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Father: I don't want a coward in the family. | I don't want a coward in the family

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Father: You're going to be a winner; just don't shiver. A winner doesn't shiver. | You're gonna be a winner Just don't shiver A winner doesn't shiver

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Father: Where are you mount Everest? Give me some Everest. | Where are you Mount Everest Give me some Everest

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Father: If I were so stupid, I would slap my own face. | If I were as stupid I would slap my own face

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Julien: I got a... I got a... I got a poem. Wanna hear?
Pearl: Yeah.
Julien: Okay. Okay, I'll read a poem.
Father: Okay.
Julien: Midnight chaos, eternity chaos, morning chaos, eternity chaos, noon cha...

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Julien: You killed the Jews, you killed the hippies. You killed all the mother's titties. | you killed the Jews you killed the hippies You killed all the mother's titties

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Julien: Cursed be he who puts an obstacle in the path of a blind man. | who puts an obstacle in the path of a blind man Cursed be he who puts an obstacle in the path of a blind man

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Rapper: I'm a black albino straight from Alabama... | You know I'm a black albino straight from Alabama

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Pearl: Keep brushing your teeth and you will always be a happy person. | Take good care of your teeth and you'll always be a happy person

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Joey Potter: So what's your deal? You're some sort of alien or something?
Clifford: Nah, Baby! Me and Gonzo are very tight. In fact, we're gonna be chillin' in our hot tub later on. Perhaps you'd like...

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Pepe: Hey, Kermit. When will you fix the oven, okay?
Kermit: What's wrong with the oven?
[oven explodes]
Pepe: That. | When will you fix the oven okay What's wrong with the oven That

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Miss Piggy: Gotta run. Bye, Kermie. Kissie, kissie. Ha-ha.
[exits]
Statler: Is breakfast over?
Waldorf: No, why?
Statler: 'Cause I think the bacon just ran out.
[they laugh] | TV journalist Gotta run ...

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Pearl Kantrowitz: [Looking at the portable TV in Walker's bus] I've never seen one so small.
Walker Jerome: You like that? My brother picked it up in southeast Asia.
Pearl Kantrowitz: What was he doin...

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Alison Kantrowitz: You love the blouseman more than all of us?
Pearl Kantrowitz: No. Sometimes it's easier to be different with a different person. | You love the Blouse Man more than all of us No Som...

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Lilian Kantrowitz: You gonna hold onto that the rest of the afternoon, Selma? | You gonna hold on to this the rest of the afternoon Ma'am what's your name Selma

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Daniel Kantrowitz: [Dad Marty is driving his family on vacation, mom beside him in front, granny & kids in back; they're singing the Name Game: "Shirley Shirley bo-Birly, Bonana Fana fo-Firley" etc]...

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Lilian Kantrowitz: [after the Blouse Man tells her to get some meat tenderizer to treat Danny's wasp bites] Meat tenderizer? What is he - a pot roast? | Meat tenderizer Well what is he a pot roast

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[Lilian Kantrowitz is giving Selma Levitsky a tarot reading]
Selma Levitsky: So?
Lilian Kantrowitz: No.
Selma Levitsky: "No"? That's what I pay you for? "No"?
Lilian Kantrowitz: The cards don't lie.
S...

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Marty Kantrowitz: Did I want a microscope?
Pearl Kantrowitz: Once. | Did I want a microscope

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Marty Kantrowitz: There's no such thing as a nice sixteen year old boy. | There is no such thing as a nice 16 year old boy

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Pearl Kantrowitz: I went to Woodstock.
Marty Kantrowitz: You went to Woodstock.
Pearl Kantrowitz: Ummm...
Marty Kantrowitz: Was it groovy? | I went to Woodstock You went to Woodstock Um Was it groovy

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Alison Kantrowitz: I never have to listen to you ever again. I saw you. I was there. You should have seen yourself. You looked disgusting! I'm the teenager! Not you! You had your chance.
Pearl Kantrow...

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[first lines]
[various shots of a live-action bedroom with the characters portrayed as stuffed animals]
Narrator: [narrating] Now this might be the room of any small boy. But it just so happens to bel...

