I've got the perfect girl for you! Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager...
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Quote
Janice:
I've got the perfect girl for you!
Jeremy Grey:
[sigh]
Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.
Janice:
Okay...
Jeremy Grey:
OK, can you, can you put that so he can't see it? Thank you. Hey, Janice... great talk.
Transcript
00:00:00.289 --> 00:00:02.832
- That's okay.
- No, you're really sweet.
00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:04.668
I've got the perfect girl for you.
00:00:05.544 --> 00:00:07.837
Janice, I apologize to you
if I don't seem real eager...
00:00:08.008 --> 00:00:10.966
...to jump into a forced,
awkward intimate situation...
00:00:11.133 --> 00:00:13.551
...that people like to call dating.
I don't like the feeling.
00:00:13.719 --> 00:00:16.001
You're wondering,
"Do I have food on my face? Am I eating?"
00:00:16.018 --> 00:00:18.223
"Am I talking too much?
Are they talking enough?"
00:00:18.391 --> 00:00:20.791
"Should I play like I'm interested?
I'm not that interested."
00:00:20.893 --> 00:00:23.002
"She might be interested.
Do I want to be interested?"
00:00:23.001 --> 00:00:26.398
"Now she's not interested. So now, all
of sudden, I'm starting to get interested."
00:00:26.565 --> 00:00:28.726
When am I supposed to kiss her?
Do I wait for the door?
00:00:28.734 --> 00:00:31.653
Then it's awkward. It's like, "Good night."
Do you do the ass-out hug?
00:00:31.821 --> 00:00:33.571
Where you, like,
hug each other like this...
00:00:33.739 --> 00:00:35.699
...and the ass sticks out because
you're trying not to get too close.
00:00:35.866 --> 00:00:38.159
Do you kiss them on the lips?
Or don't kiss them at all?
00:00:38.327 --> 00:00:40.003
It's very difficult to read the situation.
00:00:40.246 --> 00:00:42.967
All the while you're wondering,
"Are we gonna get hopped up enough...
00:00:43.001 --> 00:00:44.332
...to make some bad decisions?"
00:00:44.005 --> 00:00:46.793
And perhaps play a little game called
Just the Tip.
00:00:46.961 --> 00:00:48.795
Just for a second,
just to see how it feels.
00:00:48.963 --> 00:00:50.672
Or Ouch, Ouch, You're on My Hair.
00:00:51.215 --> 00:00:52.674
Okay.
00:00:52.842 --> 00:00:55.927
Okay, can you...? Can you put that
so he can't see it? And thank you.
00:00:56.999 --> 00:00:59.055
Hey, Janice. Great talk.
00:01:01.767 --> 00:01:02.809
- John?
- Yeah?
00:01:02.977 --> 00:01:04.657
I gotta see you right away,
it's important.
00:01:06.001 --> 00:01:08.044
What's going on?
00:01:10.999 --> 00:01:12.061
We got three really
big weeks ahead of us.
00:01:13.279 --> 00:01:16.999
- It's wedding season, kid.
- You sandbagging son of a bitch.
00:01:16.907 --> 00:01:18.616
I got us down for 17 of them already.
00:01:18.001 --> 00:01:19.999
Okay, how many are cash bars?
00:01:20.119 --> 00:01:22.996
Great question, love where your head's at,
and two of them actually are.
00:01:23.164 --> 00:01:25.999
But I got us covered.
00:01:27.003 --> 00:01:29.794
Purple Hearts. We won't have
to pay for a drink all night.
00:01:29.962 --> 00:01:31.001
Oh, yeah. Perfect.
00:01:31.714 --> 00:01:34.999
We are gonna have tons of opportunities
to meet gorgeous ladies...
00:01:34.467 --> 00:01:37.001
...that are so aroused by marriage, they'll
throw their inhibitions to the wind.
00:01:37.097 --> 00:01:39.037
Who's gonna be there to catch them?
00:01:39.001 --> 00:01:41.639
Grab that net and catch that
beautiful butterfly, pal.
00:01:41.807 --> 00:01:43.999
What do you like better?
Christmas or wedding season?
00:01:44.143 --> 00:01:47.145
- Mr. Grey.
- Yes, um, the answer would be...
00:01:47.313 --> 00:01:48.813
...wedding season?
00:01:48.999 --> 00:01:52.993
Bingo. I'm gonna go get my suit.
Oh, now, who are we this time?
00:01:58.999 --> 00:02:01.999
Hey, Lou Epstein, I want you to meet
a real mensch, Chuck Schwartz.
00:02:01.494 --> 00:02:02.994
Oh, stop.
00:02:10.001 --> 00:02:14.013
And as we carry on the tradition
of thousands of years...
00:02:14.298 --> 00:02:16.001
...we honor the eternal bond...
00:02:16.001 --> 00:02:18.999
...that stretches through the ages.
00:02:19.637 --> 00:02:22.001
I have known this couple
for many years.
00:02:22.001 --> 00:02:25.999
Deborah I've actually known
for her entire life.
00:02:26.001 --> 00:02:30.999
I was at her house when her parents
brought her home from the hospital...
00:02:30.999 --> 00:02:34.006
...and I was there the day
she graduated from medical school.
00:02:34.001 --> 00:02:36.999
Josh I have known
since his bar mitzvah...
00:02:37.404 --> 00:02:43.999
...which those of you who were there
know it was not a very pretty sight.
00:02:43.369 --> 00:02:46.001
But he has pulled himself
together nicely...
00:02:46.001 --> 00:02:50.625
...and he's grown into a remarkable
young man himself.
00:02:50.001 --> 00:02:52.001
- Okay.
- He never got the courage...
00:02:52.999 --> 00:02:58.001
...to ask her out, until 10 years later,
Josh was in the emergency room...
00:02:58.999 --> 00:03:00.999
...and he saw Deborah again...
00:03:00.636 --> 00:03:02.022
- ...and he said to himself:
- Hi.
00:03:02.001 --> 00:03:05.999
"Wait. That's the girl I'm going to marry."
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I now pronounce you man and wife.
00:03:10.001 --> 00:03:12.999
Mazel tov!
00:03:13.107 --> 00:03:17.001
Mazel tov, baby! From my family
to yours, mazel tov. Beautiful.
00:03:32.003 --> 00:03:33.001
Oh, my yarmulke fell off!
00:03:33.001 --> 00:03:36.999
You sly son of a bitch.
00:03:43.596 --> 00:03:46.008
Does anyone know what
this here is used for?
00:03:46.999 --> 00:03:49.767
- Rolling a fatty.
- No, not for... Where'd you learn that?
00:03:49.935 --> 00:03:51.001
You want to get a whole combination.
00:03:51.001 --> 00:03:53.999
Get the frostings in the middle
and the end.
00:03:55.316 --> 00:03:58.001
That's it, that's it, that's it! Come on!
00:03:58.999 --> 00:04:03.001
You both look beautiful up there today,
particularly Debbie in that white dress.
00:04:03.001 --> 00:04:06.999
Enjoy it. After tomorrow, I don't think
you're gonna be able to get away...
Clip duration: 248 seconds
Views: 1011
Timestamp in movie: 00h 04m 12s
Uploaded: 14 September, 2021
Genres: comedy, romance
Summary: John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey, a pair of committed womanizers who sneak into weddings to take advantage of the romantic tinge in the air, find themselves at odds with one another when John meets and falls for Claire Cleary.
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