I can't even smell, touch, feel, I can't even masturbate! You ever tried to jerk off with...

[Nate's ghost appears when Dewey's in a rehab bathtub] Dewey Cox:
[smiling]
Nate! [younger Nate suddenly transforms into an older Nate] Dewey Cox:
[scared]
Ahh! Nate? Older Nate:
This is what I'd look like had I grown up into an adult... and perhaps h-hadn't been murdered or whatever. I just came to tell you, you need to get your shit together! Dewey Cox:
[disappointed]
I know. I've fallen again. Older Nate:
Will you listen to yourself? You keep whining like a little bitch! If I was alive right now, I'd be the fuckin' president! Of the United States! I'd be on the moon walkin' around lookin' for aliens to kill! Dewey Cox:
What? Older Nate:
You know why Dad liked me better than you? Cause I *was* better than you. When I played the piano, I was fuckin' awesome! Dewey Cox:
Oh, you think it's been easy for me? Since you're gone I got no sense of smell. Older Nate:
[mocking Dewey with a squealing voice]
Oh you got no sense of smell? Can't smell anything? Ya Can't smell anything? Older Nate:
[back to his normal voice]
I got no sense of having legs, Dewey! I have no life! I'm dead! Because somebody, I'm not gonna point out names right now, decided to murder me with a machete! Dewey Cox:
Nate... Older Nate:
I can't even smell, touch, feel, I can't even masturbate! You ever tried to jerk off with a ghost hand? Nothing!