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They gave me the keys to the damn palaceChief of StaffHoly shitYou salty son of a bitchYou did itAll right we have work to doKissinger is trying to kiss and make up with the SovietsWell let's make
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Vice

Youngest Chief of Staff in history! It's amazing. It's a dream

Vice 2018
Donald Rumsfeld: They gave me the keys to the damn palace! Chief of Staff.Dick Cheney:Holy shit! You salty son of a bitch. You did it.Donald Rumsfeld:All right, we have work to do. Kissinger is trying to kiss and make up with the Soviets.Dick Cheney:Well, let's make sure that shit doesn't happen.Donald Rumsfeld: Yeah.Dick Cheney: If I may, I believe I may have a way to put an oar in the water, on Russia. What if... we create...Henry Kissinger: Mr. President.Gerald Ford:Come on Henry, let's hear Dick out.Kurt: One of Dick Cheney's special super powers, was the ability to make the most wild and extreme ideas sound measured and professional.Dick Cheney:What if on a unilateral basis, we all put miniature wigs on our penises and we walked out to the White House lawn, and jerked each other off. So, like a puppet show, but much more enjoyable?Henry Kissinger:Hmmm... I do like a good puppet show.Gerald Ford:I say we do it.Reporter:Henry Kissinger has been relieved as National Security Adviser and replaced by Brent Scowcroft.Reporter 2:They're calling it the Halloween Massacre.Henry Kissinger:Mr President.Gerald Ford:Hold on, Henry.Reporter 3:Donald Rumsfeld has replaced Secretary of Defense James Schlesinger.Reporter 4: And Dick Cheney has been chosen, as the...Lynne Cheney:Youngest Chief of Staff in history! It's amazing. It's a dream

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.744
They gave me the keys to the damn palace
00:00:06.714 --> 00:00:07.921
Chief of Staff
00:00:09.991 --> 00:00:10.084
Holy shit
00:00:10.927 --> 00:00:13.715
You salty son of a bitch
00:00:13.805 --> 00:00:15.262
You did it
00:00:15.348 --> 00:00:17.084
All right we have work to do
00:00:17.934 --> 00:00:20.722
Kissinger is trying to kiss and make up with the Soviets
00:00:21.771 --> 00:00:25.056
Well let's make sure that shit doesn't happen
00:00:29.862 --> 00:00:30.943
Yeah
00:00:38.913 --> 00:00:42.532
If I may I believe I may have a way
00:00:42.625 --> 00:00:45.333
to put an oar in the water on Russia
00:00:45.042 --> 00:00:47.582
What if we create
00:00:47.672 --> 00:00:51.336
Mr President Hold on Henry let's hear Dick out
00:00:51.426 --> 00:00:54.339
One of Dick Cheney's special superpowers
00:00:54.429 --> 00:00:56.017
was the ability to make
00:00:56.264 --> 00:00:59.257
the most wild and extreme ideas
00:00:59.035 --> 00:01:02.138
sound measured and professional
00:01:02.228 --> 00:01:04.001
What if on a unilateral basis
00:01:04.001 --> 00:01:08.999
we all put miniature wigs on our penises
00:01:08.318 --> 00:01:11.777
and we walked out to the White House lawn
00:01:11.863 --> 00:01:13.399
and jerked each other off
00:01:13.489 --> 00:01:18.996
So like a puppet show but much more enjoyable
00:01:18.119 --> 00:01:20.999
Hmm I do like a good puppet show
00:01:21.998 --> 00:01:23.163
I say we do it
00:01:23.249 --> 00:01:25.206
Henry Kissinger has been relieved
00:01:25.001 --> 00:01:26.001
as national security advisor
00:01:26.753 --> 00:01:28.999
and replaced by Brent Scowcroft
00:01:30.715 --> 00:01:33.503
They're calling it the Halloween Massacre
00:01:33.593 --> 00:01:34.913
Mr President Hold on Henry
00:01:34.999 --> 00:01:36.529
Donald Rumsfeld has replaced
00:01:36.596 --> 00:01:38.679
Secretary of Defense James Schlesinger
00:01:38.765 --> 00:01:40.999
And Dick Cheney has been chosen as the
00:01:40.999 --> 00:01:42.137
Youngest Chief of Staff in history
00:01:42.226 --> 00:01:44.001
It's amazing It's a dream It's real
Available in 8 languages
Duration
105 seconds
Views
80
Timestamp in Movie
00:30:37
Uploaded
Mar 12, 2026
Genres
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

George W. Bush picks Dick Cheney, the CEO of Halliburton Co., to be his Republican running mate in the 2000 presidential election. No stranger to politics, Cheney's impressive résumé includes stints as White House chief of staff, House Minority Whip and Defense Secretary. When Bush wins by a narrow margin, Cheney begins to use his newfound power to help reshape the country and the world.