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They gave me the keys to the damn palaceChief of StaffHoly shitYou salty son of a bitchYou did itAll right we have work to doKissinger is trying to kiss and make up with the SovietsWell let's make

Youngest Chief of Staff in history! It's amazing. It's a dream

Vice • 2018

Donald Rumsfeld: They gave me the keys to the damn palace! Chief of Staff.Dick Cheney:Holy shit! You salty son of a bitch. You did it.Donald Rumsfeld:All right, we have work to do. Kissinger is trying to kiss and make up with the Soviets.Dick Cheney:Well, let's make sure that shit doesn't happen.Donald Rumsfeld: Yeah.Dick Cheney: If I may, I believe I may have a way to put an oar in the water, on Russia. What if... we create...Henry Kissinger: Mr. President.Gerald Ford:Come on Henry, let's hear Dick out.Kurt: One of Dick Cheney's special super powers, was the ability to make the most wild and extreme ideas sound measured and professional.Dick Cheney:What if on a unilateral basis, we all put miniature wigs on our penises and we walked out to the White House lawn, and jerked each other off. So, like a puppet show, but much more enjoyable?Henry Kissinger:Hmmm... I do like a good puppet show.Gerald Ford:I say we do it.Reporter:Henry Kissinger has been relieved as National Security Adviser and replaced by Brent Scowcroft.Reporter 2:They're calling it the Halloween Massacre.Henry Kissinger:Mr President.Gerald Ford:Hold on, Henry.Reporter 3:Donald Rumsfeld has replaced Secretary of Defense James Schlesinger.Reporter 4: And Dick Cheney has been chosen, as the...Lynne Cheney:Youngest Chief of Staff in history! It's amazing. It's a dream

Full Transcript

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They gave me the keys to the damn palace

00:00:06.714 --> 00:00:07.921

Chief of Staff

00:00:09.991 --> 00:00:10.084

Holy shit

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You salty son of a bitch

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You did it

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All right we have work to do

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Kissinger is trying to kiss and make up with the Soviets

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Well let's make sure that shit doesn't happen

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Yeah

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If I may I believe I may have a way

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to put an oar in the water on Russia

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What if we create

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Mr President Hold on Henry let's hear Dick out

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One of Dick Cheney's special superpowers

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was the ability to make

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the most wild and extreme ideas

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sound measured and professional

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What if on a unilateral basis

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we all put miniature wigs on our penises

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and we walked out to the White House lawn

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and jerked each other off

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So like a puppet show but much more enjoyable

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Hmm I do like a good puppet show

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I say we do it

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Henry Kissinger has been relieved

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as national security advisor

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and replaced by Brent Scowcroft

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They're calling it the Halloween Massacre

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Mr President Hold on Henry

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Donald Rumsfeld has replaced

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Secretary of Defense James Schlesinger

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And Dick Cheney has been chosen as the

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Youngest Chief of Staff in history

00:01:42.226 --> 00:01:44.001

It's amazing It's a dream It's real

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.583

أنهم اعطوني مفاتيح القصر اللعين

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منصب رئيس الأركان

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سحق ا

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أن ك وغد لعين

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لقد فعلتها

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جزئي ا لدينا عمل لنفعله

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سيحاول كيسنجر تقبيل وتعويض الأمر مع الاتحاد السوفيتي

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حسن ا

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لنحرص ألا يحدث هذا الهراء

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أجل

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إذا امكنني أظن أن لدي طريقة

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an4 جيرالد ر فورد رئيس أمريكا 1974 1977

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لوضع الخام في مياه روسيا

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ـ ماذا لو خلقنا ـ سي دي الرئيس

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بحقك هنري لنسمع ديك

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أحد قوى ديك تشيني الخارقة

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كانت القدرة على صنع أكثر الأفكار الوحشية والمتطرفة