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Owl: [Reciting the letter] Dear Tigger, just a note to say:...
Kanga: ...dress warmly...
Winnie The Pooh: ...eat well...
Piglet: ...stay safe and sound...
Eeyore: ...keep smiling...
Roo: We're always ...

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Sarah: You see I never stopped loving you, even though I couldn't see you. | You see I never stopped loving you even though I couldn't see you

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Héctor: I need help. A man is after me. He's trying to kill me. | I need help A man is after me He's trying to kill me

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Héctor: [first lines - everything has fallen out of the back of his car] Clara! Clara! Clara! Didn't you hear me calling you?
Clara: You called me?
Héctor: Yeah. You didn't hear me?
Clara: No.
Héctor:...

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El Joven: For God's sake, you can't go home.
Héctor: What?
El Joven: You're already home. | For God's sake you can't go home What You're already home Want another look

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El Joven: [to Héctor] We've seen each other before, right? | You've been here before right

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Tom Ripley: And that's the irony, Marge. I loved you. You may was well know it, Marge: I loved you. I don't know... maybe it's grotesque of me to say this now, so just write it on a piece of paper or...

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Lisa Flanagan: I'm not like you okay.
Tammy Metzler: What do you mean?
Lisa Flanagan: I'm not a dyke and we're not in love. We're just... experimenting. | I'm not like you OK What do you mean I'm not ...

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Morgan, Jason: I blame YOU for this! | Both I blame you for this

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Edward Pettigrew: You know that word you asked me about? I looked it up in a... medical dictionary for you.
Fraser Pettigrew: [excited] Fellatio?
Edward Pettigrew: Um, believe you me, Fraser, boarding...

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Edward Pettigrew: Well, that's all cleared up then. So, Fraser, is there anything you'd like to ask me about?
Fraser Pettigrew: What's an... orgy, father? | Well that's all cleared up then So uh Frase...

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Gabriel Chenoux: [after his bi-plane is forced to land on the grounds of the Kiloran estate] I am Gabriel Chenoux, The Emperor of the Air. Oh, this is amazing... I seem to have landed in some sort of...

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Fraser Pettigrew: [voice-over] I think the Emperor wants to dance with Elspeth because all that's on his mind is slanking. He is French. | I think the emperor wants to dance with Elspeth because all...

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Edward Pettigrew: The next time you hear music in a dream, as soon as you've waken up in the morning, you must run down to the loch with me and have a cold plunge. | Well next time you hear music in a...

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Fraser Pettigrew: [voice-over] What's really great about learning the manly art of fishing is that it gives you loads of time to think about what you read in the secret library. And the books give you...

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Fraser Pettigrew: [voice-over] When I was very little, the thing I hated most in all the world was resting. Resting was really just a kind of torture invented for people like me and my sister Brenda....

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Fraser Pettigrew: [voiceover] It's dad's fault if I'm ignorant, because he never tells me about anything useful. If you ask him why Beethoven is so wonderful, he says stuff like, "Beethoven is the...

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Fraser Pettigrew: [voiceover] It was during the Great War that we first started mining moss. It was used for putting on soldiers' wounds, because it was ten times more absorbent than cotton wool. So...

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Edward Pettigrew: Fraser, go liberate your brother. | Fraser liberate your brother will you

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Fraser Pettigrew: [reading from his father's old book] "Dearest Samuel, Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest. I have many things I would like to teach you, if only we can find the opportunity. The...

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Edward Pettigrew: Jazz is the sound of the devil sniggering at our follies. | Jazz is the sound of the devil sniggering at our folly Fraser

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Fraser Pettigrew: [voice-over] I found an article about a thing called prostitution. I read it three times. It's one of the most interesting things I've ever come across. | I found an article about a...

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Fraser Pettigrew: Our house is probably too big, which is why my mum kept having babies so we can keep it filled up. | Our house is probably too big which is why my mum kept having babies so that we...

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Narrator: In my life I find that memories of the spirit linger and sweeten long after memories of the brain have faded. | In my life I've found that memories of the spirit linger and sweeten long...

