Transcript:
Dallas:
Why do women love roofers?
Jasmine:
No idea.
Dallas:
Because they strip 'em and nail 'em all day long.
Jasmine:
Sounds exhausting.
Dallas:
I'll be on the same street tomorrow if you want a...

Transcript:
Jasmine:
You're persistent. Look at you, pushing...
Dallas:
I gave myself a hernia. My mom told me if I acted more like a girl, I wouldn't get hurt all the time.
Jasmine:
Did you want to be a boy?
...

Transcript:
[last lines]

Dallas:
How was your day?
Jasmine:
I told some of my friends at work about you.
Dallas:
What did you tell them?
Jasmine:
Everything. | How was your day I told some of my friends at wo...

Transcript:
Dallas:
What's your name?
Jasmine:
Jasmine.
Dallas:
[Extends hand for handshake, but Jasmine is frozen]
Don't be rude.
Jasmine:
[Shakes Dallas' hand]
What's your name?
Dallas:
Dallas. Named after ...

Transcript:
Dallas:
Tomboy... I don't like that name. I didn't like being called that when I was a kid. I couldn't hide it, but I just didn't like being called out on it. Besides, I'm not a tomboy. I'm more legit...

Transcript:
Dallas:
I'm memorizing every part of you. | Dallas I'm memorizing every part of you

Transcript:
Jasmine:
She kissed me!
Claire:
What did you do?
Jasmine:
I kissed her back!
Claire:
What?
Jasmine:
I feel sick... I feel really weird...
Claire:
Because you like her?
Jasmine:
Because I'm engag...

Transcript:
Dallas:
I don't tell my coming out story. | I don't tell my 'coming out' story

Transcript:
Jasmine:
Ok, "legit tomboy"... Kiss me. | Okay Legit tom boy Kiss me

Transcript:
Dallas:
I bought a few new things...
Quinn:
I like to boil and recycle.
Dallas:
I'm starting over. | I bought a few new things laughs I like to boil and recycle I'm starting over

Scene Description:
a woman is standing in front of a table with clothes on it.

Transcript:
Renaldo the Heel:
I've never seen you here before. I like that in a woman. | I haven't seen you here before I like that in a woman

Transcript:
Officer Garvey:
Where'd ya get the Negro, Butch?
Jack Elroy Jr:
Elevator. | Where'd you get the negro butch Elevator

Transcript:
Renaldo the Heel:
Well, maybe I'm a heel.
Vic Ajax:
Maybe I'm a guy who hates heels.
Renaldo the Heel:
Maybe I'm a heel who hates guys who hate heels. | Maybe I'm just a guy who hates heels Maybe I'...

Transcript:
Nancy:
I'm not that kind of girl!
Renaldo the Heel:
Well, with a little practice you could learn to be. | I'm not that kind of girl Well with a little practice you could learn to be

Transcript:
Girl in bar:
You're cute.
Renaldo the Heel:
Keep talkin', baby. Maybe you'll tell me something I don't already know. | You are cute Ooh keep talkin' baby Maybe you'll tell me somethin' I don't alread...

Transcript:
Renaldo the Heel:
Hey baby, why don't ya come on over to my pad. We'll have a scotch and sofa. | Hey baby why don't ya come on over to my pad We'll have a scotch and sofa

Scene Description:
a man in a tuxedo stands in front of a building with a sign that says " new york " on it.

Transcript:
Vic Ajax:
Hello, Colonel. How are you this evening?
Colonel Rodgers:
Adequate. One mother-lovin' hell of a storm comin.' Know how I can tell? Steel plate
[clang]

Colonel Rodgers:
in my head. Yes si...

Scene Description:
two men are standing next to each other in a dark room.

Transcript:
Arthur Coddish:
[Is about to electrocute Vic]
How do you like it, medium or well-done?
[Evil maniacal laughter]

Nancy:
Victor!
Vic Ajax:
Nancy!
[She throws him a baseball bat, and he smashes Arthu...

Transcript:
Vic Ajax:
[after Nancy nearly got run over by the Exterminators]
You maniacs! I've never seen anything like that... are you All right?
[Tries to open the door for her]

Vic Ajax:
Oh, you've got the k...

Transcript:
Major Griggs:
[Speaking unofficially to Sgt. Mitchell on John Nguyen]
Army never should have let him out in the world the way they did. They treated him like surplus equipment, like a car more expensi...

Scene Description:
a man sits in a hospital room with a box on the floor.

Transcript:
Bennett:
[on Hollis]
He's a cunt
Bennett:
[John asks his name]
You want my number too?
Bennett:
[John explains a form of torture called a bath]
I could do with one right now | The fact that you're n...

Transcript:
John Nguyen:
[overdosing his motel manager]
That was for the boy on the tape
John Nguyen:
[jams a a tube into Bennet's mouth]
I don't want you bitting off your tongue | Hey I was in the garage and I ...

