So what exactly are we going to say to Coach Shit-for-Words to get out of football camp?...
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Shawn Colfax:
So what exactly are we going to say to Coach Shit-for-Words to get out of football camp?
Nick Brady:
What every kid says to get out of everything he doesn't want to do.
[speaking to Coach Byrne]
Nick Brady:
So not only do I find out yesterday I'm adopted, the people I've been calling 'mom' and 'dad' are actually infertile impostors who bought me outside of a meth clinic in Cincinatti for two boxes of Sudafed, but I also get this news dropped on me: my birth father, Bruce, he needs a kidney and I'm the only match! And apparently Bruce needs it stat. Mhm, you need it stat, Bruce? HUH? Well maybe I needed a father stat, instead of this stay-at-home-dad who showers me with love every day of my life this goddamn spermless liar! So now I gotta be at Kaiser Permanente tomorrow at 6:00 am. I know. Bruce couldn't even afford a real hospital. Managed care. It's ironic, huh? He never managed to care for me.
Coach Byrnes:
Are you shittin' me? Are you saying you can't go to football coach?
Nick Brady:
Yeah, but don't make me say it, coach. It's eating me up inside.
[sniffle]
Nick Brady:
It's eating me up.
Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.019
What are we gonna say to Coach Shit For Words to get out of football
00:00:04.037 --> 00:00:07.036
What every kid says to get out of everything he doesn't wanna do
00:00:09.077 --> 00:00:12.004
So not only do I find out yesterday I'm adopted
00:00:12.057 --> 00:00:15.057
the people I've called mom and dad are infertile imposters
00:00:15.074 --> 00:00:18.084
who bought me outside a meth clinic for two boxes of Sudafed
00:00:19.002 --> 00:00:21.035
but I also get this news dropped on me
00:00:21.068 --> 00:00:24.021
My birth father Bruce
00:00:24.089 --> 00:00:27.075
well he needs a kidney and I'm the only match
00:00:27.096 --> 00:00:30.002
And apparently Bruce needs it stat
00:00:30.069 --> 00:00:33.016
You need it stat Bruce Huh
00:00:33.036 --> 00:00:36.003
I needed a father stat instead of the stay at home dad
00:00:36.026 --> 00:00:39.006
who showers me with love every day this goddamn spermless liar
00:00:41.999 --> 00:00:44.001
So now I gotta be at Kaiser Permanente tomorrow at 6 a m
00:00:44.024 --> 00:00:47.064
I know Bruce couldn't even afford a real hospital
00:00:47.084 --> 00:00:50.047
Managed care It's ironic huh
00:00:51.998 --> 00:00:52.081
Never managed to care for me
00:00:52.098 --> 00:00:54.088
You shitting me
00:00:55.997 --> 00:00:57.014
Are you saying you can't go to camp
00:00:57.032 --> 00:00:59.055
Yeah but don't make me say it coach
00:00:59.072 --> 00:01:04.003
Because it's eating me up inside It's eating me up
Clip duration: 65 seconds
Views: 173
Timestamp in movie: 00h 15m 45s
Uploaded: 02 December, 2022
Genres: comedy, sport
Summary: The two most popular guys in high school decide to ditch football camp for cheerleader camp. For the girls and for the glory.
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