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Get your jacket

Two and a Half Men

Get your jacket. It's time to go. I don't want to go. I hate clothes shopping. - You can't...

Two and a Half Men • S01E11 • 2003

Get your jacket. It's time to go. I don't want to go. I hate clothes shopping. - You can't stay here alone.- Why not? You know why not. But you don't have a turtleto put in the microwave anymore. - Get your jacket.- Fine. I'll put on my stupid jacket,we'll get in the stupid car, and we'll go stupid clothes shopping. Hey, don't talkto your stupid father like that. - So, you ready for your big makeover?- You know what? Actually, I am. - I was up all night thinking about it.- All night? Maybe your money's better spenton a hooker. No, listen, I was in the bathroom,looking at myself in the mirror, when I noticed, and I think I can becompletely objective about this, that I have a very nice assfor a guy my age. And I think I should start dressingin such a way as to play that card. You know, for the ladies

Full Transcript

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Get your jacket It's time to go

00:00:02.535 --> 00:00:04.594

I don't want to go I hate clothes shopping

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You can't stay here alone Why not

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You know why not

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But you don't have a turtle to put in the microwave anymore

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Get your jacket Fine

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I'll put on my stupid jacket we'll get in the stupid car

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and we'll go stupid clothes shopping

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Hey don't talk to your stupid father like that

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So you ready for your big makeover You know what Actually I am

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I was up all night thinking about it All night

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Maybe your money's better spent on a hooker

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No listen

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I was in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror

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when I noticed and I think I can be completely objective about this

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that I have a very nice ass for a guy my age

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And I think I should start dressing in such a way as to play that card

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You know for the ladies

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احضر سترتك حان وقت الرحيل

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لا اريد الذهاب أكره التسوق لشراء الملابس

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لا يمكنك البقاء هنا وحيدا لم لا

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أنت تعرف السبب

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ولكن لم يعد هناك سلحفاة لتضعها في المايكرويف مجددا

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احضر سترتك حسنا

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سأرتدي سترتي الغبية وسندلف للسيارة الغبية

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وسنذهب للتسوق الغبي عن الملابس

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لا تتحدث إلى والدك الغبي هكذا

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أأنت مستعد لتغييرك الكبير أتعلم بالفعل أنا كذلك

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لقد كنت مستيقظ الليل بأكمله أفكر بهذا الليل بأكمله

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لربما يمكنك أن تقضي وقتك بصورة أفضل على عاهرة

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كلا اسمعني

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لقد كنت بالحمام ونظرت لنفسي في المرآة

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عندما لاحظت واعتقد أنني موضوعي حول هذا أنني لدي مؤخرة لطيفة لرجل بعمري

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واعتقد أنه يجب أن ارتدي ملابس بطريقة تظهر هذا

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كما تعلم للنساء

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Habille toi Il faut y aller

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Non J'ai horreur d'acheter des vêtements

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Tu peux pas rester tout seul Pourquoi

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Tu sais pourquoi

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Mais j'ai plus de tortue à mettre au micro ondes à présent

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Va chercher ton blouson Parfait

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Je mets mon idiot de blouson On prend ta stupide voiture

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et on va faire des courses débiles

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Eh ne parle pas comme ça à ton crétin de père

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Alors tu es prêt pour ton relookage Tu veux savoir En fait je le suis

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J'ai pas dormi de la nuit tant j'y pensais De la nuit

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Vaut mieux dépenser ton fric avec une call girl

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Non attends

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j'étais dans la salle de bain je me regardais dans ma glace

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quand j'ai remarqué et je pense être objectif en disant ça

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que j'avais un très joli derrière pour quelqu'un de mon âge

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Et je crois que je devrais m'habiller de façon à pouvoir profiter de cet atout

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Tu sais auprès des femmes

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Zieh dich an wir müssen los

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Ich will aber nicht ich hasse Kleider shoppen

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Du kannst nicht alleine hier bleiben Wieso denn

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Das weißt du sehr gut

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Aber ich hab keine Schildkröte mehr zum in die Mikrowelle stecken

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Hol deine Jacke Gut

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Dann hol ich eben meine blöde Jacke wir steigen in das blöde Auto

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und kaufen blöde Klamotten

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Hey red nicht so mit deinem blöden Vater

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Na bereit für deine große Renovierung Ja eigentlich schon

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Ich hab's mir die ganze Nacht überlegt Die ganze Nacht

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Dann gib dein Geld vielleicht lieber für eine Nutte aus

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Nein hör zu

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ich war im Bad und hab mich im Spiegel betrachtet

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Dabei ist mir aufgefallen und ich glaube ich kann das objektiv beurteilen

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dass ich für einen Mann meines Alters einen Superarsch habe

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Und ich finde dass ich bei der

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Kleiderwahl diese Karte ruhig ausspielen sollte

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Du weißt schon Für die Ladys

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Надевай куртку нам пора

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Не хочу я никуда ехать Ненавижу магазины

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Одному тебе оставаться нельзя Почему

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Ты знаешь почему

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Но у тебя больше нет черепахи которую можно сунуть в микроволновку

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Надевай куртку Ладно

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Надену дурацкую куртку мы сядем в дурацкую машину

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и поедем в дурацкий магазин

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Эй не говори так со своим дурацким отцом

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Ну что готов к обновлению А знаешь что Готов

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Я всю ночь об этом думал Всю ночь

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Может лучше потратить деньги на шлюшку

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Слушай я был в ванной смотрел на себя в зеркало

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и вдруг заметил думаю я могу судить объективно

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что у меня отличная задница для человека моего возраста

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Думаю мне нужно одеваться так чтобы она выигрышно смотрелась

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Ну для дамочек

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Toma tu chaqueta Tenemos que irnos

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No quiero ir Odio ir de compras

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No puedes quedarte aquí solo Por qué

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Sabes por qué

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Pero ya no tienes una tortuga para que la meta en el microondas

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Toma la chaqueta Bien

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Tomaré la estúpida chaqueta entraré al estúpido auto

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e iremos a comprar ropa estúpida

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Oye no hables así a tu estúpido padre

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Estás listo para el gran cambio Sabes una cosa Lo estoy

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He pensado en eso toda la noche Toda la noche

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Quizás sea mejor invertir en una prostituta

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Escucha

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estaba en el baño mirándome al espejo

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cuando me fijé y creo que puedo ser objetivo

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en que tengo un buen culo para mi edad

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Y creo que tendría que vestir para realzarlo

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Ya sabes por las chicas

Available in 6 languages

Duration

57 seconds

Views

14

Timestamp in Movie

00:07:42

Uploaded

Mar 09, 2026

Season

1

Episode

11

Genres

comedy, romance

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Movie Summary

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.