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Whitney Cummings: Jokes

Be like, "Mom, I wanna go to McDonald's." She'll be like,"Sorry, baby, it's closed."...

Be like, "Mom, I wanna go to McDonald's." She'll be like,
"Sorry, baby, it's closed." "Bitch, that's a 24-hour McDonald's." "And if you don't take me right now,
I will tweet that you molest me." "So… your move, baby girl." "Your move." [giggles]

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.585
Be like, "Mom, I wanna go to McDonald's."
00:00:02.668 --> 00:00:04.879
She'll be like, "Sorry, baby, it's closed."
00:00:07.084 --> 00:00:11.093
"Bitch, that's a 24-hour McDonald's."
00:00:11.844 --> 00:00:16.001
"And if you don't take me right now, I will tweet that you molest me."
00:00:16.999 --> 00:00:20.186
"So… your move, baby girl."
00:00:20.978 --> 00:00:23.481
"Your move." [giggles]
Duration
23 seconds
Views
19
Timestamp in Movie
00:42:43
Uploaded
May 03, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Plot under wraps.
I've just heard every argument, and I feel like it's a little overblown. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
I've just heard every argument, and I feel like it'...
What I hear is about how kids, all they do is take pictures of themselves. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:04
What I hear is about how kids, all they do is take pictures ...
"They just take pictures of themselves, they take selfies all day long." - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
"They just take pictures of themselves, they take selfi...
We're just jealous, I think we're jealous - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
We're just jealous, I think we're jealous
It was called "Photo Day." - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:19
It was called "Photo Day."
They'd be like, "All right, say cheese!" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:11
They'd be like, "All right, say cheese!"
We got eight sizes of the same shitty photo. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:08
We got eight sizes of the same shitty photo.
I remember being with my mom in the Walmart frame section, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
I remember being with my mom in the Walmart frame section,
She's like, "What's this one? What is this, a 9x1?" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:14
She's like, "What's this one? What is this, a...
I think we have to use critical thinking on this stuff, you know? - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
I think we have to use critical thinking on this stuff, you ...
I know it's insensitive sometimes to say, but people will be like, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:16
I know it's insensitive sometimes to say, but people wi...
I've never seen myself before because I fried my retina - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:09
I've never seen myself before because I fried my retina
It was the red frame with all the little needles in it, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:10
It was the red frame with all the little needles in it,
[laughter and applause] - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:12
[laughter and applause]
You can't let kids get bored, and when kids get bored, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
You can't let kids get bored, and when kids get bored,
Like before phones, for our main form of amusement, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
Like before phones, for our main form of amusement,
You know some bad ideas are gonna bubble up at some point. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
You know some bad ideas are gonna bubble up at some point.
Twenty minutes in, we'd be like, "Oh, my God!" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:19
Twenty minutes in, we'd be like, "Oh, my God!"...
Um… - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:08
Um…
They'll come up to me, like, "What did your parents think of all that?" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
They'll come up to me, like, "What did your parent...