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You're an Israeli counterterrorist?

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

You're an Israeli counterterrorist? - I knew it.- What? Well, the Israeli part.Because...

You Don't Mess with the Zohan • 2008

You're an Israeli counterterrorist? - I knew it.- What? Well, the Israeli part.Because he's circumcised. How is Dalia going to forgive me? I'm liar. She Palestinian, I'm no Australian. You know, Scrappy--I mean, "Zohard." - -if there's one thing I've learnedfrom all my relationships......with Jewish men, Puerto Rican men,aborigines......you can't have secretsin a relationship. You tell her the truthand if she really is this special one......everything will work out just fine. I like this

Full Transcript

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You're an Israeli counterterrorist

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I knew it What

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Well the Israeli part Because he's circumcised

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How is Dalia going to forgive me

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I'm liar

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She Palestinian I'm no Australian

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You know Scrappy I mean Zohard

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if there's one thing I've learned from all my relationships

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with Jewish men Puerto Rican men aborigines

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you can't have secrets in a relationship

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You tell her the truth and if she really is this special one

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everything will work out just fine

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I like this

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حسنا ماذا تريد

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اريد سلسله مطاعم اللحوم لا

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لكن اذا افصحت فلن يكون لك سلسله مطاعم على اى حال

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انت لا تعطينى اى حافز

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اريد 50 من سلسله مطاعم اللحوم

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نسميه الشبح و سليم مطعم اللحوم

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لا

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25 لا

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اريد متجر ذبادى بجوار المطعم

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حسنا

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سأحصل على ارباح من المطعم لا

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جزء من الربح لا

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اريد زبادى مجانى عند المجيء إلى المطعم

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حسنا سبب معقول

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و اريد بعض زوجاتك

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كم واحده بدك

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20 لا

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سأضاجع واحده لا

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سأتحرش بها

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Ich will Muchentuchen Restaurantkette

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Nein

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Aber wenn ich petze ist sie sowieso weg

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Wo ist dann jetzt der Anreiz

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Ich will 50 Prozent von Muchentuchen

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Wir nennen es Phantom Salim Muchentuchen

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Nein 25 Prozent

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Ich will Joghurt Shop nebenan wie in Fressmeile

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Ich kriege Gewinn

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Bisschen Gewinn

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Ich bekomme umsonst Joghurt

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In Maßen Und ein paar deiner Frauen

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Wie viele Frauen du willst

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20

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Ich schlafe mit einer

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Einmal Pullermann anfassen

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Kau orang Israel yang memberantas teroris

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Aku tahu itu Apa

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Baiklah sebagian orang Israel karena dia disunat

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Bagaimana Dalia akan memaafkanku

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Aku bohong

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Dia orang Palestina aku bukan orang Australia

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Kau tahu Scrappy maksudku Zohard

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Jika ada 1 hal yang aku telah pelajari dari persahabatanku

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dengan orang Yahudi orang Puerto Rico aborigin

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kau tidak boleh memiliki rahasia dalam persahabatan

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Kau katakan sebenarnya dan jika dia sungguh salah satu yang istimewa

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segala sesuatu akan berjalan dengan baik

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Aku suka ini

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Está bien Qué quieres

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Quiero cadena de restaurantes de Mujentujen

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Pero si te delato tú no vas a tener cadena

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Dame un incentivo

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Quiero el 50 de cadena de Mujentujen

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Lo llamaremos Mujentujen de Fantasma y Salim

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No No 25

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Quiero tienda de yogurt pegada a la tienda

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Bueno

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Quiero utilidades de la tienda No

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Una parte No

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Quiero yogurt gratis cuando vaya a la tienda

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Bueno dentro de lo razonable

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Y quiero alguna de tus esposas

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Cuantas esposas quieres

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20 No

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Me acuesto con una esposa No

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Me toca una vez el pipi De acuerdo

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Sen İsrailli kontra terörist misin

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Belliydi Ne

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İsrailli olduğu Çünkü sünnetli

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Dalia beni nasıl affedecek

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Ben yalancıyım

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O Filistinli ben Avustralyalı değilim

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Biliyor musun Scrappy yani Zohard

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ilişkilerimden öğrendiğim bir şey varsa

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ister Yahudi ister Porto Rikolu ister Aborijin olsun

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ilişkide sır olmaz

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Ona gerçeği söyle Senin için gerçekten özelse

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her şey yoluna girer

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Bunu sevdim

Available in 6 languages

Duration

44 seconds

Views

139

Timestamp in Movie

01:23:53

Uploaded

Mar 12, 2026

Genres

Production

N/A

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Movie Summary

An Israeli Special Forces Soldier fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist.