Oh, but I do!
Join the conversation
Log in or create an account to leave a comment
Log In
Capt. James West:
Gordon, what's your plan for getting this thing off my neck? Artemus Gordon:
Excuse me? Capt. James West:
Well, that's what you're here for, right? You're the master of this mechanical stuff. Artemus Gordon:
[chuckling maniacally]
Oh ho ho, I see. *Now* I'm the "master of this mechanical stuff." As opposed to five minutes ago, when I was calmly and coolly trying to find a solution to this very problem. But then something happened. Someone, who will remain nameless... [throws back his head and shouts] Artemus Gordon:
JIM WEST! ["Jim West" echoes through the canyon] Artemus Gordon:
...decided to jump over the wire, thereby providing us with that exhilarating romp through the cornfield, and that death-defying leap into the abysmal muck! And here we stand, with that demented maniac hurtling towards our President, with our one and only means of transportation, with Rita as his prisoner, armed with God-knows-what machinery of mass destruction, with the simple intention of overthrowing our government and taking over the country! Capt. James West:
Gordon, I think you need to calm down. Artemus Gordon:
I can't be calm! Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm the "Master of the Mechanical Stuff"! And I have to help you! You, the master of the STUPID STUFF! You want to get your collar off? I'll get it off! [waves his empty hand] Artemus Gordon:
I don't have a gun, otherwise I'd shoot it off! [grabs a rock] Artemus Gordon:
Here, here's something! In the true Jim West style, I'll just bash it with a rock! Capt. James West:
Gordon, you don't want to do that... Artemus Gordon:
Oh, but I do! [does so]
Gordon, what's your plan for getting this thing off my neck? Artemus Gordon:
Excuse me? Capt. James West:
Well, that's what you're here for, right? You're the master of this mechanical stuff. Artemus Gordon:
[chuckling maniacally]
Oh ho ho, I see. *Now* I'm the "master of this mechanical stuff." As opposed to five minutes ago, when I was calmly and coolly trying to find a solution to this very problem. But then something happened. Someone, who will remain nameless... [throws back his head and shouts] Artemus Gordon:
JIM WEST! ["Jim West" echoes through the canyon] Artemus Gordon:
...decided to jump over the wire, thereby providing us with that exhilarating romp through the cornfield, and that death-defying leap into the abysmal muck! And here we stand, with that demented maniac hurtling towards our President, with our one and only means of transportation, with Rita as his prisoner, armed with God-knows-what machinery of mass destruction, with the simple intention of overthrowing our government and taking over the country! Capt. James West:
Gordon, I think you need to calm down. Artemus Gordon:
I can't be calm! Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm the "Master of the Mechanical Stuff"! And I have to help you! You, the master of the STUPID STUFF! You want to get your collar off? I'll get it off! [waves his empty hand] Artemus Gordon:
I don't have a gun, otherwise I'd shoot it off! [grabs a rock] Artemus Gordon:
Here, here's something! In the true Jim West style, I'll just bash it with a rock! Capt. James West:
Gordon, you don't want to do that... Artemus Gordon:
Oh, but I do! [does so]
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.917
Gordon let's ride
00:00:03.711 --> 00:00:05.128
You do know how to ride
00:00:05.337 --> 00:00:07.547
Yes I know how to ride A horse
00:00:07.798 --> 00:00:09.632
Yes when something primitive is called for
00:00:09.842 --> 00:00:12.677
How about now A giant spider's stomping toward our President
00:00:13.387 --> 00:00:14.888
I was thinking of another spider
00:00:15.806 --> 00:00:18.475
Remember when that wasp destroyed the tarantula
00:00:18.726 --> 00:00:21.561
The wasp had a slight advantage It could fly
00:00:22.688 --> 00:00:24.999
Exactly
00:00:24.044 --> 00:00:29.011
In 1540 Leonardo da Vinci designed a flying machine but never finished it
00:00:29.361 --> 00:00:32.405
With some extrapolation and a bit of imagination I've
00:00:32.656 --> 00:00:35.095
We don't have time for your plans or half baked inventions
Want This Clip in HD?
Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →
Movie Summary
The two best special agents in the Wild West must save President Grant from the clutches of a diabolical, wheelchair-bound, steampunk-savvy, Confederate scientist bent on revenge for losing the Civil War.
