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Young man look what I found hereA nice balloonDo you want it It's right hereYou shouldn't jump aroundwhen this nice woman's holding a sharp pair of scissorsIf you move she could slip and slice your

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

Well then, at least it is good time to shave his neck

You Don't Mess with the Zohan • 2008

Zohan:
Young man! Look what I have found here, a nice balloon. Do you want it?Zohan:You know, you shouldn't jump around when this nice woman is holding a sharp pair of scissors. If you move she could slip and slice your jugular vein, on accident. There is no way to stitch the jugular. All of your blood will be on the floor in four minutes. I have seen this. I have done this. You don't want this.Zohan:Well then, at least it is good time to shave his neck

Full Transcript

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Young man look what I found here

00:00:04.545 --> 00:00:06.631

A nice balloon

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Do you want it It's right here

00:00:09.008 --> 00:00:11.427

You shouldn't jump around

00:00:11.594 --> 00:00:14.305

when this nice woman's holding a sharp pair of scissors

00:00:14.805 --> 00:00:18.851

If you move she could slip and slice your jugular vein on accident

00:00:19.352 --> 00:00:21.646

There's no way to stitch the jugular

00:00:21.812 --> 00:00:24.815

All of your blood will be on the floor in four minutes

00:00:25.232 --> 00:00:28.819

I've seen this I've done this You don't want this

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Well then at least it's a good time to shave his neck I would get him quick

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لا اود اخبارك

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ماذا ارجوك

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ايا كان ما ستقوله فهو جيد

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اود ان اصبح مصفف شعر

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تصبح حلاق

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لا يمكننى تصديق هذا

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لا انا احب الش ع ر

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هل م يا رجل لديك عندى وظيفه حقيقيه

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مر على بمتجرى غدا

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إليكترونيات الاسرائيليه

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هل جننت سيتعرفون على

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لا انت لا تبدو مثل زوه ان السابق لديك قصه شعر سخيفه الآن

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ماذا بشأن القصه ماذا

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Sag ich nicht

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Was Komm schon Du bist der Beste Zohan

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Alles was du sagst ist gut

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Ich will Friseur werden

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Eine Schwuckele

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Ich glaub's nicht

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Ein großer Krieger aber auch eine Schwuckele mit dem Penachim

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Ich mag Haare

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Ich besorg dir einen richtigen Job

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Komm morgen zu meinem Laden

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Israelische Elektronik

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Bist du verrückt Da erkennt mich doch jeder

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Nein du siehst anders aus mit deiner affigen Frisur

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Was für eine Frisur Was

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Anak muda lihat yang aku temukan disini

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Balon yang bagus

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Kau mau ini di sini

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Kau tidak boleh melompat2

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saat wanita cantik ini sedang memegang gunting yang tajam

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Jika kau bergerak dia bisa terpeleset dan mengiris lehermu dengan tidak sengaja

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Tidak ada yang bisa menjahit leher

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Semua darahmu akan berada dilantai dalam 4 menit

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Aku pernah melihat ini aku pernah lakukan ini kau tidak mau ini

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Setidaknya ini waktu yang tepat untuk mencukur lehernya aku akan tangkap dia dengan cepat

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Dime la verdad Qué haces en América

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No quiero decir

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Qué Por favor

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No hay nadie como tú lo que digas está bien

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Quiero ser estilista

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Eres un fagala

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No lo puedo creer

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Un gran guerrero pero también un fagala con el penacho

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No no me gusta el pelo

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Yo te consigo un trabajo de verdad

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Ven mañana a mi tienda

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Electrónica Israelí

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Estás loco Todos me van a reconocer

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No pareces Zohan con ese corte de pelo ridículo

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Corte de pelo qué

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Genç adam bak ne buldum

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Güzel bir balon

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İster misin Burada

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Bu güzel bayanın elinde keskin makas varken zıplamamalısın

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Kımıldarsan eli kayıp yanlışlıkla şahdamarını kesebilir

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Şahdamarı dikilemez

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Bütün kanın dört dakikada yere boşalır

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Bunu gördüm Bunu yaptım Başına gelmesini istemezsin

00:00:39.905 --> 00:00:43.876

En azından ense tıraşı için tam vakti Ben hemen yaparım

Available in 6 languages

Duration

45 seconds

Views

535

Timestamp in Movie

00:31:04

Uploaded

Mar 12, 2026

Genres

Production

N/A

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Movie Summary

An Israeli Special Forces Soldier fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist.

Actors

Zohan