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Whitney Cummings: Jokes

I was like, "Not tonight, side table.Not tonight." "Coffee table looking at melike I'm a...

I was like, "Not tonight, side table.
Not tonight." "Coffee table looking at me
like I'm a snack, no way." [laughs] So I was able to delete it

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.067
I was like, "Not tonight, side table. Not tonight."
00:00:05.921 --> 00:00:09.999
"Coffee table looking at me like I'm a snack, no way."
00:00:09.175 --> 00:00:10.885
[laughs]
00:00:10.968 --> 00:00:12.678
So I was able to delete it.
Duration
13 seconds
Views
25
Timestamp in Movie
00:27:45
Uploaded
May 03, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Plot under wraps.
Three months later, I get this very cryptic email - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
Three months later, I get this very cryptic email
I open it, and it was a guy who was trying to extort me. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:04
I open it, and it was a guy who was trying to extort me.
He goes, "If you don't give me $10,000, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:16
He goes, "If you don't give me $10,000,
Um… - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:11
Um…
And on a bit of a serious note, if you guys saw my last special, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:13
And on a bit of a serious note, if you guys saw my last spec...
I said all that before I had seen titties from this angle. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:04
I said all that before I had seen titties from this angle.
Uh, nobody told me, no matter how perky your tits are, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
Uh, nobody told me, no matter how perky your tits are,
Like traffic cones where someone kicked in the side of the… - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:08
Like traffic cones where someone kicked in the side of the…...
I had seen a glimpse of myself having doggie-style sex in a mirror before, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:10
I had seen a glimpse of myself having doggie-style sex in a ...
And I know on my last special I talked about having fake boobs, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
And I know on my last special I talked about having fake boo...
You thought they'd stay cute, they don't. They get long and pointy and weird. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:04
You thought they'd stay cute, they don't. They get...
And the only real difference between fake boobs and real boobs - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:08
And the only real difference between fake boobs and real boo...
They're like, "Bitch, I did my job. Peace!" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:09
They're like, "Bitch, I did my job. Peace!"
The first time I lied down naked in front of him, he literally-- - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:10
The first time I lied down naked in front of him, he literal...
I would say, "What?" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:04
I would say, "What?"
It's very… - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
It's very…
And, uh… - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:06
And, uh…
My favorite prank used to be when I would hook up with a guy for the first time, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:17
My favorite prank used to be when I would hook up with a guy...
Um… - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
Um…
So I was like, "Oh, God, this is such an ethical dilemma." - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:14
So I was like, "Oh, God, this is such an ethical dilemm...