This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. You fill this...
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Withnail:
At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Marwood:
What do you want a child for? Withnail:
To tutor it in the ways of righteousness, and procure some uncontaminated urine. [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube] Withnail:
This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. Danny's a genius
At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Marwood:
What do you want a child for? Withnail:
To tutor it in the ways of righteousness, and procure some uncontaminated urine. [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube] Withnail:
This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. Danny's a genius
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.629
At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child
00:00:04.737 --> 00:00:06.637
What do you want a child for
00:00:06.739 --> 00:00:08.866
To tutor it in the ways of righteousness
00:00:08.974 --> 00:00:11.272
and procure some uncontaminated urine
00:00:11.377 --> 00:00:15.711
This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety
00:00:15.814 --> 00:00:20.717
You fill this with piss take this pipe down the trouser
00:00:20.819 --> 00:00:24.983
and cellotape this valve to the end of the old chap
00:00:25.009 --> 00:00:28.958
Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you
00:00:29.061 --> 00:00:32.997
According to these instructions
00:00:32.164 --> 00:00:35.224
you refuse everything but a urine sample
00:00:35.334 --> 00:00:38.064
You undo your valve
00:00:38.017 --> 00:00:41.765
and give 'em a dose of unadulterated child's piss
00:00:41.874 --> 00:00:44.009
and they have to give you your keys back
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Movie Summary
In 1969, two substance-abusing, unemployed actors retreat to the countryside for a holiday that proves disastrous.
Actors
Withnail
