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Great British Theatre

A series of blockbuster theatre productions filmed live by the National Theatre.

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♪ 'Nature Boy' by Nat King Cole - Great British Theatre

♪ 'Nature Boy' by Nat King Cole

[HUM OF CONVERSATION] - Great British Theatre

[HUM OF CONVERSATION]

- Oh? OK. That wasn't my intention but...
- Great. - Great British Theatre

- Oh? OK. That wasn't my intention but... - Great.

♪ And then one day - Great British Theatre

♪ And then one day

Our current situation is unusual - Great British Theatre

Our current situation is unusual

Suddenly Frodo saw before him
a black chasm. - Great British Theatre

Suddenly Frodo saw before him a black chasm.

At the end of the hall,
the floor vanished - Great British Theatre

At the end of the hall, the floor vanished

The outer door could only be reached
by a slender bridge of stone, - Great British Theatre

The outer door could only be reached by a slender bridge of ...

I just ran from the station. Sorry.
I'm a bit hot. I'm really excited... - Great British Theatre

I just ran from the station. Sorry. I'm a bit hot. I�...

At the brink, Gandalf halted and
the others came up in a pack behind. - Great British Theatre

At the brink, Gandalf halted and the others came up in a pac...

- Actually, water would be great....
- We're looking for someone - Great British Theatre

- Actually, water would be great.... - We're looking fo...

"Lead the way, Gimli:
Pippin and Merry next. - Great British Theatre

"Lead the way, Gimli: Pippin and Merry next.

It will mainly be filing, - Great British Theatre

It will mainly be filing,

"Straight on and up the stair
beyond the door!" - Great British Theatre

"Straight on and up the stair beyond the door!"

It also involves updating the website
and throwing up an occasional twit. - Great British Theatre

It also involves updating the website and throwing up an occ...

What it was could not be seen:
it was like a great shadow, - Great British Theatre

What it was could not be seen: it was like a great shadow,

It says here that you've done something
similar at the café that you used to... - Great British Theatre

It says here that you've done something similar at the ...

― Hail to your lordship!
― Horatio, or I do forget myself. - Great British Theatre

― Hail to your lordship! ― Horatio, or I do forget myself....

I'm sorry. That won't get you
very far here any more. - Great British Theatre

I'm sorry. That won't get you very far here any mo...

My good friend,
I'll change that name with thee. - Great British Theatre

My good friend, I'll change that name with thee.

It came to the edge of the fire.
The light faded, - Great British Theatre

It came to the edge of the fire. The light faded,

Oh no, sorry,
I thought I had a top on underneath. - Great British Theatre

Oh no, sorry, I thought I had a top on underneath.

And the flames roared up to greet it
and wreathed about it. - Great British Theatre

And the flames roared up to greet it and wreathed about it.

I would not hear your enemy say so,
nor shall you do my ear that violence - Great British Theatre

I would not hear your enemy say so, nor shall you do my ear ...

In its right hand was a blade - Great British Theatre

In its right hand was a blade

In its other hand,
it held a whip of many thongs. - Great British Theatre

In its other hand, it held a whip of many thongs.

But what is your affair in Elsinore? - Great British Theatre

But what is your affair in Elsinore?

"Now I understand!" - Great British Theatre

"Now I understand!"

The dark figure streaming with fire
raced towards them. - Great British Theatre

The dark figure streaming with fire raced towards them.

I pray you do not mock me, fellow student.
I think it was to see my mother's wedding. - Great British Theatre

I pray you do not mock me, fellow student. I think it was to...

"Over the bridge!" cried Gandalf,
recalling his strength. - Great British Theatre

"Over the bridge!" cried Gandalf, recalling his st...

"Fly! This is a foe
beyond any of you. - Great British Theatre

"Fly! This is a foe beyond any of you.

The funeral baked meats did coldly
furnish forth the marriage tables. - Great British Theatre

The funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriag...

"Fly!" - Great British Theatre

Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
ere I had ever seen that day, Horatio. - Great British Theatre

Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven ere I had ever seen...

― How now, my lord, why look'st thou pale?
― My father! - Great British Theatre

― How now, my lord, why look'st thou pale? ― My father!...

- It's my office.
- Yeah? - Great British Theatre

- It's my office. - Yeah?

His enemy halted again, facing him, - Great British Theatre

His enemy halted again, facing him,

― In my mind's eye, Horatio.
― I saw him once, he was a goodly king. - Great British Theatre

― In my mind's eye, Horatio. ― I saw him once, he was a...

(FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY) - Great British Theatre

(FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY)

It raised its whip.
The thongs whined and cracked. - Great British Theatre

It raised its whip. The thongs whined and cracked.

He was a man, take him for all in all.
I shall not look upon his like again. - Great British Theatre

He was a man, take him for all in all. I shall not look upon...