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التي تبدو مدروسة واحترفية

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ماذا سيحدث لو بشكل انفرادي

00:01:04.526 --> 00:01:08.004

نضع كل الباروكات المصغرة على قضباننا

00:01:08.012 --> 00:01:11.999

ونخرج إلى حديقة البيت الأبيض

00:01:11.999 --> 00:01:13.431

ونقوم بالاستمناء على بعضنا الآخر

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مثل عرض الدمى لكن اكثر متعة

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احب عرض الدمى الجيد

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اقول أن نفعلها

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كان هنري كيسنجر مرتاح كمستشار الأمن الوطني واستبداله بـ برنت سكوكروفت

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إنهم يطلقون عليها مذبحة هالوين

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ـ سي دي الرئيس ـ تمهل

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استبدل دونالد رامسفيلد وزير الدفاع جيمس شليزنجر

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وتم اختيار ديك تشيني كأصغر رئيس أركان في التاريخ هذا رائع هذا حلم

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an6 البيت الأبيض رئيس الأركان من عامي 1975 إلى 1977

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هذا حقيقي

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Ils m'ont donné les clés de ce palais

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Chef de cabinet

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Mon Dieu

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Petit salopard

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Tu as réussi

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Très bien on a du travail

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Kissinger essaie de se réconcilier avec les Soviétiques

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Assurons nous que ça n'arrive pas

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Oui

00:00:38.912 --> 00:00:41.054

Si je peux me permettre j'ai peut être un moyen

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Gerald R Ford Président des États Unis d'Amérique

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pour mettre un bâton dans les roues de la Russie

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Et si nous créions

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Monsieur le Président

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Attends Henry écoutons Dick

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L'un des superpouvoirs spéciaux de Dick Cheney était

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sa capacité de donner

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aux idées les plus extravagantes et les plus extrêmes

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une apparence réfléchie et professionnelle

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Et si sur une base unilatérale

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nous mettions tous des perruques miniatures sur nos pénis

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et que nous sortions sur la pelouse de la Maison Blanche

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pour se branler

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Comme un spectacle de marionnettes mais beaucoup plus agréable

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J'aime les bons spectacles de marionnettes

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Je dis que nous devrions le faire

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Henry Kissinger a été relevé

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de ses fonctions de conseiller à la sécurité nationale

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et a été remplacé par Brent Scowcroft

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Ils appellent ça le massacre d'Halloween

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RÉUNION D'EXAMEN D'UNE QUESTION DU CONSEIL NATIONAL

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Monsieur le Président Attends Henry

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Donald Rumsfeld a remplacé

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le ministre de la Défense James Schlesinger

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Et Dick Cheney a été choisi comme

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Chef de cabinet de la Maison Blanche 1975 1977

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Le plus jeune chef de cabinet de l'histoire

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C'est incroyable C'est un rêve C'est réel

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Die haben mir den Schlüssel zum Palast überlassen

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Stabschef

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Heilige Scheiße

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Du gerissener Drecksack

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Du hast es geschafft

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So es liegt viel Arbeit vor uns

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Kissinger will sich bei den Sowjets einschleimen

00:00:21.625 --> 00:00:25.588

Dann sorgen wir mal dafür dass diese Scheiße nicht passiert

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Genau

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GERALD R FORD US PRÄSIDENT VON 1974 1977

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Ich weiß vielleicht

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wie man Russland in die Suppe spucken kann

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Angenommen wir erschaffen

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Herr Präsident

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Langsam Henry lass Dick ausreden

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Zu Dick Cheneys Superkräften zählte unter anderem

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die große Gabe selbst die wildesten und abstrusesten Ideen

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vernünftig und professionell klingen zu lassen

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Was wäre wenn wir auf unilateralem Wege

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uns alle kleine Perücken über den Penis stülpen

