Asparagus

Stewart Swinton:

[Will enters the bathroom]
Will. I was just about to come see you, tell you I talked to Alden about the senior consultant position. It's yours if you want it. It's less pay, of course, but so is Eastern Europe. Will Randall:
Well, thank you, Stewart, but I've had a better offer. Stewart Swinton:
Really? That's wonderful. What house? Will Randall:
This one. [Shows him the contract] Stewart Swinton:
I don't... I don't understand. Will Randall:
It's fairly simple. I did the same thing you did. I nagged Alden until he gave me your job. Stewart Swinton:
When? I don't understand. When? Will Randall:
In my spare time. I've had a lot of it lately. Stewart Swinton:
Well.. I guess .. I mean, I guess I owe you some congratulations. I guess the best man won. Shit, I'm glad, in a way. I mean I couldn't have given it up and I didn't like the way I got it. I hope we can work together without rancor. Will Randall:
[Unzipping his pants to urinate]
You're fired, Stewart. Stewart Swinton:
Don't do it to me, Will. It'll ruin me Will Randall:
I know. But it's best for the firm. Stewart Swinton:
Give me a few months. Let me say I quit. Will Randall:
No. It wouldn't be best for the firm. Stewart Swinton:
You vindictive son of a bitch! The best thing for the firm is me. I'm the best thing this firm has, and you fucking know it. This is fucking [Will urinates on his shoes] Stewart Swinton:
what are you crazy? Will Randall:
No. I'm just marking my territory, and you got in the way. Stewart Swinton:
Jesus. [Takes seveeal paper towels from the dispenser and wipes his shoes] Stewart Swinton:
Nice. Real nice [as he walks out of the bathroom] Stewart Swinton:
Suede shoes Will Randall:
Asparagus