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Nicole: Why are you torturing yourself over a ten-second conversation with Chantry that would answer everything? Wallace: It's your wedding day. Can we talk about you? Nicole: Exactly. It's my wedding

Why are you torturing yourself over a ten-second...

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Nicole:
Why are you torturing yourself over a ten-second conversation with Chantry that would answer everything?
Wallace:
It's your wedding day. Can we talk about you?
Nicole:
Exactly. It's my wedding day. As best man, it's your job to keep me calm so that I don't crawl out that window and go and bang a sailor.
Wallace:
Where are you gonna find a sailor?
Nicole:
At the dock.
Nicole:
God, what's the best-case scenario? "Wallace, I love you. Let's have sex forever until we die having sex"?
Wallace:
That is the best-case scenario.
Nicole:
Okay, and what's the worst-case scenario? "Wallace, you shit-drizzling liar. I thought we were friends but, this whole time, you've just been trying to put your junk inside my trunk."
Wallace:
Anything involving the phrase "put your junk inside my trunk" actually would be the worst-case scenario.
Nicole:
Look, the one thing I like about getting married is that you get to stand up in front of everyone you care about and state, for the record, that you believe in the best-case scenario. It terrifies me, but that's why the outfits are so nice.

Transcript:
- So...
- So?
- So?
- What?
Why are you torturing yourself
over a ten-second conversation with
Chantry that would answer everything?
It's your wedding day.
- Can we talk about you?
- Exactly. It's my wedding day.
As best man,
it's your job to keep me calm
so that I don't crawl out that window
and go and bang a sailor.
- Where are you gonna find a sailor?
- At the dock.
God, what's the best-case scenario?
"Wallace, I love you. Let's have sex
forever until we die having sex"?
That is the best-case scenario.
Okay, and what's
the worst-case scenario?
"Wallace, you shit-drizzling liar.
This whole time, you've just been
trying to put yourjunk inside my trunk."
The phrase
"put your junk inside my trunk"
actually would be
the worst-case scenario.
Look, the one thing
I like about getting married
is that you get to stand up
in front of everyone you care about
and state, for the record, that you
believe in the best-case scenario.
It terrifies me,
but that's why the outfits
are so nice.
0K8)'-
- Thanks.
- Cheers.
I got her. She's mine. My wife.
Yeah. Mommy!
I can't believe no one stopped that.
Nice.
And I learned a lot of lessons that night
about gambling addictions
and identity theft
and the Romanian legal system,
but the most important lesson
I learned was from Nicole,
and it was about friendship.
I love you, Nicole.
Oh, so much fun.
Look at you.
You didn't even practice.
- Go, Wallace!
- Go, Wallace!
Thank you, thank you.
To those of us who begrudgingly
call Allan a friend,
it seems impossible that any woman
could handle him for an hour,
let alone a lifetime.
And then you meet Nicole,
and that is the good news here.
If these two can find each other,
then there truly
is somebody for everyone.
The bad news is that one day,
they will procreate,
and their hideous offspring
will obviously cause the Apocalypse.
But tonight,
we celebrate the good news.
I remember the night
Allan and Nicole met,
and that instant connection.
You know, if you're lucky,
it happens once in a lifetime,
and if you're unlucky,
then you have to come to weddings
and hear people like me
talking about it,
and assume that we are all
hopeless romantics.
It's very easy
to be cynical about love,
but this, tonight,
this is hard.
Soto Allan and Nicole,
for making the hard way look easy.
- Cheers!
- To Allan and Nicole.

Clip duration: 189 seconds
Views: 142
Timestamp in movie: 00:46:09
Uploaded: 26 October, 2021
Genres: comedy, romance
Summary: Wallace, who is burned out from a string of failed relationships, forms an instant bond with Chantry, who lives with her longtime boyfriend. Together, they puzzle out what it means if your b... Read all


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