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There's this Serial burglar and uhchasin' him for 12 monthsA real slickster gave up nothingCaptain's riding my ass the entire timeSentencing was todayLou Judge is femaleThat's right LandersYeah I know

There's a serial burglar we're chasing him for twelve months, a real slickster and he...

Training Day • 2001

Doug Rosselli:
There's a serial burglar we're chasing him for twelve months, a real slickster and he gave up nothing. His sentencing was today so before the hearing he gets a hold of some peanut butter and he packs his ass crack with it, he's standing tall before the judge and he's ready to give a statement, he shoves his hand down his pants and it comes out with a glob of extra chunky Jiff, bailiffs won't come near him. Now he's looking at the judge in the eyes and licks his fingers clean, so the judge says "this poor man is insane, he can't go to prison", orders him to get a psychiatric evaluation and by the time the judge found out it was sandwich spread, the order was already signed and the guy had already been transferred, after six months in the puzzle factory they call him "normal" and let him loose, he'll never do a day in prison. One day I'm going to find this guy on the street and I'm going to kill him

Full Transcript

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There's this Serial burglar and uh

00:00:04.002 --> 00:00:06.067

chasin' him for 12 months

00:00:06.203 --> 00:00:07.839

A real slickster gave up nothing

00:00:07.974 --> 00:00:10.243

Captain's riding my ass the entire time

00:00:10.378 --> 00:00:12.278

Sentencing was today

00:00:12.413 --> 00:00:13.413

Lou Judge is female

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That's right Landers

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Yeah I know landers She's a sharp lady

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No

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Doug So before the hearing

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guy gets hold of some peanut butter

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packs his ass crack with it

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What

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Then he's standing tall before the bench

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and he's waitin' to give his statement

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So he shoves his hand down his pants

00:00:34.264 --> 00:00:37.203

comes out with a gob of extra chunky jif

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Bailiffs won't come near him

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Now he's now he's lookin' the judge right in the eyes

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and licks his fingers clean

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Holy shit

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So the judge says uh

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oh this poor man's insane He can't go to prison

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Orders him to psychiatric

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She fell for it

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Yeah That's because she's so fuckin' smart

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Time she found out it was sandwich spread

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the order was signed the guy's been transferred

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Proceedings closed

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Yeah closed

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That prick will do 6 months in the puzzle factory

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then they'll call him normal and let him loose

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Never ever do a day in prison

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Yeah give him credit though

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Shit he worked the system

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deserves his freedom

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Yeah Think so

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Or not

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I'll tell you what

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I'm gonna find this guy on the street

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And I'm gonna do him

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حسنا هنالك لص متسلسل

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طاردته لأكثر من سنة هو حذق جدا

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الكابتن لا ينفك يسألني

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موعد إصدار الحكم كان اليوم القاضي أنثى

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هذا صحيح لاندرز

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أعرف لاندرز إن ها امرأة ذكي ة

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لا

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لدى الرجل المخد رات

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وقف أمام المنص ة بانتظار الإدلاء بشهادته

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وضع يده في سرواله وأخرج مسد سا

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لم يقترب الحر اس منه

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نظر إلى القاضية مباشرة

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ولعق أصابعه

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تبا

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قالت القاضية

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هذا الرجل مجنون لا يمكنه دخول السجن

00:01:02.729 --> 00:01:05.875

أرسلته لاستشارة طبيب نفسي إنطلت عليها الخدعة

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أجل إن ها ذكي ة جدا

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عندما اكتشفت ذلك كان قد نقل

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وأقفلت الملف ات أجل أقفلت

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سيقضي 6 أشهر في المصح

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وسيطلقون سراحه

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لن يدخل السجن أبدا

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قد روا له ما فعله كان بارعا ويستحق حر يته

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حقا أتعتقد ذلك

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أو لا

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إسمعوا

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سأجد هذا الرجل على الطرقات

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وسأقضي عليه

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Bon c'est un cambrioleur en série

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Un an que je le traque Hyper rusé

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Jamais de trace On me foutait la pression

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Jugement aujourd'hui Avec une juge

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Exact Landers

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Je la connais Pas bête la guêpe

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Avant l'audience

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il se bourre le cul de beurre de cacahuète

