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"Withnail & I" quotes

Withnail & I poster
In 1969, two substance-abusing, unemployed actors retreat to the countryside for a holiday that proves disastrous.

Director: Bruce Robinson
Writer: Bruce Robinson
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, drama
Year: 1987
MetaScore: 84/100
ImdbRating: 7.6
BoxOffice: $1,544,889
Released: 19 Jun 1987
Awards: 1 win & 1 nomination

137 video clips

WithnailDannyMontyIrishmanIsaac ParkinPoliceman 2WaitressTea Shop ProprietorJakeMrs. ParkinGeneralPoliceman 1
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I have of late but wherefore I know not - Withnail & I 00:37 I have of late but wherefore I know not Listen to this Curse of the Supermen - Withnail & I 00:34 Listen to this Curse of the Supermen I might fetch you up a rabbit - Withnail & I 00:35 I might fetch you up a rabbit Hm The carrot has mystery - Withnail & I 00:37 Hm The carrot has mystery Marwood off 13 million Londoners have to wake up to this - Withnail & I 00:17 Marwood off 13 million Londoners have to wake up to this Withnail Are you the farmer - Withnail & I 00:18 Withnail Are you the farmer How should I know I feel like a pig shat on my head - Withnail & I 00:05 How should I know I feel like a pig shat on my head Balls We want the finest wines available to humanity - Withnail & I 00:07 Balls We want the finest wines available to humanity I mean free to those that can afford it and very expensive to those who can't - Withnail & I 00:06 I mean free to those that can afford it and very expensive... Right you fucker I'm gonna do the washing up - Withnail & I 00:47 Right you fucker I'm gonna do the washing up I don't advise a haircut man - Withnail & I 00:25 I don't advise a haircut man All right This is the plan - Withnail & I 00:18 All right This is the plan Withnail Look at that Look at that - Withnail & I 00:20 Withnail Look at that Look at that I must have some booze - Withnail & I 00:16 I must have some booze What about him - Withnail & I 00:32 What about him He's going into your room - Withnail & I 00:46 He's going into your room Marwood off Even a stopped clock gives the right time - Withnail & I 00:27 Marwood off Even a stopped clock gives the right time The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman - Withnail & I 00:27 The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman There's one over there that doesn't like the perfume The big one - Withnail & I 01:05 There's one over there that doesn't like the... Do you like vegetables - Withnail & I 00:51 Do you like vegetables Don't get uptight with me - Withnail & I 00:39 Don't get uptight with me If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money - Withnail & I 00:11 If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money This place is uninhabitable - Withnail & I 00:18 This place is uninhabitable Time gents please - Withnail & I 00:15 Time gents please Marwood trembling off I could hardly piss straight with fear - Withnail & I 00:35 Marwood trembling off I could hardly piss straight with fear Oh look at this little bastard - Withnail & I 00:20 Oh look at this little bastard Yeah my partner's got a really good idea for making dolls - Withnail & I 00:30 Yeah my partner's got a really good idea for making... This is ridiculous - Withnail & I 00:38 This is ridiculous Marwood off Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without - Withnail & I 00:34 Marwood off Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights... I wouldn't drink that if I were you - Withnail & I 00:41 I wouldn't drink that if I were you I've just narrowly avoided having a buggering - Withnail & I 00:09 I've just narrowly avoided having a buggering It's true I crept the boards in my youth - Withnail & I 01:13 It's true I crept the boards in my youth Grab its ring Keep your bag up - Withnail & I 00:56 Grab its ring Keep your bag up Right Now we're going to have to approach this scientifically - Withnail & I 00:30 Right Now we're going to have to approach this... Scrubbers - Withnail & I 00:15 Scrubbers I recommend you smoke some more grass - Withnail & I 01:02 I recommend you smoke some more grass Have you got some soup - Withnail & I 00:46 Have you got some soup What is it What have you found - Withnail & I 00:08 What is it What have you found Tell him if you must I no longer care - Withnail & I 00:14 Tell him if you must I no longer care You're not leaving me in here alone - Withnail & I 00:14 You're not leaving me in here alone We want them here and we want them