm assuming it's a euphoric feeling that you chas...
[cheering continues] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
[cheering continues]
[cheering continues, fades] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:13
[cheering continues, fades]
We had this great talk. And then he just drops this on me. - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
We had this great talk. And then he just drops this on me.
He goes, "You know what I've never told you?" - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:54
He goes, "You know what I've never told you?"
[laughter] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:20
[laughter]
What really sucks about losing a parent is when you have kids. - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
What really sucks about losing a parent is when you have kid...
'Cause you want your parents to hang out with your kids, you know? - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
'Cause you want your parents to hang out with your kids...
Like, real "he/him" s, if you know what I'm saying. Uh… - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:36
Like, real "he/him" s, if you know what I'm s...
So I get this wildly different experience - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:08
So I get this wildly different experience
And these girls come over to my house. My God. - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
And these girls come over to my house. My God.
What did I do wrong where I didn't get girls? These girls… - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:33
What did I do wrong where I didn't get girls? These gir...
[laughter] - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:05
[laughter]
Every day, the older one's like… [gravelly] "How you doing, Tom?" - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer 00:43
Every day, the older one's like… [gravelly] "How y...