Oh, uh, you don't know how to teleport, do you? No Okay....

Wallace:
Oh, uh, you don't know how to teleport, do you?
Chantry:
No
Wallace:
Okay. Then I apologize for the awkward situation you're about to witness.
[Megan walks up]

Wallace:
Hi. Um, sorry, Chantry, uh, this is Megan, my, urn... Well, my nothing in particular.
Chantry:
Nice to meet you.
Megan:
Wallace, what are you doing here? Are you sick?
Wallace:
No, um, Chantry's boyfriend fell out of a window, but he's okay.
Megan:
Do you want me to look in on him?
Wallace:
No. That won't be necessary.
Megan:
I'm gonna go. We only get 15 minutes to eat lunch. Don't get the bagel with smoked salmon, or the tuna, or anything with seafood. The company that stocks the machine has failed four inspections, but the manager's brother works for the mayor. I'm sorry, I've been on shift for 18 hours and I'm really tired. I had so much coffee, and when I saw her, I thought she was your girlfriend, and that made me want to cry. It's weird I'm saying this out loud, right?
Wallace:
You are, and it is.
Megan:
I just want us to be friends. Not today, but someday. Whatever he said, it wasn't black-and-white...
Chantry:
He hasn't said anything about you. He's never even mentioned you.
Megan:
Um... Okay, uh, it was nice to meet you. I hope your boyfriend feels better.
Chantry:
Thank you.
Wallace:
That was my ex-girlfriend.
Chantry:
Yeah.
Wallace:
Yeah

Transcript:
Ben, Wallace is here.
- Hi.
- Hey, Wallace. How are you?
Hi.
- Sorry.
- No worries.
Let me dry off my hands.
- Thanks for coming by.
- No. Nice to meet you. Thank you.
_ Hey, everybody.
- Hey.
Oh, Wallace, this is my sister, Dalia.
- Nice to--
- So nice to meet you.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- You smell really good.
- Really?
Yeah. Or maybe
it just smells really bad in here, right?
No, he smells great.
But it is getting kind of oniony in here.
- Can someone open the window?
- Yeah, I'll get it.
Right over there.
So, Wallace, I'd like to get
your opinion on something.
- Yeah?
- Europe.
The--? The continent?
- See?
- Is it?
- Is it?
- Yes, it is a cont--
- Is it a continent?
- It is.
He is from that continent,
he should know.
Okay, look at a map, any map,
Europe's not a separate continent,
it's clearly part of Asia.
Right. But, wait, so if Europe isn't
a continent, then why is it a continent?
Because Europeans were the ones
who decided what the continents are,
and they didn't want to get lumped in
with all the, you know, Asians.
Ben is trying to change the world
from the inside out.
Okay? Eurasia.
That's what they should call it.
- Europe plus Asia: Eurasia.
- Okay.
- Who wants more wine?
- I do. Please.
- In my glass.
- Yeah.
And so, Ben, what is it exactly
that you do at the U.N.?
I'm part of an international consortium
of lawyers with a U.N. mandate
to negotiate
global copyright standards.
More importantly, are you trying
to sleep with my girlfriend?
Ben was working late, I don't know,
and Allan invited me...
Don't worry,
we're just talking "guy," okay?
They think we're talking about
international copyright law.
0K8)'-
Now, look, I have no problem with the
concept of Chantry having guy friends,
- but if you're trying to move in--
- No, no, God, I wouldn't do that.
I just want to be friends with her.
And with you.
Friends is fine. Okay?
I can do friends.
But you'd better not try
and put your penis anywhere near her.
- Okay.
- Every country has different laws,
so it's a logistical nightmare, but
I think it's important work, you know?
- I think it's worth it.
- Yeah, that is impressive.
Very impressive.
Oh, shit.
You all right?
- Oh, my God, my eye.
- What is it?
He's just rubbed his eye.
God! My eye. It's really burning.
- Did you cut the jalapeño?
- Yeah, I did.
- Yeah.
- Oh, my...
- Wallace, medical school!
- Shit, it hurts!
Okay, well, do you--? Saline solution.
Do you use contacts?
- I do. It's in the bathroom.
- Ben wears contacts.
- Okay. Where?
- Through that door.
- Yeah.
- Oh, God, that's painful!
- Okay, what can I do, honey?
- God, that burns so badly.
It's on that rag
and it's in my other eye now!
I'm sorry. Just...
Over there!
- Ben? Ben!
- Oh, shit!
_ Oh' m)' God!
' Ben? '
Are you okay?
Okay, don't move. Ben!
- Do something.
- Call 911!
Oh, no!
Okay, stay right there! Don't move!
I'm sorry. You look fine.

Clip duration: 186 seconds
Views: 102
Timestamp in movie: 00:17:48
Uploaded: 26 October, 2021
Genres: comedy, romance
Summary: Wallace, who is burned out from a string of failed relationships, forms an instant bond with Chantry, who lives with her longtime boyfriend. Together, they puzzle out what it means if your b... Read all