now - Withnail & I 01:05 We want them here and we want them now Marwood Gimme a downer Danny My brain's capsizing I've - Withnail & I 00:34 Marwood Gimme a downer Danny My brain's capsizing... Has he just been busted - Withnail & I 00:17 Has he just been busted Listen I pay you 10 percent to do that - Withnail & I 00:25 Listen I pay you 10 percent to do that I think we've been in here too long - Withnail & I 00:13 I think we've been in here too long Oh Christ Almighty - Withnail & I 00:29 Oh Christ Almighty What are we supposed to do with that - Withnail & I 00:51 What are we supposed to do with that With this far out looking hat - Withnail & I 00:21 With this far out looking hat Withnail I've some extremely distressing news - Withnail & I 00:35 Withnail I've some extremely distressing news Bastards - Withnail & I 00:18 Bastards How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack - Withnail & I 00:48 How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack I'm a trained actor reduced to the state of a bum - Withnail & I 00:12 I'm a trained actor reduced to the state of a bum Jesus look at that - Withnail & I 00:21 Jesus look at that Monty Beastly little parasite - Withnail & I 00:21 Monty Beastly little parasite Look here my cousin's a Q C - Withnail & I 00:08 Look here my cousin's a Q C The old order changeth - Withnail & I 00:56 The old order changeth Poor old bastard - Withnail & I 00:17 Poor old bastard Here hare here - Withnail & I 00:11 Here hare here What's going on - Withnail & I 00:10 What's going on I got a bastard behind the eyes - Withnail & I 00:10 I got a bastard behind the eyes It's all your fault - Withnail & I 00:32 It's all your fault You shouldn't treat each other so badly - Withnail & I 00:32 You shouldn't treat each other so badly How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader - Withnail & I 00:30 How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader Here comes another fucker - Withnail & I 00:08 Here comes another fucker Danny Where exactly have you two been - Withnail & I 00:22 Danny Where exactly have you two been Withnail At some point or another I wanna stop and get hold - Withnail & I 00:46 Withnail At some point or another I wanna stop and get hold VVegetables again We'll sprout fucking feelers soon - Withnail & I 00:29 VVegetables again We'll sprout fucking feelers soon I can never touch meat until it's cooked - Withnail & I 00:16 I can never touch meat until it's cooked Get your kit together We're leaving in half an hour - Withnail & I 00:09 Get your kit together We're leaving in half an hour Jesus you're covered in shit - Withnail & I 00:13 Jesus you're covered in shit Listen I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative - Withnail & I 00:25 Listen I know what you're thinking but I had no... What happened to your cigar commercial - Withnail & I 00:10 What happened to your cigar commercial Withnail There must and shall be aspirin - Withnail & I 00:11 Withnail There must and shall be aspirin I'll say one thing for Monty - Withnail & I 00:07 I'll say one thing for Monty You can stuff it up your arse for nothing - Withnail & I 00:08 You can stuff it up your arse for nothing You know what we should do - Withnail & I 00:19 You know what we should do No Phone - Withnail & I 00:07 No Phone Don't vent spleen on me I'm in the same boat - Withnail & I 00:15 Don't vent spleen on me I'm in the same boat Monty indeed I remember my first agent - Withnail & I 00:28 Monty indeed I remember my first agent Get that damned swine out of here - Withnail & I 00:25 Get that damned swine out of here What do you want - Withnail & I 00:45 What do you want What happened to your leg - Withnail & I 00:15 What happened to your leg I'm preparing myself to forgive you - Withnail & I 00:07 I'm preparing myself to forgive you Monty Laisse moi respirer - Withnail & I 00:31 Monty Laisse moi respirer And have another look in that shed Find anything - Withnail & I 00:18 And have another look in that shed Find anything A coward you are and expert on bulls you are not - Withnail & I 00:15 A coward you are and expert on bulls you are not I think a drink don't you - Withnail & I 00:12 I think a drink don't you Excuse me - Withnail & I 00:31 Excuse me Come on lads let's get home The sky's beginning to bruise - Withnail & I 00:18 Come on lads let's get home The sky's beginning to...
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Cast

Withnail - Richard E. Grant
... & I - Paul McGann
Monty - Richard Griffiths
Danny - Ralph Brown
Jake - Michael Elphick
All Cast