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I've never seen myself before because I fried my retina
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Whitney Cummings: Jokes

I've never seen myself beforebecause I fried my retina on the surface of the fuckin' sun,...

I've never seen myself before
because I fried my retina on the surface of the fuckin' sun, 'cause that was the only way
to get a selfie back in my day

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.092
I've never seen myself before because I fried my retina
00:00:04.001 --> 00:00:05.088
on the surface of the fuckin' sun,
00:00:05.963 --> 00:00:09.217
'cause that was the only way to get a selfie back in my day.
Duration
9 seconds
Views
18
Timestamp in Movie
00:45:00
Uploaded
May 03, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Plot under wraps.
It was the red frame with all the little needles in it, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:10
It was the red frame with all the little needles in it,
[laughter and applause] - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:12
[laughter and applause]
You can't let kids get bored, and when kids get bored, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
You can't let kids get bored, and when kids get bored,
Like before phones, for our main form of amusement, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
Like before phones, for our main form of amusement,
You know some bad ideas are gonna bubble up at some point. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
You know some bad ideas are gonna bubble up at some point.
Twenty minutes in, we'd be like, "Oh, my God!" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:19
Twenty minutes in, we'd be like, "Oh, my God!"...
Um… - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:08
Um…
They'll come up to me, like, "What did your parents think of all that?" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
They'll come up to me, like, "What did your parent...
My mom used to say to my face, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:10
My mom used to say to my face,
Gets dark, and they're like, "Fuck, it's dark!" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
Gets dark, and they're like, "Fuck, it's dark...
"This happens every night! It's always a surprise!" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
"This happens every night! It's always a surprise!...
And then we would just have to Blair Witch Project our way home. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
And then we would just have to Blair Witch Project our way h...
Eventually we'd find a pay phone, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:07
Eventually we'd find a pay phone,
You call your mom and you'd be like, "You have a collect call from--" - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:14
You call your mom and you'd be like, "You have a c...
It's wild to think about because even when our parents were with us, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:05
It's wild to think about because even when our parents ...
My mom used to take me to birthday parties every Sunday, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:08
My mom used to take me to birthday parties every Sunday,
[laughter] - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:10
[laughter]
And I remember, even as a kid, I always thought that shit was sketchy. - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:04
And I remember, even as a kid, I always thought that shit wa...
I was like, "I'm just a kid and I don't know anything about math, - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:16
I was like, "I'm just a kid and I don't know ...
There was always that bully kid who was, like, hiding in the corner - Whitney Cummings: Jokes 00:09
There was always that bully kid who was, like, hiding in the...