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Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter: [addressing the court] Twenty years spent locked up in a cage considered as a danger to society. | Twenty years I've spent locked up in a cage considered a danger to society

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[Peter reads a letter from the *real* Luke Trimble on the train back to L.A. given to him by Adele]
Luke Trimble: Dearest Adele: I have a feeling we'll be moving out soon so I may not get a chance to ...

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Maxine: Here's the thing: If you ever got me, you wouldn't have a clue what to do with me. | Here's the thing If you ever got me you wouldn't have a clue what to do with me

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Capt. James West: Let me tell you something about your beloved art of disguise, Gordon. That night at Fat Can's, it wasn't a difficult task to tell that you weren't a woman.
Artemus Gordon: I was prop...

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Spencer Armacost: [appears out of no where] Shh shhh shhh. Don't talk. Don't say a word honey. You're fine, you're fine now. They're still inside you Jill. They're right where they need to be. And we...

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Spencer Armacost: [Sees Jillian's feet submerged in water, a extension cord in her hand and the radio cord in the other warning him that she is going to plug it in] Jesus fucking Christ Jill.
Jillian:...

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Nan: I don't get it, we grew up in the same house. You land Johnny Rocket Boy, I keep getting different versions of Throws-Up-on-Himself Elmo. | I don't get it We grew up in the same house You land...

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Nan: Men are like parking spaces: all the good ones are taken, and the available ones are handicapped. | It's true You know men are like parking spaces The good ones are taken and all the available...

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Rancho: Sir, why this seating according to rank?
Viru Sahastrabudhhe: Any problem with that?
Rancho: Yes, this grading system is like a caste system. A-graders: Kings, C-graders: Slaves. It's not nice...

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Pia V. Sahastrabudhhe: You Gujaratis are so cute. But why does your food sound so dangerous? Dhokla, fafda, handwa, thepla, khakhra, they sound like missiles. Today, Bush dropped two dhoklas on Iraq:...

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Viru Sahastrabudhhe: [Angrily silencing students laughing] Quiet!
[Points at Rancho]
Viru Sahastrabudhhe: Nonsense! Is this how you'll teach engineering?
Rancho: Sir, I wasn't teaching you engineering...

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Bethany: If this is so major, why are you talking to me? Why doesn't God do something about it?
Metatron: He could. But he rather see you take care of this one personally...
Bethany: Why me?
Metatron:...

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Jay: [after some time] Hahaha, Holy Bartender! I get it! That's a great one. | Holy Bartender I get it That's a great one

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Serendipity: How? That's the only thing I couldn't figure out.
Azrael: Oh no, I've seen way too many Bond movies to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan, no matter how close you may...

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Rufus: White folks only want to hear the good shit: life eternal, a place in God's Heaven. But as soon as they hear they're getting this good shit from a black Jesus, they freak. And that, my friends,...

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Bethany: Were they sent to Hell?
Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history. And when the world ends, they'll have to sit outside the Gates for all eternity. | Were they sent to ...

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Mr. Bennett: The narrower a man's mind, the broader his statements. | The narrower a man's mind the broader his statements

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The Ghost of Christmas Present: You should have accepted Fred's invitation to dine.
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: What?
The Ghost of Christmas Present: For Fran's sake, if not for yours. | You should've accep...

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[last lines]
Tiny Tim: God bless us, every one! | God bless us God bless us every one

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Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: You find my nephew amusing, Cratchit.
Bob Cratchit: He's a very pleasant fellow, sir.
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: You're another Christmas lunatic like him.
Bob Cratchit: If you say so...

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Mrs. Cratchit: [talking about Scrooge and Christmas] He'll be about as merry as a graveyard on a wet Sunday.
[the Ghost of Christmas Present bursts into laughter] | He'll be as merry as a graveyard on...

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[Scrooge appears at Fred's table, and clears his throat. Everyone turns and stares at him in amazement]
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: Fred? I-It's I. It's your Uncle Scrooge. I've come to dinner... will you h...