Transcript:
Martini: Genuine Rolexes! Ten bucks!
Olive: I didn't know Rolex had three X's?
Martini: Typographical error. Factory seconds. | Rolex Genuine Rolex Rolex Genuine Rolex Ten bucks I didn't know Rolex ha...
Transcript:
Olive: Grab my tail!
Martini: Quit wagging it! | Grab my tail Quit wagging it
Transcript:
Olive: By the way, where's Rudolph?
Comet: There's no Rudolph. It's just one of those urban legends. | There you go By the way where's Rudolph There's no Rudolph It's just one of those urban legends
Transcript:
Terry Thorne: So what are you ladies celebrating?
Dino: Life, liberty, and the ability to purchase clitoris. | What are you celebrating Life liberty and the ability to purchase clitoris
Transcript:
Alice Bowman: You stood in my kitchen and you told me my husband was coming home! | You stood in my kitchen and you told me my husband was coming home
Transcript:
Alice Bowman: I thought we'd get a chance...
Terry Thorne: What? To sit round and chat? The three of us? | I thought we'd get a chance What To sit around and chat The three of us
Transcript:
Alice Bowman: I've never seen you nervous
Terry Thorne: Yes you have. | I've never seen you nervous Yes you have
Transcript:
Dino: Who's the man! Stuff a legends! Stuff you are the man! | Who's the man Stuff of legends You are the man
Transcript:
Janis Goodman: [referring to the guns] Oh, jeez. When are you guys gonna put those things away?
Dino: Have a cigarette. It might help. | When are you guys gonna put those things away Have a cigarette ...
Transcript:
Peter Bowman: You're not fucking with me!
Terry Thorne: No mate. I'm for real. | You're not fucking with me No mate I'm for real
Transcript:
Terry Thorne: If you don't keep me up to speed I'm gonna take it very personally.
Dino: You've been doing that a lot lately. | For you If you don't keep me up to speed I'm gonna take it personally You...
Transcript:
Alice Bowman: My daughter is buried in Africa. Who can explain that!
Terry Thorne: What was her name?
Alice Bowman: Mali. Mali Jasmine Bowman
Terry Thorne: It's a beautiful name.
Alice Bowman: You kno...
Transcript:
Dino: We are the talk of the town, buddy.
Terry Thorne: Is it complimentary?
Dino: YOU'D be flattered. | We are the talk of the town Is it complimentary You'd be flattered
Transcript:
Alice Bowman: Just tell me you know how much you mean to me.
Terry Thorne: So we're even.
Alice Bowman: No, we'll never be even. I've given you nothing.
Terry Thorne: Believe me, we're even.
Alice Bow...
Transcript:
Terry Thorne: Go loud! | Go loud
Transcript:
Alice Bowman: You are the first, you are the only person I've met who knows what they're talking about! So I am begging you, I am totally begging you to help me out on this.
Terry Thorne: You asked me...
Transcript:
Terry Thorne: This road leads to Alice. This road leads to home. | This path leads to Alice This path leads home
Transcript:
Dino: You and me, we open our own shop. I run New York, you run London. We meet in the Caymans once a month to visit our money! | You and me we open our own shop I run New York you run London We meet...
Transcript:
Terry Thorne: You know how an English general's daughter gets back at daddy?
[Alice shrugs]
Terry Thorne: She marries an Australian. | Do you know how an English general's daughter gets back at Daddy ...
Transcript:
Alice Bowman: Things don't happen for a reason. They just happen. | Things don't happen for a reason They just happen
Transcript:
Dino: [sarcastically] So basically we just call the army, schedule a battle. How would Wednesday around 3 be for you? | Basically we just call the army schedule a battle How would Wednesday around 3...
Transcript:
Senator Ames Levritt: Our rules supercede those of the outside world. | Our rules supersede those of the outside world
Transcript:
Bae Soo-yeon: Did you go to my room?
Bae Soo-mi: [nods] Hmm.
Bae Soo-yeon: Who was it?
Bae Soo-mi: That woman.
Bae Soo-yeon: Stepmom?
Bae Soo-mi: [nods] Hmm. It's strange.
Bae Soo-yeon: What is?
Bae S...
