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I have some things that'll put the bit back in your mouthAny idiot can make a swordSorry Father
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Van Helsing

Oh, sorry, Father

Carl:
Now, I've got some things that will put the bit back in your mouth...Carl:Oh, any idiot can make a sword.Carl:Oh, sorry, Father

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.669
I have some things that'll put the bit back in your mouth
00:00:03.753 --> 00:00:05.838
Any idiot can make a sword
00:00:06.505 --> 00:00:07.084
Sorry Father
Available in 6 languages
Duration
9 seconds
Views
336
Timestamp in Movie
00:18:01
Uploaded
Feb 19, 2026
Genres
action, adventure, fantasy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

The famed monster hunter is sent to Transylvania to stop Count Dracula, who is using Dr. Frankenstein's research and a werewolf for nefarious purposes.

Actors

David Wenham
Carl
David Wenham
Come along Carl Here take thisRings of garlic holy watersilver stake crucifixWhy can't I have one of those - Van Helsing 00:19
Come along Carl Here take thisRings of garlic holy...
You've never gone after vampires before now have youVampires gargoyles warlocks they're all the sameBest when cooked well - Van Helsing 00:08
You've never gone after vampires before now have...
Here's something newGlycerin 48SorryWhat in Allah's name is wrong with youThe air around here is thick with envy - Van Helsing 00:19
Here's something newGlycerin 48SorryWhat in...
Trust me you'll need this A work of certifiable geniusLf you don't say so yourself No I did say so myself - Van Helsing 00:08
Trust me you'll need this A work of certifiable...
I don't know You can blind your enemiesCharbroil a herd of charging wildebeestUse your imaginationNo I'm gonna use yours That's why you're coming with meHoly hell be damned I am You cursedNot very well but you're a monkYou shouldn't curse at allActually - Van Helsing 00:20
I don't know You can blind your enemiesCharbroil a herd...
No I'm gonna use yours That's why you're coming with meHoly hell be damned I am You cursedNot very well but you're a monkYou shouldn't curse at allActually I'm still just a friar I can curse all I want - Van Helsing 00:14
No I'm gonna use yours That's why you're...
The Cardinal has ordered you to keep me aliveFor as long as possible But I'm not a field manI don't want to go to Transylvania - Van Helsing 00:13
The Cardinal has ordered you to keep me aliveFor as long as...
Come on. - Van Helsing 00:07
Come on.
- No, Anna, it will kill you! - Van Helsing 00:11
- No, Anna, it will kill you!
My gun! - Van Helsing 00:07
My gun!
Find Velkan's gun It has to be the silver bullets - Van Helsing 00:05
Find Velkan's gun It has to be the silver bullets
Anna, hurry! - Van Helsing 00:16
Anna, hurry!
God... help us. - Van Helsing 00:07
God... help us.
So what do you remember Not now CarlThere must be somethingI remember fighting the Romans at MasadaThat was in 73 A D You asked - Van Helsing 00:13
So what do you remember Not now CarlThere must be somethingI...
What are we doing hereWhy is it so important to kill this Dracula anywayBecause he's the son of the Devil I mean besides thatIf we kill him anything bitten or created by him will also dieI mean besides that - Van Helsing 00:14
What are we doing hereWhy is it so important to kill this...
- Is it always like this? - Van Helsing 00:08
- Is it always like this?
You turn aroundLet me see your faces WhyBecause we don't trust strangers - Van Helsing 00:12
You turn aroundLet me see your faces WhyBecause we...
- Let me see your faces. - Van Helsing 00:19
- Let me see your faces.
You refuse to obey our laws? - Van Helsing 00:14
You refuse to obey our laws?
Everybody inside! - Van Helsing 00:07
Everybody inside!