There's a serial burglar we're chasing him for twelve months, a real slickster and he gave...

Doug Rosselli: [telling Alonzo a story in a steakhouse restaurant with Lou, and Stan present] There's a serial burglar we're chasing him for twelve months, a real slickster and he gave up nothing. His sentencing was today so before the hearing he gets a hold of some peanut butter and he packs his ass crack with it, he's standing tall before the judge and he's ready to give a statement, he shoves his hand down his pants and it comes out with a glob of extra chunky Jiff, bailiffs won't come near him. Now he's looking at the judge in the eyes and licks his fingers clean, so the judge says "this poor man is insane, he can't go to prison", orders him to get a psychiatric evaluation and by the time the judge found out it was sandwich spread, the order was already signed and the guy had already been transferred, after six months in the puzzle factory they call him "normal" and let him loose, he'll never do a day in prison. One day I'm going to find this guy on the street and I'm going to kill him.