If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. It was like walking into a lung. A...
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Quote
Marwood:
[voiceover]
If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. It was like walking into a lung. A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock.
[the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]
General:
Thought I was going for a minute. But no man's put me down yet. Have you had any training in the martial arts?
Withnail:
Yes, as a matter of fact I have. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials.
General:
Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. You can never, never disguise it.
Withnail:
What were you in?
General:
Tanks. Afrika Korps. A little before your time. Don't suppose you've engaged, have you?
Withnail:
Ireland.
General:
Oooh, a crack at the Mick?
Withnail:
We'll have another pair of large scotches.
General:
These shall be my pleasure.
[he pours their drinks]
General:
What are you doing up here, then?
Withnail:
We're doing a feature for Country Life. Survey of rural types. You know, farmers, travelling tinkers, milkmen, that sort of thing.
General:
Have you met Jake? Poacher. Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hm?
[they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]
Marwood:
What's all this army bollocks?
Withnail:
We got a drink, didn't we?
Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.044
Hm The carrot has mystery
00:00:04.128 --> 00:00:06.963
Flowers are essentially tarts
00:00:07.048 --> 00:00:10.759
Prostitutes for the bees
00:00:10.843 --> 00:00:14.763
There is you will agree a certain je nes c'cst quoi
00:00:14.847 --> 00:00:19.001
oh so very special about a firm young carrot
00:00:19.143 --> 00:00:21.144
Hm Excuse me
00:00:21.228 --> 00:00:24.689
Do help yourselves to another drink
00:00:24.774 --> 00:00:26.733
What's all this The man's mad
00:00:26.817 --> 00:00:27.942
Eccentric
00:00:28.001 --> 00:00:29.569
Eccentric He's insane
00:00:29.653 --> 00:00:32.113
Not only that he's a raving homosexual
00:00:32.198 --> 00:00:33.074
cat growls
00:00:33.824 --> 00:00:35.742
Monty Beastly little parasite
Clip duration: 37 seconds
Views: 157
Timestamp in movie: 00h 24m 34s
Uploaded: 04 April, 2022
Genres: comedy, drama
Summary: In 1969, two substance-abusing, unemployed actors retreat to the countryside for a holiday that proves disastrous.
Comments
Actors
00:34 I had to come I tried not to
00:19 Law rather appeals to me actually
00:13 Danny You're looking very beautiful man
00:06 We're bona fide We're not from London
00:13 Panting My thumbs have gone weird
00:28 Bastard asked me to understudy Constantine in the Sea Gull
00:22 There can be no true beauty without decay
00:28 Do you realise this gaff's over run with rodents
00:09 Withnail Fancy that silage heap hanging around up here
00:07 Big man Perfumed ponce
00:23 A bit early in the morning for festivities isn't it
00:12 Where is he
00:07 Gimme a Valium I'm getting the fear
00:22 Danny You have done something to your brain
00:18 Who is the huge spade in the bath
00:13 Don't threaten me with a dead fish
00:17 Marwood off 13 million Londoners have to wake up to this
00:24 I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose
00:13 Look at my tongue
00:04 Chin chin