Transcript:
[first lines]

Hollis:
[visiting a cohort in hospital]
You look like you were hit by a fucking truck | You look like you got hit by a bus

Transcript:
[last lines]

Carsen:
What do you want me to fucking say? That I'm sorry? I'm sorry | What do you want fuckface Huh You want me to say I'm fuckin' sorry Is that what you want Fuck I'm sorry

Transcript:
Sgt. Terry Mitchell:
This isn't justice... it's a diffrent kind of justice | And that's not justice This is a uh certain kind of justice

Scene Description:
a man in a black shirt is talking to another man.

Transcript:
Lieutenant Max Hoover:
See, that's federal property. This isn't. This is L.A. This is my town. Out here you're a trespasser. Out here I can pick you up, burn your house, fuck your wife, and kill your ...

Transcript:
[trying to thread a projector]

Coolidge:
Damn it! I can't get my finger in there. It won't fit.
Esther:
Try your dick. | Dammit I can't get my finger in there It won't fit Try your dick

Transcript:
General Timms:
These tiny particles of matter, which are so small that no one's ever seen them - never - they contain enough energy to blow up this house, an entire city, every person on Earth. Now th...

Scene Description:
a man is sitting in a chair talking to another man.

Transcript:
Coolidge:
Max, I'm shot.
Hoover:
Oh my God. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Coolidge:
My psychiatrist is not gonna like this, Max. | I'm shot Oh my God My psychiatrist is not gonna like this Max

Transcript:
Hoover:
Here's something that doesn't cost you 25 bucks an hour: You carry your own water, Ellery. You understand? You carry your OWN water. | Here's something that doesn't cost you 25 bucks an hour Y...

Scene Description:
a man in a fedora is talking to another man.

Transcript:
Coolidge:
[riding in the car]
You know, I've been thinking, why is it we always sit in the same place? And why is it you're always the one that drives, Max?
Hoover:
I guess it's 'cause I got the keys...

Transcript:
Eddie Hall:
I don't understand how anybody can live at the beach. Those waves crashing and flopping all the time - drive me crazy.
Arthur Relyea:
I'm with you, Eddie. I like the sound of traffic when...

Transcript:
General Timms:
[about Allison]
She was spectacular, wasn't she? | She was spectacular wasn't she

Transcript:
Hoover:
How come you got a hot dog in your mouth while you're threading the projector? Why do you eat while you're working? Why do you eat all the time?
Coolidge:
It's all psychological, Max. I eat s...

Scene Description:
a man is working on a machine that has the number 1 on it.

Transcript:
General Timms:
You're much more intelligent than you appear to be, Lieutenant. Must be a big advantage in your field. In my field, everyone was always so desperate to seem cleverer than they were. | Y...

Transcript:
[first lines]

Perino's Maitre d':
Good evening, gentlemen can I check your hats, please? | Escort these gentlemen back to the base and lock them up

Scene Description:
a man in a military uniform with the letter m on it

Transcript:
[last lines]

Katherine Hoover:
You broke my heart, Max. | You broke my fingers

Transcript:
Hoover:
We go where the case takes us.
Fitzgerald:
Not if it takes you here you don't. | We go where the case takes us Not if it takes you here you don't

Transcript:
General Timms:
A hundred die so that a thousand may live. | A hundred die so that a thousand may live

Scene Description:
a man wearing glasses and a brown jacket is looking at the camera.

Transcript:
[repeated line]

Coolidge:
You okay, Max? | You okay Max Yeah

Transcript:
Jennifer Morton:
[to Beth about Jack]
He's a moron. No wonder you're attracted to him! | He's a moron No wonder you're attracted to him

Scene Description:
two women sitting at a table with one of them holding a mug.

Transcript:
Jamie Ross:
If I have to dive into this water and swim over to you, you're gonna be a sorry little girl.
Gwen Daugherty:
I'm already sorry.
[Jamie leaves]

Gwen Daugherty:
I hope I didn't offend any...

Transcript:
Jamie Ross:
Do you wanna dance?
Jennifer Morton:
I shouldn't. I shouldn't Jamie. I mean it. You're scum.
Jamie Ross:
I'm not sure. Is that a yes?
Jennifer Morton:
Yeah, that's a yes. | Do you wanna...

Transcript:
Jack:
[after Beth kisses him]
Wow! That was good. I thought you were gonna knee me in the nuts or something! | Wow That was good I thought you were gonna knee me in the nuts or something

Transcript:
Jennifer Morton:
I'm not even this happy when I'm about to have sex! | I'm not even this happy when I'm about to have sex

Transcript:
Jennifer Morton:
I've decided I wanna be just like Kelly when I grow up.
Kelly Berman:
And I wanna be just like Jennifer!
Jennifer Morton:
And I wanna have a body like Gwen's!
Kelly Berman:
No shit...

