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"Watermelon Man" quotes

Watermelon Man poster
An extremely bigoted white man finds out the hard (and somewhat humorous) way what it's like being a black man, firsthand!

Director: Melvin Van Peebles
Writer: Herman Raucher
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 1970
MetaScore: 60/100
ImdbRating: 6.7
BoxOffice: N/A
Released: 27 May 1970
Awards: Nominated for 1 BAFTA Award1 win & 1 nomination total

81 video clips

Delivery ManBus DriverJeff GerberDr. WainwrightEricaAlthea GerberMr. TownsendCountermanAndy BrandonBurton GerberPolicemanDoormanReceptionist
What's your wife's name - Watermelon Man 00:16 What's your wife's name That's an old wives tale - Watermelon Man 00:28 That's an old wives tale Any rioting in the neighborhood last night - Watermelon Man 00:34 Any rioting in the neighborhood last night Where are you going Is there voting now - Watermelon Man 00:34 Where are you going Is there voting now I'm going to bed - Watermelon Man 00:24 I'm going to bed If I didn't know you - Watermelon Man 00:13 If I didn't know you This man says he works for you - Watermelon Man 00:23 This man says he works for you What the hell have you been doing - Watermelon Man 00:14 What the hell have you been doing Was occupied by personable responsible - Watermelon Man 00:05 Was occupied by personable responsible I I guess there'll be a few girls to take up the slack - Watermelon Man 00:29 I I guess there'll be a few girls to take up the... I am not colored - Watermelon Man 00:21 I am not colored What color am I - Watermelon Man 00:37 What color am I W w what happened - Watermelon Man 00:35 W w what happened That guy needs a sun lamp like Fred Astaire needs dancing lessons - Watermelon Man 00:05 That guy needs a sun lamp like Fred Astaire needs dancing... What happened to you man - Watermelon Man 00:24 What happened to you man I vould like to feel de wrath of your switchblade - Watermelon Man 00:11 I vould like to feel de wrath of your switchblade Vhen do I get to see your switchblade - Watermelon Man 00:07 Vhen do I get to see your switchblade What happened to the flaming liberal I was married to - Watermelon Man 00:09 What happened to the flaming liberal I was married to I would like to see Abe Lincoln about this equality bullshit - Watermelon Man 00:06 I would like to see Abe Lincoln about this equality bullshit Hello palefaces Come on girls - Watermelon Man 00:09 Hello palefaces Come on girls I've never been a religious man - Watermelon Man 01:02 I've never been a religious man Oh that's the nicest thing you ever said to me - Watermelon Man 00:26 Oh that's the nicest thing you ever said to me How do you know you're you - Watermelon Man 00:04 How do you know you're you Have something to eat - Watermelon Man 00:09 Have something to eat It is now post time - Watermelon Man 00:09 It is now post time I know you don't go for that sort of thing - Watermelon Man 00:24 I know you don't go for that sort of thing You gorgeous hunk of Sweden Norway - Watermelon Man 00:30 You gorgeous hunk of Sweden Norway You won't be racing the bus today - Watermelon Man 00:07 You won't be racing the bus today Sure is a heck of a tan you got - Watermelon Man 00:15 Sure is a heck of a tan you got I want all the mirrors removed from this house - Watermelon Man 00:07 I want all the mirrors removed from this house That's why they don't want us in these places now - Watermelon Man 00:20 That's why they don't want us in these places now She never came right out and asked me - Watermelon Man 00:43 She never came right out and asked me What's the matter - Watermelon Man 00:29 What's the matter You really think it's the sun lamp - Watermelon Man 00:23 You really think it's the sun lamp Make a list of all those articles that have been stolen - Watermelon Man 00:18 Make a list of all those articles that have been stolen But i don't imagine it would be immediate - Watermelon Man 00:20 But i don't imagine it would be immediate