Join the conversation
Log in or create an account to leave a comment
Log In
Monty's Mom:
So I called your house today, at two. You were still asleep, weren't you? Monty:
That's an understatement. Monty's Mom:
So what did you do last night? I trust my little angel didn't do anything immoral. Monty:
Well, ummm... Let's see. I started by getting completely hammered drunk. It was bad. Then drove, while intoxicated, to pick up this disease-infested hooker. Monty's Mom:
Uh huh... Monty:
From there... uh, Let's see. Me and the hooker went back to my place... Monty's Mom:
The hooker and I. Monty:
Excuse me. The hooker and I went back to my place and From there... God, it was just a blur of intravenous drug abuse and unprotected sex, while taking the Lord's name in vain. Monty's Mom:
Dean, did you know that when Monty was a child everyone thought he was retarded? Monty:
Dean, doesn't my mom look old? I mean, much older than she rightfully should? Monty's Mom:
So why aren't you and Serena still together? I liked her. Monty:
I don't know. I guess it got old. We had a relationship based on orgasms. Monty's Mom:
Oh, how charming. You are being safe aren't you? I don't think I could handle the idea of you reproducing. Monty:
Come on, mom! Of course I'm being safe. I pull out. Monty's Mom:
Yes, well your father pulled out too but we've all seen the tragic end of that story. Monty:
You think I wanna have kids? Absolutely not! That's why I stick to anal sex. Monty's Mom:
If only I had been so lucky
So I called your house today, at two. You were still asleep, weren't you? Monty:
That's an understatement. Monty's Mom:
So what did you do last night? I trust my little angel didn't do anything immoral. Monty:
Well, ummm... Let's see. I started by getting completely hammered drunk. It was bad. Then drove, while intoxicated, to pick up this disease-infested hooker. Monty's Mom:
Uh huh... Monty:
From there... uh, Let's see. Me and the hooker went back to my place... Monty's Mom:
The hooker and I. Monty:
Excuse me. The hooker and I went back to my place and From there... God, it was just a blur of intravenous drug abuse and unprotected sex, while taking the Lord's name in vain. Monty's Mom:
Dean, did you know that when Monty was a child everyone thought he was retarded? Monty:
Dean, doesn't my mom look old? I mean, much older than she rightfully should? Monty's Mom:
So why aren't you and Serena still together? I liked her. Monty:
I don't know. I guess it got old. We had a relationship based on orgasms. Monty's Mom:
Oh, how charming. You are being safe aren't you? I don't think I could handle the idea of you reproducing. Monty:
Come on, mom! Of course I'm being safe. I pull out. Monty's Mom:
Yes, well your father pulled out too but we've all seen the tragic end of that story. Monty:
You think I wanna have kids? Absolutely not! That's why I stick to anal sex. Monty's Mom:
If only I had been so lucky
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.056
I Iike you too Monty
00:00:03.669 --> 00:00:06.365
So what couId I get you to drink
00:00:06.472 --> 00:00:08.999
I trust you
00:00:09.241 --> 00:00:12.733
You know what You can count on me sir
00:00:15.514 --> 00:00:17.448
I don't even care if he gives me a poor tip
00:00:17.055 --> 00:00:20.144
that is the cooIest oId man I've met in my entire Iife
00:00:20.252 --> 00:00:22.686
How's your tabIe CoupIe of hicks
00:00:22.788 --> 00:00:25.999
Yikes Yeah but the check totaI's 63
00:00:25.191 --> 00:00:28.388
so even if they tip 15 percent I shouId make 10 bucks
00:00:28.494 --> 00:00:32.521
You're a bastard So far I've made 15 percent of jack shit
Want This Clip in HD?
Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →
Movie Summary
Young employees at Shenaniganz restaurant collectively stave off boredom and adulthood with their antics.
Actors
Monty's Mom
Monty