Transcript:
Unca Lou Handler:
[Uncle Lou spreads forest boughs to reveal a moose grazing in the forest]
There's nothing like a good moose. | I feel like I could lose him

Transcript:
Unca Lou Handler:
But I'll tell you one thing: if you hit it right, it's one hell of a life. | But I'll tell you one thing If you hit it right it's one hell of a life

Scene Description:
a man wearing glasses and a sweater with a green and white sweater on it.

Transcript:
Jack:
Why'd you come up?
Beth:
Because I wanted to be sad. Now I'm sad. | Why'd you come up 'Cause I wanted to be sad Now I'm sad

Transcript:
Jennifer Morton:
No shit the munchies! I forgot all about the munchies! | No shit The munchies I forgot all about the munchies

Transcript:
Jack:
[after putting Brad's hand in water to make him wet the bed]
I'll tell you one thing. We are not nice people!
Matthew Berman:
Not tonight, we're not! | I'll tell you one thing We are not nice p...

Scene Description:
a man with long black hair and a blue light behind him.

Transcript:
Beth:
I haven't yet.
Jennifer Morton:
Haven't what?
Beth:
[laughs]
Had sex since Rick. I know you're wondering. I know how your mind works.
[pause]

Beth:
I've-I come to the brink and then I-I can'...

Transcript:
Gwen Daugherty:
Excuse me Lou. Fuck you, Jamie. | Excuse me Lou Fuck you Jamie

Scene Description:
a man and a woman sitting next to each other.

Transcript:
Matthew Berman:
The ring? Unca Lou... You know I hate boxing! | Unca Lou you know I hate boxing

Transcript:
Matthew Berman:
I just called the boys.
Kelly Berman:
How are they?
Matthew Berman:
They're fine. I told them that Mommy beat the shit out of me today. | Just called the boys How are they They're fi...

Transcript:
Brad Berman:
Is it me? I don't remember it smelling this much like urine.
Matthew Berman:
The cabin always smelled like urine. That's how you found it when you came uphill in the dark. | I don't reme...

Transcript:
Brad Berman:
No toilet paper! Ho-ho-ho! You guys are good! Man, oh yeah. This is a brilliant schreck! You guys working for NASA? Huh? Is there a blueprint for this plan, cause I'd love to see it. Tell...

Transcript:
Jamie Ross:
Hey, why walk when you can run? You know, Gwen and I run three miles every morning as a warm-up before we work out. Right, baby?
Gwen Daugherty:
Right!
[they run off]

Brad Berman:
[to J...

Transcript:
Jamie Ross:
[referring to Gwen]
Unca Lou, Unca Lou, look at that. Twenty-one years old. How am I going to go six nights without that?
Unca Lou Handler:
You probably won't, Jamie. Just try not to kill...

Transcript:
[first lines]

J. Bruce Ismay:
Her name, like everything about her, gave promise of something mighty and splendid. They called her Titanic. She was the longest, the tallest, the most luxurious ship in...

Transcript:
Madeline Astor:
No coffee. No God, either. God went down with the Titanic. | Chances are more than a thousand went down Another boat on the starboard bow sir

Transcript:
[last lines]

J. Bruce Ismay:
All that strength, power, grace... a few chairs. | All that strength power grace A few chairs

Scene Description:
a man with a moustache is looking at the camera.

Transcript:
[first lines]
Peter Gordon: When my father passed, I wanted nothing more than my mother's happiness. For what kind of man would I be if I did not help my mother? If I did not save her? | I wanted noth...

Transcript:
Phil Burbank:
Bronco Henry told me that a man was made by patience in the odds against him. | Bronco Henry told me that a man was made by patience and the odds against him

Scene Description:
two people sitting in a field, one of which is wearing a black shirt.

Transcript:
[George is crying]
Rose Gordon: What is it, George?
George Burbank: I just want to say... how nice it is not to be alone. | What is it George I just I wanted to say how nice it is not to be alone

Transcript:
[last lines]

Peter Gordon:
[reading from the Psalms]
"Deliver my soul from the sword. My darling from the power of the dog." | Please you can send the bill and I'll post a check Come over here I love...

Transcript:
George Burbank: I was looking for you.
Phil Burbank: Well, you found me.
George Burbank: Everyone's here. We're just about to eat. They were asking after you.
Phil Burbank: Really?
George Burbank: Yes...

Transcript:
George Burbank:
I just came over to hear to speak about something.
[pause]

Phil Burbank:
Come on partner. Open your talker. What is it?
George Burbank:
His Nibs will be joining us for dinner. And t...

Transcript:
Phil Burbank: [amused, to Rose] You didn't play? Sure did practice a terrible lot. She wouldn't think there was that much difference between a cinema pit and a dinner party. | You didn't play You sure...