Transcript:
Bae Soo-mi: Shall we kill them?
Bae Soo-yeon: Let's set them free.
Bae Soo-mi: She'll have a cow if we mess with her precious. I'd hate to see that. | Shall we kill them Let's set them free She'll hav...
Transcript:
Moo-hyeon Bae: Soo-mi, I know you're very angry with me. And I know I'm a bad father.
Bae Soo-mi: You're not even a bad father.
Moo-hyeon Bae: It's cold so let's go inside.
Bae Soo-mi: I will. | Su mi...
Transcript:
Eun-ju: As much as you hate it, I'm the only one in this world you can call mother, got it? | As much as you hate it I'm the only one in this world you can call mother got it
Transcript:
Eun-ju: There's something strange in this house. | There's something in this house
Transcript:
Mi-hee: There was a girl under the kitchen sink. | There was a girl under the sink
Transcript:
Eun-ju: Do know what's really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can't go away, you see. And... and it follows you around like a ghost. | Know...
Transcript:
Mathesar: The ship is too big to enter the atmosphere. We need to separate or die! | Our ship is too big to enter the atmosphere We need to separate or we'll die
Transcript:
Sarris: Prepare a tear harness - for the female. | Prepare a tear harness for the female
Transcript:
Tommy Webber: Set a course for home, Commander?
Jason Nesmith: Can you do that?
Tommy Webber: Oh, yes! Just point and click. But, we're going to have to go through the black hole, though.
Jason Nesmit...
Transcript:
Jason Nesmith: Alright, Tommy, take us into the black hole. | All right Tommy take us into the black hole
Transcript:
Mathesar: Deception. Lies. We have become aware of these concepts only recently, in our dealings with Sarris. Often Sarris will say one thing, and do another. Promise us mercy and deliver destruction....
Transcript:
Gwen DeMarco: Here we go.
Jason Nesmith: Which way, Alexander?
Sir Alexander Dane: This way. No, wait. That way. | Here we go Which way Alexander This way Wait No That way
Transcript:
Lahnk: Sir, I am Lahnk, senior requisition officer. Before we travel to the ship, please let me know if you have any requirements. Weapons, documents, personnel...
Jason Nesmith: Um, coca-cola? Do you...
Transcript:
Jason Nesmith: Hey, where's my limo? | Hey Where's my limo
Transcript:
Fred Kwan: That was a helluva thing. | That was a hell of a thing
Transcript:
Jason Nesmith: Okey Dokey. You know, guys, I had a late night with a Kreemorian Fangor Beast, so I'm going to just shut my eyes for a bit. Go on. You know, I'm listening to everything you say. Okay?
[...
Transcript:
Teen in the Bathroom #1: What a freak show, man. This is hilarious. A bunch of losers. Beggin' for autographs at 15 bucks a pop. These guys haven't had a real acting job for - 20 years. This is all...
Transcript:
Teen in the Bathroom #1: Oh! Come on, come on. The Galaxy Quest Dancers are almost on.
Teen in the Bathroom #2: Oh, full speed ahead. | He's pathetic Come on come on The Galaxy Quest dancers are almos...
Transcript:
Jason Nesmith: I don't know.
Sarris: A booby trap?
Jason Nesmith: I don't know! | A booby trap I don't know
Transcript:
Sir Alexander Dane: Where's the happy ending, Jason? "Never give up, never surrender"? | Where's the happy ending Jason Never give up Never surrender
Transcript:
Jason Nesmith: Maybe I should get some pants on. Come on in.
[looking for his pants, bends over and moons the Thermians]
Mathesar: Commander, standing here in your presence is the greatest honor we co...
Transcript:
Gwen DeMarco: Chompers? Well, screw *that*! | The chompers Well screw that
Transcript:
[Sarris forces Jason to tell Mathesar he's an actor on a TV show]
Jason Nesmith: I'm not a commander. There's no "National Space Exploration Administration." We don't have a ship.
Mathesar: [looking a...
Transcript:
Rayford Gibson: Hey we looking for Slim!
Slim: You found him.
Slim: That's it boys. 36 cases of Mississippi's finest. 5 bucks a case, that's $180
Claude Banks: Come on pay the man pay the man
Rayford ...