00:01:08.301 --> 00:01:13.267

und uns auf dem Rasen vorm Weißen Haus gegenseitig einen runterholen

00:01:13.477 --> 00:01:17.027

Praktisch wie in einer Puppenshow nur viel befriedigender

00:01:19.001 --> 00:01:21.001

Ich mag gute Puppenshows

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Ich bin dafür

00:01:23.205 --> 00:01:26.003

Henry Kissinger wurde als Sicherheitsberater abgelöst

00:01:26.295 --> 00:01:28.063

und durch Brent Scowcroft ersetzt

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Man spricht bereits vom Halloween Massaker

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Herr Präsident Augenblick

00:01:35.396 --> 00:01:38.517

Donald Rumsfeld ersetzt Verteidigungsminister James Schlesinger

00:01:38.999 --> 00:01:41.816

Dick Cheney wird Jüngster Stabschef aller Zeiten

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STABSCHEF IM WEISSEN HAUS 1975 1977

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Ein Traum Aber wahr

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Mereka memberiku kunci ke istana itu

00:00:06.771 --> 00:00:08.174

Kepala Staf

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Astaga

00:00:10.943 --> 00:00:13.843

Dasar kau bajingan licik

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Kau melakukannya

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Baiklah kita punya pekerjaan

00:00:17.075 --> 00:00:20.818

Kissinger sedang mencoba untuk mencium dan berbaikan dengan Soviet

00:00:21.619 --> 00:00:25.069

Pastikan itu tak akan terjadi

00:00:29.895 --> 00:00:31.196

Ya

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Jika boleh kuyakin aku punya cara

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untuk meletakkan dayung di laut Rusia

00:00:45.344 --> 00:00:47.745

Bagaimana jika kita menciptakan

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Tn Presiden

00:00:49.414 --> 00:00:51.347

Tunggu Henry mari kita dengarkan Dick

00:00:51.349 --> 00:00:54.351

Salah satu kekuatan super Dick Cheney

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adalah kemampuan untuk membuat

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ide ide paling liar dan ekstrim

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yang kelihatannya teratur dan profesional

