Sorry. Um... um... They're new. Dr. Dorfman did an *amazing* job. They feel *so* real. Hi....

[Kevin and Marcus approach the desk at the hotel, disguised as Brittany and Tiffany, respectively. "Brittany"'s fake breasts knock over multiple items on the desk] Kevin Copeland: Sorry. Um... um... They're new. Dr. Dorfman did an *amazing* job. Marcus Copeland: [squeezes "Brittany"'s breast] They feel *so* real. Agent Jake Harper: Hi. I, I, um... I need a credit card, please. And, and some I.D., please. Kevin Copeland: ["Brittany" takes "her" I.D. out of "her" handbag and realizes it has Kevin's information and photo on. "She" quickly thinks and acts offended] Credit card? I.D.? I'm *so* freakin' pissed*! First of all, I go to Dr. Dorf and he totally messes up my nose job. I ask him to make me look like Gwyneth Paltrow... I get off the surgery table looking like freakin' *Shrek*! Then I get *here*, and Mr. *Harper* makes me feel like I'm some dumb blonde with fake boobs going to a Hugh Hefner party! Agent Jake Harper: No, I-I didn't mean to offend you; it's just, it's... it's protocol! Kevin Copeland: I'm gonna have a B.F.! Marcus Copeland: Oh, my God... She's gonna have a bitch fit! Agent Jake Harper: No, no, no, d-d-don't have a-a-a B.F. now. Kevin Copeland: I wanna speak to your supervisor! Better yet, I'm gonna write a letter! Marcus Copeland: [to Harper] You are in *big* trouble! Kevin Copeland: [Agitated, "Brittany" grabs a pen and a sheet of paper and starts writing] Dear... Mr... Royal... Hampton. I... am... a... *white*... woman... in... America. Section Chief Elliott Gordon: [appears] Ladies, is there a problem here? Marcus Copeland, Kevin Copeland: Yes. Agent Jake Harper: No! Sir, no, no, there's... there's no problem. Section Chief Elliott Gordon: These are two of our VIP guests. Issue them keys. Immediately. Agent Jake Harper: [nods nervously] Yes, sir. Marcus Copeland: [to Harper] V. I. P. Learn your acronyms, okay? Kevin Copeland: [to Gordon after he hands the "girls" room cards] What a sweetheart! Section Chief Elliott Gordon: Enjoy your stay. Kevin Copeland: Has anyone ever told you you look *just* like Denzel Washington? Section Chief Elliott Gordon: [laughing] Yeah, actually I have heard it once... or twice. Kevin Copeland: What a beautiful chocolate man! Beautiful! ["Brittany" and "Tiffany" walk away giggling; Gordon and Harper exchange puzzled looks]

THEY'RE NEW. DID AN AMAZING JOB. [laughing] I--I JUST, UH... A-AND SOME I.D., PLEASE. CREDIT CARD? I.D.? I'M SO FRICKIN' PISSED. FIRST OF ALL, I GO TO DR. DORFMAN. MESSES UP MY NOSE JOB. LOOK LIKE GWYNETH PALTROW. LOOKING LIKE FRICKIN' SHREK. AND MR. HARPER WITH FAKE BOOBS A HUGH HEFNER PARTY. TO OFFEND YOU. I'M GOING TO HAVE A B.F. TO HAVE A BITCH FIT. OH! HAVE A--A--A B.F. NOW-- TO YOUR SUPERVISOR. TO WRITE A LETTER. YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE. "DEAR MR. ROYAL HAMPTON, "I AM A WHITE WOMAN LADIES? IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE? YES. THERE'S NO PROBLEM. I-- OF OUR V.I.P. GUESTS. IMMEDIATELY, HMM? YES, SIR. LEARN YOUR ACRONYMS. ENJOY YOUR STAY. DENZEL WASHINGTON? [Chief tittering] HEARD IT ONCE OR TWICE. CHOCOLATE MAN. [laughs] BEAUTIFUL. OH MY GOD. YEAH. [chattter, exclaiming] I DON'T KNOW. JUST ACT FRIENDLY. [girls hooting] MY GOD. HI. LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW US. KAREN? LISA? TORI? OH, MY GOD! UH, DUH! IN FOREVER. A YEAR. DIFFERENT TO YOUR HAIR? NO. YOU GAIN WEIGHT? NO. YOU JUST HAD A BIRTHDAY. YEAH. I KNEW IT. NO, WAIT A MINUTE.