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"You Don't Mess with the Zohan" quotes

You Don't Mess with the Zohan poster
An Israeli Special Forces Soldier fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist.

Director: Dennis Dugan
Writer: Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel, Judd Apatow
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 2008
MetaScore: 54/100
ImdbRating: 5.6
BoxOffice: $100,018,837
Released: 06 Jun 2008
Awards: 2 wins & 2 nominations

85 video clips

MichaelZohanSalimDaliaGailNasiOoriHamdiClaudeLimousine PassengerDannyBusiness Man #1Business Man #2Business Man #3AharonAfrican American Salon OwnerPhantomZohan's FatherJamesJohn McenroeHacky Sack Tournament Celebrity JudgeTaxi Driver
What are you bionic - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:10 What are you bionic Young man look what I found here - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:30 Young man look what I found here Don't worry Zohan I tell you they don't recognize you - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:06 Don't worry Zohan I tell you they don't recognize... I have betrayed my salon - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:17 I have betrayed my salon You've caught so many terrorists it's an art - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:07 You've caught so many terrorists it's an art You the mensch - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:22 You the mensch First time in New York Yes my friend - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:30 First time in New York Yes my friend Okay okay okay What you want huh - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:48 Okay okay okay What you want huh I just want to make people silky smooth - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:05 I just want to make people silky smooth It is you - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:22 It is you Well Australia it must be really nice there - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:07 Well Australia it must be really nice there Really He's usually as hard as trigonometry - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:06 Really He's usually as hard as trigonometry People don't like us - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:11 People don't like us Can I just say that I don't like most rich people but you get it - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:06 Can I just say that I don't like most rich people but... You don't mess with the Zohan Check it - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:08 You don't mess with the Zohan Check it I spoke to the manager of Going Out Of Business again yesterday - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:23 I spoke to the manager of Going Out Of Business again... You ever cut a sister's hair before - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:21 You ever cut a sister's hair before And this is your Palestinian wife - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:21 And this is your Palestinian wife It's Neosporin it's nothing I use it for cuts and genital sores - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:14 It's Neosporin it's nothing I use it for cuts and... Zohan He has a bomb - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:17 Zohan He has a bomb Unbelievable - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:06 Unbelievable Once you start in electronics store you never get out - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:07 Once you start in electronics store you never get out One woman - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:10 One woman He told us You wanna get some people out your building - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:30 He told us You wanna get some people out your building I could look for clues It's my shift for community night watch - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:10 I could look for clues It's my shift for community... So let's go - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:06 So let's go Why you do this I feel no pain - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:10 Why you do this I feel no pain And you are a stupid cow - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:06 And you are a stupid cow What's with the cheers Wasn't that guy a terrorist - You Don't Mess with the Zohan 00:13 What's with the cheers Wasn't that guy a terrorist Come on let's go - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Come on let's go You don't giggle at the Zohan - You Don't Mess with the Zohan You don't giggle at the Zohan And you are a stupid cow - You Don't Mess with the Zohan And you are a stupid cow And this is your Palestinian wife - You Don't Mess with the Zohan And this is your Palestinian wife Come on, Scrappy! - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Come on, Scrappy! - Disco, disco. - Good, good! - You Don't Mess with the Zohan - Disco, disco. - Good, good! First time in New York Yes my friend - You Don't Mess with the Zohan First time in New York Yes my friend Goal! - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Goal! Goat rides! Everybody, goat ride. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Goat rides! Everybody, goat ride. He told us You wanna get some people out your building - You Don't Mess with the Zohan He told us You wanna get some people out your building - Hey, you forgot these. - Those are for you, my friend. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan - Hey, you forgot these. - Those are for you, my friend. I get it, I get it, you guys don't like our country. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan I get it, I get it, you guys don't like our country. I just want to make people silky smooth. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan I just want to make people silky smooth. I just want to make people silky smooth - You Don't Mess with the Zohan I just want to make people silky smooth I love it. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan I love it. I spoke to the manager of Going Out Of Business again yesterday - You Don't Mess with the Zohan I spoke to the manager of Going Out Of Business again... I'm not in much of a hurry. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan I'm not in much of a hurry. I'm sorry it didn't work out. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan I'm sorry it didn't work out. It is you - You Don't Mess with the Zohan It is you It's all about not getting recognized. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan It's all about not getting recognized. It's Neosporin it's nothing I use it for cuts and genital sores - You Don't Mess with the Zohan It's Neosporin it's nothing I use it for cuts and... Ladies and gentlemen, here are your Israeli Blue Stars... - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Ladies and gentlemen, here are your Israeli Blue Stars... Listen, I'm Grant Walbridge. This is all a mistake and... - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Listen, I'm Grant Walbridge. This is all a mistake and.... Look, look, look. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Look, look, look. No feathering! - You Don't Mess with the Zohan No feathering! Okay okay okay What you want huh - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Okay okay okay What you want huh Once you start in electronics store you never get out - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Once you start in electronics store you never get out One woman - You Don't Mess with the Zohan One woman People don't like us - You Don't Mess with the Zohan People don't like us Rafaela's Salon. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Rafaela's Salon. So let's go - You Don't Mess with the Zohan So let's go Take care, Mrs. Paulson. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Take care, Mrs. Paulson. The terrorist known as Phantom... - You Don't Mess with the Zohan The terrorist known as Phantom... The Zohan. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan The Zohan. Unbelievable - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Unbelievable Well Australia it must be really nice there - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Well Australia it must be really nice there Well, hello, stranger. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Well, hello, stranger. Well, then, at least it's a good time to shave his neck. I would get him quick. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Well, then, at least it's a good time to shave his neck... What are you bionic - You Don't Mess with the Zohan What are you bionic What I miss! I was stuck on West Broadway. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan What I miss! I was stuck on West Broadway. What's with the cheers Wasn't that guy a terrorist - You Don't Mess with the Zohan What's with the cheers Wasn't that guy a terrorist Why you do this I feel no pain - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Why you do this I feel no pain Why you do this! I feel no pain. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Why you do this! I feel no pain. Why you do this! - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Why you do this! Yeah! - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Yeah! You don't mess with the Zohan Check it - You Don't Mess with the Zohan You don't mess with the Zohan Check it You ever cut a sister's hair before - You Don't Mess with the Zohan You ever cut a sister's hair before You know the Phantom will try to run, so be ready for this. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan You know the Phantom will try to run, so be ready for this. You see his face! Scared Israeli son of bitch. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan You see his face! Scared Israeli son of bitch. You... You fagala? - You Don't Mess with the Zohan You... You fagala? Young man look what I found here - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Young man look what I found here You've caught so many terrorists it's an art - You Don't Mess with the Zohan You've caught so many terrorists it's an art - Zohan. - Dalia. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan - Zohan. - Dalia. Zohan He has a bomb - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Zohan He has a bomb Zohan. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Zohan. Zohan. - You Don't Mess with the Zohan Zohan.

Cast

Zohan - Adam Sandler
Phantom - John Turturro
Dalia - Emmanuelle Chriqui
Michael - Nick Swardson
Gail - Lainie Kazan
All Cast