Transcript:
Willie Long: [narrating] Round about 1972, I got transferred to the infirmary and those two fools were still at it. But no matter how tough a man is, he spends enough time on this farm, he'll find his...
Transcript:
Hoppin' Bob: You don't want me to come down there. I ain't nice like the boss; I'll slap the black off your ass! Get to work! | You don't want me to come down there I ain't nice like Boss I'll slap...
Transcript:
Mr. Furious: People who don't close their mouths when they chew make me furious. | People who don't close their mouths when they chew make me furious
Transcript:
The Bowler: [examining Captain Amazing's smoldering body] I'm going to check his pulse.
[she touches his hand, which falls to the ground and shatters]
The Bowler: I don't think he's going to pull thro...
Transcript:
Sally: Just junk it, you miserable cuss! | Just junk it you miserable cuss
Transcript:
Pig: You keep dreaming, Wanna-be!
Pig: Dream on, moron!
Mr. Furious: I will keep dreaming, my friend! And when I wake up, you better hope... you better hope you're asleep! Sweet dreams, lilac! | You k...
Transcript:
Mr. Furious: I'm a wannabe. I AM a wannabe - a TRUE wannabe, in the worst sense of... You guys are gonna have to go fight this battle without me.
The Spleen: You start doubting your super-powers, man,...
Transcript:
The Blue Raja: Well, I'd better get going. I got a city to save.
Blue Raja's mother: Jeffrey?
The Blue Raja: Yeah.
Blue Raja's mother: Do the accent.
The Blue Raja: Oh. Uh, well...
[shifts to British ...
Transcript:
Dr. Heller: That's a high-temperature fabric adhesive liquid projector, based on simple dry-cleaning technology. You aim that at a guy, and I'll tell you something: his clothes get so tight he can't...
Transcript:
The Shoveller: This is egg salad. It's loaded with cholesterol, the wife won't even let me touch it. It hardly seems to matter now 'cause, chances are, we're already dead. Amazing is gone, there's no...
Transcript:
The Shoveller: If we had a billionaire like Lance Hunt as our benefactor... yeah, we could spend a hundred and fifty.
Mr. Furious: That's because Lance Hunt IS Captain Amazing!
The Blue Raja: Oh, here...
Transcript:
Bob Woodward: What are you doing here?
Carl Bernstein: I came to make sure you were all right.
Bob Woodward: You did not! You're trying to horn in on my source.
Carl Bernstein: How come you get to mee...
Transcript:
Betsy Jobs: What names?
Carl Bernstein: The names! The information!
Bob Woodward: Listen, people are counting on you!
Betsy Jobs: Well, look, you two are the big-shot reporters. Can't you figure anyth...
Transcript:
Dick: I had you checked out. There's probably more in there than you know about yourselves.
Betsy Jobs: Even grades?
Dick: Yeah, grades, your parents' income tax returns, overdue library books. The wh...
Transcript:
Bob Woodward: Are you insane? Or, are your pants too tight? | Are you insane Or are your pants too tight Who are you talking to
Transcript:
Larry Jobs: The old drugs aren't working. We need to create new drugs. Have you guys been eating those cookies?
Betsy Jobs: We gave them to Mom and Dad to taste. They ate all of them and started giggl...
Transcript:
Dick: How are you doing young ladies? What are your names?
Betsy Jobs: I'm Betsy and this is Arlene, Mr. President.
Dick: Okay, call me Dick.
Betsy Jobs: Hi Dick. | How're you doing young ladies What ...
Transcript:
Arlene Lorenzo: Why were they shredding all that paper?
Dick: Oh, papier-mâché is a hobby of mine. | Why were they shredding all that paper Papier m ch is a hobby of mine
Transcript:
G. Gordon Liddy: Young people running wild in the middle of the night. By the time you kids are grown, you'll be living in the Soviet Union of America! | Young people running wild in the middle of the...
Transcript:
Dick: Pat, will ya stop snoring, goddamn it! My head is about to explode! | Pat will you stop snoring goddamn it My head is about to explode
Transcript:
Arlene Lorenzo: War is not healthy for children and other living things. | War is not healthy for children and other living things