00:01:02.194 --> 00:01:04.001

Bagaimana jika secara unilateral

00:01:04.053 --> 00:01:08.265

kita semua memasang wig miniatur di penis kita

00:01:08.267 --> 00:01:11.902

dan kita berjalan keluar ke halaman Gedung Putih

00:01:11.904 --> 00:01:13.001

dan saling mengocok satu sama lain

00:01:13.405 --> 00:01:18.107

Jadi seperti pertunjukan boneka tetapi jauh lebih menyenangkan

00:01:18.999 --> 00:01:21.993

Hmm Aku memang suka pertunjukan boneka

00:01:21.003 --> 00:01:23.212

Kalau begitu kita lakukan

00:01:23.214 --> 00:01:26.616

Henry Kissinger telah diberhentikan sebagai penasihat keamanan nasional

00:01:26.999 --> 00:01:28.852

dan digantikan oleh Brent Scowcroft

00:01:30.999 --> 00:01:33.489

Mereka menyebutnya sebagai Pembantaian Halloween

00:01:33.491 --> 00:01:34.001

Tn Presiden Tunggu Henry

00:01:34.792 --> 00:01:38.628

Donald Rumsfeld telah menggantikan Menteri Pertahanan James Schlesinger

00:01:38.063 --> 00:01:40.396

Dan Dick Cheney telah terpilih sebagai

00:01:40.398 --> 00:01:42.199

Kepala Staf termuda dalam sejarah

00:01:42.999 --> 00:01:44.303

Luar biasa Seperti mimpi saja Ini nyata

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.744

やつらはゴミためのカギをくれたぞ

00:00:06.714 --> 00:00:07.921

首席補佐官だ

00:00:09.991 --> 00:00:10.926

すげえ

00:00:10.927 --> 00:00:13.804

あんたらしい

00:00:13.805 --> 00:00:15.347

やりましたね

00:00:15.348 --> 00:00:17.933

よし仕事だ

00:00:17.934 --> 00:00:20.722

キッシンジャーはソヴィエトとよろしくやる気だ

00:00:21.771 --> 00:00:25.056

じゃあそのクソはありえないと思い知らせましょう

00:00:29.862 --> 00:00:30.943

そうさ

00:00:38.913 --> 00:00:42.624

わたしならロシアの妨害をする

00:00:42.625 --> 00:00:45.419

方法があると思います

00:00:45.042 --> 00:00:47.671

もしわれわれがやれば

00:00:47.672 --> 00:00:51.425

大統領待てヘンリーディックの話を

00:00:51.426 --> 00:00:54.428

ディックチェイニーの異常な能力のひとつは

00:00:54.429 --> 00:00:56.263

もっとも野卑で極端なアイデアを

00:00:56.264 --> 00:00:59.349

もっともらしく

00:00:59.035 --> 00:01:02.227

聞かせることだ

00:01:02.228 --> 00:01:04.646

もしわれわれが一方的に

00:01:04.001 --> 00:01:08.999

アレにカツラをかぶせて

00:01:08.318 --> 00:01:11.999

ホワイトハウスの芝生に出て行き

00:01:11.863 --> 00:01:13.488

おたがいにマスをかいたら

00:01:13.489 --> 00:01:18.999

人形芝居みたいにねでももっと笑える

00:01:18.119 --> 00:01:21.994

わたしが好きなのは質の高い人形芝居だ

00:01:21.998 --> 00:01:23.248

やってみよう

00:01:23.249 --> 00:01:25.292

ヘンリーキッシンジャーが解任されました

00:01:25.001 --> 00:01:26.752

国家安全保障担当補佐官の

00:01:26.753 --> 00:01:28.795

後任はブレントスコークロフトです

00:01:30.715 --> 00:01:33.592

これはハロウィンの大虐殺と呼ばれています

00:01:33.593 --> 00:01:34.968

大統領まあ待てヘンリー

00:01:34.999 --> 00:01:36.595

ドナルドラムズフェルトは

00:01:36.596 --> 00:01:38.764

ジェームズシュレシンジャーの後任で国防長官です

00:01:38.765 --> 00:01:40.474

ディックチェイニーは

00:01:40.999 --> 00:01:42.999

最年少の首席補佐官です

00:01:42.226 --> 00:01:44.001

すばらしいわ夢みたい現実だよ

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.962

Сейчас у меня ключи от дворца

00:00:06.631 --> 00:00:08.942

Глава администрации

00:00:08.966 --> 00:00:13.053

Охренеть Ну ты ловкий сукин сын

00:00:13.554 --> 00:00:15.198

Отлично

00:00:15.222 --> 00:00:17.743

Так у нас есть работа

00:00:17.767 --> 00:00:21.538

Киссинджер пытается сдружиться с Советами

00:00:21.562 --> 00:00:26.015

Что ж как говорится только не в нашу смену

00:00:29.737 --> 00:00:31.613

Да

00:00:38.913 --> 00:00:40.033

Джеральд Р Форд президент США 1974 1977

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Если позволите я думаю я возможно знаю

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как мы можем сделать русских Что если мы создадим

00:00:47.922 --> 00:00:50.757

Господин президент Подожди Генри Давай выслушаем

00:00:50.758 --> 00:00:55.489

Одним из супер умений Дика Чейни была способность

00:00:55.513 --> 00:01:00.558

представлять самые дикие и радикальные идеи разумными

00:01:00.559 --> 00:01:02.999

и профессиональными

00:01:02.061 --> 00:01:06.583

Что если мы в одностороннем порядке наденем крошечные парики

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на наши пенисы и выйдем на лужайку перед Белым домом

