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"Trading Places" quotes

Trading Places poster
A snobbish investor and a wily street con artist find their positions reversed as part of a bet by two callous millionaires.

Director: John Landis
Writer: Timothy Harris, Herschel Weingrod
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 1983
MetaScore: 69/100
ImdbRating: 7.5
BoxOffice: $90,404,800
Released: 08 Jun 1983
Awards: Nominated for 1 Oscar. 3 wins & 5 nominations total

63 Clips

Louis Winthorpe IiiRandolph DukeEzraMortimer DukeBilly Ray ValentinePawnbrokerOpheliaEven Bigger Black GuyColemanBig Black GuyCellmate #2BunnyHarveyStationmasterBaggage Handler #2Baggage Handler #1Official #1President Of ExchangeOfficial #2Heritage Club DoormanOfficer PantuzziOfficer ReynoldsClarence BeeksToddHarryAndrewCorrupt CopWilsonDuke & Duke Receptionist
We want to help you My brother and I run a privately funded programme - Trading Places 00:32 We want to help you My brother and I run a privately funded... Gentlemen Looking good Louis - Trading Places 00:07 Gentlemen Looking good Louis Coleman I've had the most absurd nightmare - Trading Places 00:16 Coleman I've had the most absurd nightmare I mean you beating up on a man you putting a man in the hospital - Trading Places 00:17 I mean you beating up on a man you putting a man in the... You can't just go around and shoot people with a double barreled shotgun - Trading Places 00:26 You can't just go around and shoot people with a double... Ezra right on time - Trading Places 00:24 Ezra right on time Burnt my fingers man - Trading Places 01:11 Burnt my fingers man Your brother's not well We better call an ambulance - Trading Places 00:16 Your brother's not well We better call an ambulance Hey look sit down all right It ain't cool being no jive Turkey - Trading Places 00:08 Hey look sit down all right It ain't cool being no jive... He was wearing my Harvard tie - Trading Places 00:09 He was wearing my Harvard tie By the way food and rent are not the only things here that cost money - Trading Places 00:09 By the way food and rent are not the only things here that... Pay up Mortimer I've won the bet - Trading Places 00:58 Pay up Mortimer I've won the bet Those men wanted to have sex with me - Trading Places 00:04 Those men wanted to have sex with me Yeah what if I can't do it Just be yourself sir - Trading Places 00:11 Yeah what if I can't do it Just be yourself sir The Dukes used us as Guinea pigs - Trading Places 00:31 The Dukes used us as Guinea pigs Right there he look just like the motherf - Trading Places 00:08 Right there he look just like the motherf It was a stone groove my man - Trading Places 00:11 It was a stone groove my man Oh my God the Dukes will corner the entire frozen orange juice market - Trading Places 00:14 Oh my God the Dukes will corner the entire frozen orange... I'll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain - Trading Places 00:04 I'll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain No thanks guys I already had breakfast this morning - Trading Places 01:12 No thanks guys I already had breakfast this morning I wish my bitches would hurry up I ain't got time to be here - Trading Places 00:23 I wish my bitches would hurry up I ain't got time to be... Think big think positive Never show any sign of weakness - Trading Places 00:32 Think big think positive Never show any sign of weakness That's the quart of blood technique Do it a quart of blood drops out of a body - Trading Places 00:06 That's the quart of blood technique Do it a quart of... May I suggest using a night stick officer - Trading Places 00:07 May I suggest using a night stick officer In charge of security Mr Clarence Beeks of Lyndhurst Security - Trading Places 00:07 In charge of security Mr Clarence Beeks of Lyndhurst... Happy New Year - Trading Places 00:35 Happy New Year Get the fuck out - Trading Places 00:04 Get the fuck out Tell me why you think the price of pork bellies is going down - Trading Places 01:02 Tell me why you think the price of pork bellies is going... Hey man I'm sorry about that Perfectly all right it was your vase - Trading Places 00:37 Hey man I'm sorry about that Perfectly all right it was... I'm dressed as a baggage handler - Trading Places 00:11 I'm dressed as a baggage handler Margin call gentlemen - Trading Places 00:56 Margin call gentlemen Hey Bubbles man - Trading Places 00:08 Hey Bubbles man And she stepped on the ball - Trading Places 00:05 And she stepped on the ball Not for me pal - Trading Places 00:14 Not for me pal Monkey monkey I'm a fucking gorilla you clown - Trading Places 00:07 Monkey monkey I'm a fucking gorilla you clown Gentlemen Looking good Louis - Trading Places 00:20 Gentlemen Looking good Louis Randolph Mortimer - Trading Places 00:23 Randolph Mortimer Money isn't everything - Trading Places 00:10 Money isn't everything The only thing I've got going for me is this body this face - Trading Places 00:29 The only thing I've got going for me is this body this... My life savings Try not to lose it - Trading Places 00:38 My life savings Try not to lose it One cellophane bag That's not mine - Trading Places 00:21 One cellophane bag That's not mine Merry new year Happy new year - Trading Places 00:13 Merry new year Happy new year Strip you little shit before I tear you a new asshole - Trading Places 00:05 Strip you little shit before I tear you a new asshole Hey baby what's happening How you doing - Trading Places 00:16 Hey baby what's happening How you doing Oh honestly beeks This is as far as we go - Trading Places 00:34 Oh honestly beeks This is as far as we go That man is a product of a poor environment - Trading Places 00:14 That man is a product of a poor environment This animal's being routed through to New York - Trading Places 00:23 This animal's being routed through to New York Not yet almost - Trading Places 00:18 Not yet almost That's not right How can the price be going down - Trading Places 00:26 That's not right How can the price be going down Give me your hand - Trading Places 00:16 Give me your hand You may sit - Trading Places 00:03 You may sit And a manicure You never done a hard day's work in your life have you - Trading Places 00:08 And a manicure You never done a hard day's work in your... You and your Nobel Prize you idiot - Trading Places 00:13 You and your Nobel Prize you idiot Who is that Open the door man - Trading Places 00:06 Who is that Open the door man This is an outrage I demand an investigation - Trading Places 00:13 This is an outrage I demand an investigation I have no money to give you - Trading Places 00:05 I have no money to give you I told you we shouldn't have committed everything you asshole - Trading Places 00:10 I told you we shouldn't have committed everything you... Wilson where are you going You idiot - Trading Places 00:13 Wilson where are you going You idiot We've had complaints about con men pretending to be blind and crippled - Trading Places 00:37 We've had complaints about con men pretending to be... They're waiting for you in the last office down the hall - Trading Places 00:05 They're waiting for you in the last office down the... Hey man I really don't appreciate this - Trading Places 00:15 Hey man I really don't appreciate this No No I believe I can hang out with you fellas for a little while - Trading Places 00:06 No No I believe I can hang out with you fellas for a little... Beef jerky time - Trading Places 00:11 Beef jerky time

Cast

Coleman - Denholm Elliott
Louis Winthorpe III - Dan Aykroyd
Duke & Duke Employee - Maurice Woods
Duke & Duke Employee - Richard D. Fisher Jr.
Duke & Duke Employee - Jim Gallagher
All Cast