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Et il arrive la tête haute au tribunal

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afin de déposer

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puis plonge la main dans son froc et en tire une vraie plâtrée

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Les huissiers restent à distance

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Lui regarde la juge dans les yeux

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et se lèche les doigts

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Alors la juge dit

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On ne peut emprisonner un fou Et l'envoie à l'asile

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Elle a marché

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C'est qu'elle est pas conne

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Elle a pigé trop tard on l'avait déjà transféré

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Affaire classée

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Ouais classée

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Six mois chez les dingos et on le déclare normal on le libère

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Totale impunité

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Oui mais il a bien feinté le système

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ll mérite la liberté

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Tu trouves

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Pas forcément

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Je vais te dire

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je le retrouverai un jour

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et je le buterai

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Ладно ладно ладно

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Есть значит скотный взломщик и

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я за ним год гонялся

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Скользкий тип никак не попадался

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Капитан меня вечно пинками подгонял

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Приговор был сегодня

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Судьёй была женщина

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Точно Ландерс

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Да я знаю Ландерс Хлёсткая женщина

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Нет

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Перед слушанием

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парень взял арахисовое масло

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всунул его себе в жопу

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Чего

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И он стоял перед судьёй

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ожидая своего слова

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Он опустил руку в штаны

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и достал огромный комок жижи

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Приставы к нему и близко не подошли

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Потом он Смотрит в глаза судье

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облизывая пальцы до блеска

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Ахереть

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И судья говорит

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Ох этот бедняга сумасшедший Ему нельзя в тюрьму

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Отправили его в лечебницу

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Она купилась

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Да Ибо просто пиздец умная

00:01:09.993 --> 00:01:11.993

Когда она поняла в чём дело

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приказ был подписан парня уже перевели

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Дело закрыто

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Именно

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Этот мудак проведёт 6 месяцев в психушке

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а потом они назовут его адекватным и отпустят

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И ни дня в тюрьме

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Однако парень молоток

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Он поимел систему

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заслужил свободу

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Да Правда

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Или же нет

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Вот что я скажу

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Я найду этого парня

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и пришью его

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Bien se trata de un ladrón en serie

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12 meses detrás de él pero es un profesional y no dejaba una pista

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Y yo tenía al capitán machacándome

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Hoy era la sentencia El juez era una mujer

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Exacto Landers

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Conozco a Landers Una mujer lista

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No

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Antes de la vista

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el tío se llena el culo de mantequilla de cacahuete

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Luego cuando está allí todo tieso

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esperando para declarar

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se mete la mano en el culo

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y la saca llena de mantequilla marrón

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Los alguaciles ni se acercan

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Y él mirando a la jueza a los ojos

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se limpia los dedos a lametazos

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Me cago en la puta

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Así que la jueza dice

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Está loco no puedo encerrarlo Y lo manda al psiquiátrico

00:01:03.813 --> 00:01:05.069

Se lo tragó

00:01:05.857 --> 00:01:07.901

Sí como es tan lista

00:01:08.993 --> 00:01:12.197

Cuando se enteró de que era mantequilla ya lo habían transferido

00:01:18.203 --> 00:01:21.164

Proceso cerrado Sí cerrado

00:01:21.581 --> 00:01:24.459

El cabrón pasará 6 meses en el loquero

00:01:24.626 --> 00:01:27.212

luego dirán que está bien y lo soltarán

00:01:27.378 --> 00:01:28.755

Se libra de la cárcel

00:01:29.997 --> 00:01:30.298

Es un mérito

00:01:30.465 --> 00:01:33.259

Si engaña al sistema merece la libertad

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Sí Tú crees

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O no

00:01:38.473 --> 00:01:40.005

Te voy a decir algo

00:01:40.999 --> 00:01:43.102

Si me encuentro a ese tío por la calle

00:01:43.001 --> 00:01:45.104

me lo cargo

Available in 5 languages

Duration

105 seconds

Views

1,177

Timestamp in Movie

00:56:58

Uploaded

Feb 19, 2026

Genres

crime, drama, thriller

Production

N/A

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Movie Summary

A rookie cop spends his first day as a Los Angeles narcotics officer with a rogue detective who isn't what he appears to be.

Actors

Doug Rosselli

Jake