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дергая друг друга за члены

00:01:13.001 --> 00:01:18.845

Это как кукольное представление но намного приятнее

00:01:18.869 --> 00:01:22.001

Я люблю кукольные представления Так и сделаем

00:01:22.999 --> 00:01:26.999

Генри Киссинджер освобожден от поста советника по национальной безопасности

00:01:26.627 --> 00:01:29.129

Его заменил Брент Скоукрофт

00:01:30.798 --> 00:01:33.277

Это было названо Резней в Хэллоуин

00:01:33.301 --> 00:01:34.634

Господин президент Секунду

00:01:34.001 --> 00:01:38.001

Дональд Рамсфелд сменил на посту министра обороны Джеймса Шлезингера

00:01:38.514 --> 00:01:39.764

А Дик Чейни теперь

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Глава администрации Белого дома 1975 1977

00:01:40.001 --> 00:01:43.643

Самый молодой глава администрации в истории Поразительно Фантастика

00:01:43.001 --> 00:01:45.455

Это реальность

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Me dieron

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las llaves del maldito palacio

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Jefe de Gabinete

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Con una mierda

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Suertudo hijo de puta

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Lo lograste

00:00:15.317 --> 00:00:17.563

En parte tenemos trabajo que hacer

00:00:17.809 --> 00:00:21.196

Kissinger está tratando de besar y hacer las paces con los soviéticos

00:00:21.041 --> 00:00:22.721

Bueno

00:00:22.745 --> 00:00:25.687

asegurémonos de que esa mierda no suceda

00:00:29.741 --> 00:00:31.999

Sí

00:00:38.568 --> 00:00:42.404

Si me permite creo que puedo tener una manera

00:00:42.428 --> 00:00:45.271

para poner un mineral en el agua en Rusia

00:00:45.295 --> 00:00:46.503

Y si

00:00:46.678 --> 00:00:48.646

Creamos Señor Presidente

00:00:48.067 --> 00:00:51.012

Vamos Henry escuchemos a Dick

00:00:51.001 --> 00:00:54.441

Uno de los superpoderes especiales de Dick Cheney

00:00:54.465 --> 00:00:59.245

era la habilidad de hacer las ideas más salvajes y extremas

00:00:59.269 --> 00:01:01.971

que sonaran mesuradas y profesionales

00:01:01.995 --> 00:01:04.502

Qué pasaría si de forma unilateral

00:01:04.526 --> 00:01:08.004

todos nos ponemos pelucas en miniatura en el pene

00:01:08.012 --> 00:01:11.999

y salimos al césped de la Casa Blanca

00:01:11.999 --> 00:01:13.431

y nos masturbamos entre sí

00:01:13.455 --> 00:01:16.002

Así que como un espectáculo de marionetas

00:01:16.007 --> 00:01:17.649

pero mucho más agradable

00:01:19.005 --> 00:01:21.613

Me gusta un buen espectáculo de marionetas

00:01:21.001 --> 00:01:23.001

Yo digo que lo hagamos

00:01:23.999 --> 00:01:25.788

Henry Kissinger ha sido relevado como Asesor

00:01:25.812 --> 00:01:28.078

de Seguridad Nacional y reemplazado por Brent Scowcroft

00:01:30.842 --> 00:01:33.459

Lo llaman la Masacre de la Noche de Brujas

00:01:33.483 --> 00:01:35.226

Señor Presidente Espera un momento

00:01:35.025 --> 00:01:38.357

Donald Rumsfeld ha reemplazado al Secretario de Defensa James Schlesinger

00:01:38.381 --> 00:01:40.178

Y Dick Cheney ha sido elegido como el

00:01:40.202 --> 00:01:43.515

Jefe de Gabinete más joven de la historia Es asombroso Es un sueño

00:01:43.539 --> 00:01:44.816

Es real

Available in 8 languages

Duration

105 seconds

Views

80

Timestamp in Movie

00:30:37

Uploaded

Mar 12, 2026

Genres

Production

N/A

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Movie Summary

George W. Bush picks Dick Cheney, the CEO of Halliburton Co., to be his Republican running mate in the 2000 presidential election. No stranger to politics, Cheney's impressive résumé includes stints as White House chief of staff, House Minority Whip and Defense Secretary. When Bush wins by a narrow margin, Cheney begins to use his newfound power to help reshape the country and the world.