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"Zoolander" quotes

Zoolander poster
At the end of his career, a clueless fashion model is brainwashed to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia.

Director: Ben Stiller
Writer: Drake Sather, Ben Stiller, John Hamburg
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 2001
MetaScore: 61/100
ImdbRating: 6.5
BoxOffice: $45,172,250
Released: 28 Sep 2001
Awards: 1 win & 11 nominations

102 Clips

Derek ZoolanderMugatuMatilda JeffriesJohn Wilkes BoothHanselJ.p. PrewittLarry ZoolanderLuke ZoolanderDavid BowieProtestorBrintMeekusVh1 ReporterBilly ZaneMaury BallsteinWinona RyderToddKatinkaNatalie Portman
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Think about it Derek - Zoolander 00:26 Think about it Derek And now that you're retired I can't have you - Zoolander 00:04 And now that you're retired I can't have you To the Malaysian Prime Minister Hassan - Zoolander 00:36 To the Malaysian Prime Minister Hassan Rufus Brint and Meekus were like brothers to me - Zoolander 00:37 Rufus Brint and Meekus were like brothers to me What is this - Zoolander 00:36 What is this I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really really good looking - Zoolander 00:09 I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than... So I became - Zoolander 00:23 So I became I wasn't like every other kid who dreams about being an astronaut - Zoolander 00:34 I wasn't like every other kid who dreams about being an... It's that damn Hansel - Zoolander 00:05 It's that damn Hansel I feel really bad that good looking people like us - Zoolander 00:12 I feel really bad that good looking people like us There was a moment last night - Zoolander 00:22 There was a moment last night Ouch Oh I'm sorry - Zoolander 00:16 Ouch Oh I'm sorry Why do you hate models Matilda - Zoolander 00:22 Why do you hate models Matilda Shut up - Zoolander 00:48 Shut up But why male models - Zoolander 00:19 But why male models I've been trying to reach you for a week - Zoolander 00:21 I've been trying to reach you for a week Derek you did it That was amazing - Zoolander 00:16 Derek you did it That was amazing And most important of all models don't think for themselves - Zoolander 00:12 And most important of all models don't think for... When I was in seventh grade I was the fat kid in my class - Zoolander 00:08 When I was in seventh grade I was the fat kid in my class So l guess you can Dere lick my balls c pitan - Zoolander 00:18 So l guess you can Dere lick my balls c pitan I thought you were gonna tell me what a bad eugoogolizer I am - Zoolander 00:19 I thought you were gonna tell me what a bad eugoogolizer I... Wait a minute - Zoolander 00:15 Wait a minute Who am I - Zoolander 00:04 Who am I So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius - Zoolander 00:30 So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius I'm not an ambi turner - Zoolander 00:06 I'm not an ambi turner I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid - Zoolander 00:17 I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as... This has been an emotional day for all of us - Zoolander 00:18 This has been an emotional day for all of us I guess it would have to be the first time I went through the second grade - Zoolander 00:26 I guess it would have to be the first time I went through... Hey there Derek My name is Lit' Kteatus - Zoolander 00:29 Hey there Derek My name is Lit' Kteatus Orange mocha frappuccino Orange mocha frappuccino - Zoolander 00:06 Orange mocha frappuccino Orange mocha frappuccino If nobody has any objections - Zoolander 00:11 If nobody has any objections Hey Mugatu Screw you and your little dog too - Zoolander 00:06 Hey Mugatu Screw you and your little dog too And the way Hansel combs his hair Or like doesn't - Zoolander 00:32 And the way Hansel combs his hair Or like doesn't They're in the computer - Zoolander 00:05 They're in the computer Derek Derek Are you worried about Hansel - Zoolander 00:09 Derek Derek Are you worried about Hansel It's a walk off - Zoolander 00:09 It's a walk off Do as you've been trained to do and kill the Malaysian prime minister - Zoolander 00:09 Do as you've been trained to do and kill the Malaysian... Excuse me bro You're excused - Zoolander 00:11 Excuse me bro You're excused So join now because at the Derek Zoolander Centre for Kids - Zoolander 00:15 So join now because at the Derek Zoolander Centre for Kids Hansel He's so hot right now Hansel - Zoolander 00:05 Hansel He's so hot right now Hansel And I felt like This guy's really hurting me - Zoolander 00:11 And I felt like This guy's really hurting me He can take a crap wrap it in tin foil put a couple of fishhooks on it - Zoolander 00:09 He can take a crap wrap it in tin foil put a couple of... You is talkin' loco and I like it - Zoolander 00:13 You is talkin' loco and I like it Obey my dog - Zoolander 00:08 Obey my dog Done it Done it in a while yeah - Zoolander 00:10 Done it Done it in a while yeah Yeah you're cool to hide here - Zoolander 00:26 Yeah you're cool to hide here What do we do when we fall off the horse - Zoolander 00:18 What do we do when we fall off the horse Well I guess I would have to answer your question with another question - Zoolander 00:12 Well I guess I would have to answer your question with... How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read - Zoolander 00:08 How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to... I thought someone was gonna be reading our eugoogoly - Zoolander 00:07 I thought someone was gonna be reading our eugoogoly I hear a lot of words like beauty and handsomeness - Zoolander 00:15 I hear a lot of words like beauty and handsomeness Look I think I know what this is about - Zoolander 00:19 Look I think I know what this is about You think you're too cool for school - Zoolander 00:15 You think you're too cool for school Look I gotta go pee - Zoolander 00:12 Look I gotta go pee Now this'll be a straight walk off old school rules - Zoolander 00:13 Now this'll be a straight walk off old school rules Yo taste my pain bitch - Zoolander 00:05 Yo taste my pain bitch So what time is it - Zoolander 00:19 So what time is it I'm done Jaco I got a prostate the size of a honeydew - Zoolander 00:08 I'm done Jaco I got a prostate the size of a honeydew With a push up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb going on there - Zoolander 00:05 With a push up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb going... Tripping on acid changed our whole perspective on shit - Zoolander 00:11 Tripping on acid changed our whole perspective on shit Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you - Zoolander 00:24 Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you Damn it Derek I'm a coal miner not a professional film and television actor - Zoolander 00:09 Damn it Derek I'm a coal miner not a professional film... Derek back on top man - Zoolander 00:14 Derek back on top man A finger jockey We don't think the same way - Zoolander 00:10 A finger jockey We don't think the same way Like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly so must you become Derelicte - Zoolander 00:10 Like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly so must you become... Who am I - Zoolander 00:21 Who am I They're break dance fighting - Zoolander 00:05 They're break dance fighting Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte - Zoolander 00:09 Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy... What say we settle this on the runway - Zoolander 00:24 What say we settle this on the runway Let me show you - Zoolander 00:20 Let me show you You have no evidence Han stupid destroyed everything - Zoolander 00:09 You have no evidence Han stupid destroyed everything You were wrong about my outfit - Zoolander 00:10 You were wrong about my outfit The designer's got your nuts in a vice - Zoolander 00:16 The designer's got your nuts in a vice What's the deal yo yo - Zoolander 00:04 What's the deal yo yo I thought you were gonna tell me what a bad eugoogolizer I am - Zoolander 00:19 I thought you were gonna tell me what a bad eugoogolizer I... Now if you'll excuse me I've got an after funeral party to attend - Zoolander 00:06 Now if you'll excuse me I've got an after funeral... God God - Zoolander 00:09 God God Who are you trying to get crazy with ese - Zoolander 00:09 Who are you trying to get crazy with ese I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit - Zoolander 00:11 I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit Whatever dude Whatever Peace God bless - Zoolander 00:06 Whatever dude Whatever Peace God bless Did you ever think that maybe there's more to life - Zoolander 00:13 Did you ever think that maybe there's more to life I'm so tired No Todd not now - Zoolander 00:08 I'm so tired No Todd not now The guy had to miraculously pull his underwear out of his butt - Zoolander 00:07 The guy had to miraculously pull his underwear out of his... We get back on - Zoolander 00:09 We get back on Over the past decade - Zoolander 00:12 Over the past decade For Christ's sake it's a casserole Sheila It'll stay - Zoolander 00:06 For Christ's sake it's a casserole Sheila... L do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense - Zoolander 00:12 L do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense Cool story Hansel - Zoolander 00:07 Cool story Hansel Oh snap - Zoolander 00:07 Oh snap
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Cast

Derek Zoolander - Ben Stiller
Hansel - Owen Wilson
Matilda Jeffries - Christine Taylor
Mugatu - Will Ferrell
Katinka - Milla Jovovich
All Cast