"Bad Santa" quotes
A miserable conman and his partner pose as Santa and his Little Helper to rob department stores on Christmas Eve. But they run into problems when the conman befriends a troubled kid.
Director: Terry Zwigoff
Writer: Glenn Ficarra, John Requa
Production: N/A
Year: 2003
MetaScore: 70/100
ImdbRating: 7.1
BoxOffice: $60,060,328
Released: 26 Nov 2003
Awards: 1 win & 12 nominations
99 Clips
00:10 This one fucking time I take you home okay
00:07 Have you seen that new Santa they just hired
00:10 Fucking shit Fuck you
00:25 It's the retard again
00:21 Check out this loser
00:06 Merry Christmas Santa's coming
00:04 Jesus Fuckin Christ
00:12 Wish in one hand and shit in the other one see which one...
00:15 Drop the elephant
00:13 It's a wooden pickle
00:35 Asshole how many times I got to tell you Get out from behind...
00:35 How many times I gotta tell you
00:07 What is this
00:08 And I can get another midget too Yeah where
00:13 What the fuck is that
00:04 Fuck you Willie
01:09 I live two streets over on Burningtrail Road
00:16 Bet the store dick don't want this
00:25 Did you know that
00:18 The hell's wrong with you
00:12 You're bringing my present early
00:12 Motherfucker
00:05 Let me fix you some sandwiches
00:33 That's the seven dwarfs
00:32 What the fuck are you doing
00:33 Let me fix you some sandwiches
00:13 Are you fucking with me
00:05 Are you saying there's something wrong with my gear
00:06 When I look at you you know what I think
00:06 You probably shouldn't be digging in your ass
00:08 This is Christmas and the kid's getting his fucking...
00:25 Your pants are awful baggy
00:32 Look who's here
00:04 Is your name Thurman Yeah
00:06 What the hell happened to you I cut my hand by mistake
00:11 There he is that lousy leather faced frog eyed motherfucker
00:08 What a terrible accident
00:15 What the fuck is wrong with you
00:19 Why don't you get going
00:05 Man is a sexual being
00:18 Because you got no discipline
00:12 There's a Candy Corn in this one
01:02 We've been at this for a long time and all
00:16 You smell like a bum's nut sack
00:12 Fuck the loofah
00:06 You probably shouldn't be digging in your ass
00:03 Does your daddy have a car
00:10 Does your daddy have a safe
00:47 Shouldn't I wrap it in a T shirt or something
00:47 Apache Junction
00:09 Fucking Santy Claus
00:26 Thank you for giving that letter to the cops
00:05 Watch the toenails
00:12 Shit in the other
00:08 Should I fix you some sandwiches
00:16 You shat me out of your womb
00:04 I'm not your fucking Da Da
00:43 We split the dough right down the middle
00:16 But I got sick and all the hair fell out
00:31 I've been to prison once
00:05 Sweet Jews for Jesus
00:22 IF I call you next December
00:14 I saw you at another mall
00:06 I'm on my fucking lunch break
00:11 You are really Santa
00:17 I hear your buddy's not here to protect you any more
00:11 You are by far the dumbest most pathetic piece of maggot...
00:21 Is everything fuckin' sex with you
00:12 I thought it was always night at the North Pole
00:08 I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time sure
00:15 I just can't help it
00:07 You ain't gonna shit right for a week
01:00 That's three of us
00:11 More butt fucking
00:06 This is not the DMV
00:08 See Mrs Santa caught me fucking her sister
00:13 Good night Santa
00:12 And shit in the other
01:15 It won't happen again
Cast
Willie - Billy Bob Thornton
Marcus - Tony Cox
The Kid - Brett Kelly
Sue - Lauren Graham
Lois - Lauren Tom