I don't see how it could be the sun lamp - Watermelon Man 00:13 I don't see how it could be the sun lamp Hello Althea - Watermelon Man 00:07 Hello Althea What do you think - Watermelon Man 00:09 What do you think I'm in need of some human affection - Watermelon Man 00:30 I'm in need of some human affection You went higher Now try 80 000 75 000 - Watermelon Man 00:31 You went higher Now try 80 000 75 000 You took advantage of them because you're colored - Watermelon Man 00:20 You took advantage of them because you're colored It's very confusing - Watermelon Man 00:22 It's very confusing I didn't realize you were under as much pressure as me - Watermelon Man 00:39 I didn't realize you were under as much pressure as me Vill I see you tomorrow - Watermelon Man 00:09 Vill I see you tomorrow It's more apt to be something in your family lineage - Watermelon Man 00:20 It's more apt to be something in your family lineage It's no longer a joke - Watermelon Man 00:20 It's no longer a joke Jeff I'm not one of those doctors - Watermelon Man 00:28 Jeff I'm not one of those doctors Your house is worth about 40 - Watermelon Man 00:12 Your house is worth about 40 I'll tell my buddies - Watermelon Man 00:14 I'll tell my buddies There's something I didn't do - Watermelon Man 00:38 There's something I didn't do He's out bailing cotton - Watermelon Man 00:09 He's out bailing cotton You're all arrogant - Watermelon Man 00:14 You're all arrogant Sluts sluts All of you sluts Next thing you know - Watermelon Man 00:09 Sluts sluts All of you sluts Next thing you know Sit down and stop being so damn happy - Watermelon Man 00:05 Sit down and stop being so damn happy Is that all you watch - Watermelon Man 00:26 Is that all you watch Some people save stamps - Watermelon Man 00:09 Some people save stamps 000 on the open market - Watermelon Man 00:09 000 on the open market Will you calm down - Watermelon Man 00:13 Will you calm down I want my whiteness back - Watermelon Man 00:05 I want my whiteness back These creams don't work - Watermelon Man 00:09 These creams don't work Don't i know you from somewhere - Watermelon Man 00:11 Don't i know you from somewhere Hey Jeff You certainly set a good example - Watermelon Man 00:09 Hey Jeff You certainly set a good example There's a negro in your shower - Watermelon Man 00:14 There's a negro in your shower What's goin' on - Watermelon Man 00:09 What's goin' on Mr Gerber Well it ain't soy sauce - Watermelon Man 00:09 Mr Gerber Well it ain't soy sauce There must be some mistake - Watermelon Man 00:10 There must be some mistake Look I tell you what you run back to your office - Watermelon Man 00:21 Look I tell you what you run back to your office Unclean Unclean - Watermelon Man 00:16 Unclean Unclean How did it go today - Watermelon Man 00:12 How did it go today I don't want any trouble - Watermelon Man 00:15 I don't want any trouble Is that supposed to be funny - Watermelon Man 00:54 Is that supposed to be funny Don't be frightened It's just me black Bart - Watermelon Man 00:06 Don't be frightened It's just me black Bart Perhaps we'll bump into each other again some day - Watermelon Man 00:09 Perhaps we'll bump into each other again some day We represent a group of people - Watermelon Man 00:28 We represent a group of people I think this is the best thing for everybody all around - Watermelon Man 00:11 I think this is the best thing for everybody all around They never called me a nigger - Watermelon Man 00:11 They never called me a nigger I hate to tell you this - Watermelon Man 00:51 I hate to tell you this And why do you insist on being negro - Watermelon Man 00:26 And why do you insist on being negro In no time at all - Watermelon Man 00:37 In no time at all The Klu Klux Klan never rings the bell - Watermelon Man 00:05 The Klu Klux Klan never rings the bell

Cast

Jeff Gerber - Godfrey Cambridge
Althea Gerber - Estelle Parsons
Mr. Townsend - Howard Caine
Bus Driver - D'Urville Martin
Counterman - Mantan Moreland
All Cast