At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. What do you want a child...
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Quote
Withnail:
At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child.
Marwood:
What do you want a child for?
Withnail:
To tutor it in the ways of righteousness, and procure some uncontaminated urine.
[holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube]
Withnail:
This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. Danny's a genius.
Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.629
At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child
00:00:04.737 --> 00:00:06.637
What do you want a child for
00:00:06.739 --> 00:00:08.866
To tutor it in the ways of righteousness
00:00:08.974 --> 00:00:11.272
and procure some uncontaminated urine
00:00:11.377 --> 00:00:15.711
This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety
00:00:15.814 --> 00:00:20.717
You fill this with piss take this pipe down the trouser
00:00:20.819 --> 00:00:24.983
and cellotape this valve to the end of the old chap
00:00:25.009 --> 00:00:28.958
Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you
00:00:29.061 --> 00:00:32.997
According to these instructions
00:00:32.164 --> 00:00:35.224
you refuse everything but a urine sample
00:00:35.334 --> 00:00:38.064
You undo your valve
00:00:38.017 --> 00:00:41.765
and give 'em a dose of unadulterated child's piss
00:00:41.874 --> 00:00:44.009
and they have to give you your keys back
Clip duration: 46 seconds
Views: 120
Timestamp in movie: 00h 30m 58s
Uploaded: 30 November, 2022
Genres: comedy, drama
Summary: In 1969, two substance-abusing, unemployed actors retreat to the countryside for a holiday that proves disastrous.
Comments
Actors
00:16 I can never touch meat until it's cooked
00:09 Get your kit together We're leaving in half an hour
00:13 Jesus you're covered in shit
00:10 What happened to your cigar commercial
00:11 Withnail There must and shall be aspirin
00:07 I'll say one thing for Monty
00:08 You can stuff it up your arse for nothing
00:19 You know what we should do
00:07 No Phone
00:15 Don't vent spleen on me I'm in the same boat
00:28 Monty indeed I remember my first agent
00:15 What happened to your leg
00:32 It's all your fault
00:07 I'm preparing myself to forgive you
00:31 Monty Laisse moi respirer
00:32 You shouldn't treat each other so badly
00:30 How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader
00:08 Here comes another fucker
00:22 Danny Where exactly have you two been
00:18 And have another look in that shed Find anything