But still Gandalf stood firm.
"You cannot pass!" - Great British Theatre

But still Gandalf stood firm. "You cannot pass!"

"I am a servant of the Secret Fire,
wielder of the Flame of Anor. - Great British Theatre

"I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flam...

(KNOCK ON DOOR) - Great British Theatre

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Three nights ago,
I ordered myself a very slutty pizza. - Great British Theatre

Three nights ago, I ordered myself a very slutty pizza.

The hour has come.
The guests who now assemble wait upon you. - Great British Theatre

The hour has come. The guests who now assemble wait upon you...

"The dark fire will not avail you,
flame of Udûn. - Great British Theatre

"The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn.

Bid her hold her patience a while,
I come by and by. - Great British Theatre

Bid her hold her patience a while, I come by and by.

"You cannot pass." - Great British Theatre

"You cannot pass."

Good Horatio, you are welcome to Elsinore. - Great British Theatre

Good Horatio, you are welcome to Elsinore.

That dirty little stuffed crust
wanted to be in me so bad - Great British Theatre

That dirty little stuffed crust wanted to be in me so bad

It stepped forward slowly
on to the bridge - Great British Theatre

It stepped forward slowly on to the bridge

Since my dear soul
was mistress of her choice - Great British Theatre

Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice

That pretty much nailed that,
and it was pretty late now - Great British Theatre

That pretty much nailed that, and it was pretty late now

My gracious lord, I will leave you
for a while. Farewell. - Great British Theatre

My gracious lord, I will leave you for a while. Farewell.

But still Gandalf could be seen,
glimmering in the gloom. - Great British Theatre

But still Gandalf could be seen, glimmering in the gloom.

Then from out of the shadow,
a red sword leaped, flaming. - Great British Theatre

Then from out of the shadow, a red sword leaped, flaming.

I run a guinea-pig themed café,
but it's out of cash - Great British Theatre

I run a guinea-pig themed café, but it's out of cash

And the Balrog fell back and its
sword flew up in molten fragments. - Great British Theatre

And the Balrog fell back and its sword flew up in molten fra...

And I don't want to dignify
the banker man with a proper mention - Great British Theatre

And I don't want to dignify the banker man with a prope...

And then with a bound,
it leapt full upon the bridge. - Great British Theatre

And then with a bound, it leapt full upon the bridge.

Or how I do sometimes wish
I could own up to not having morals - Great British Theatre

Or how I do sometimes wish I could own up to not having mora...

And at that moment Gandalf,
crying aloud, - Great British Theatre

And at that moment Gandalf, crying aloud,

So, OK, I won't. - Great British Theatre

So, OK, I won't.

"You shall not pass!" - Great British Theatre

"You shall not pass!"

Even though it would solve everything,
I won't. - Great British Theatre

Even though it would solve everything, I won't.

Right at the Balrog's feet it broke - Great British Theatre

Right at the Balrog's feet it broke

(KNOCK ON DOOR) - Great British Theatre

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Lying in my office, the café numbers start
to jump out at me like little ninjas. - Great British Theatre

Lying in my office, the café numbers start to jump out at me...

And with a terrible cry,
the Balrog fell forward, - Great British Theatre

And with a terrible cry, the Balrog fell forward,

So, I rationalise it would be good
to switch off for a bit, improve my mind. - Great British Theatre

So, I rationalise it would be good to switch off for a bit, ...

So I watched a pretty good movie,
actually, called 17 Again. - Great British Theatre

So I watched a pretty good movie, actually, called 17 Again.

But even as it fell,
it swung its whip - Great British Theatre

But even as it fell, it swung its whip

With Zac Efron, who is... He's fit! - Great British Theatre

With Zac Efron, who is... He's fit!

He staggered and fell, - Great British Theatre

He staggered and fell,

I know. But seriously,
he's actually a really good actor. - Great British Theatre

I know. But seriously, he's actually a really good acto...

"Fly, you fools!" - Great British Theatre

"Fly, you fools!"

So when that finished,
I lay there, thinking ― - Great British Theatre

So when that finished, I lay there, thinking ―

Googled Obama
to keep up with... you know. - Great British Theatre

Googled Obama to keep up with... you know.

― OBAMA: I am so happy to be here.
― Who, as it turns out, is also... - Great British Theatre

― OBAMA: I am so happy to be here. ― Who, as it turns out, i...

Café, numbers, numbers, Obama, - Great British Theatre

Café, numbers, numbers, Obama,

(MUSIC FADES) - Great British Theatre

Suddenly I was on YouPorn
having a horrible wank. - Great British Theatre

Suddenly I was on YouPorn having a horrible wank.

I found just the right sort of gangbang, - Great British Theatre

I found just the right sort of gangbang,

Just in case you didn't realise, - Great British Theatre

Just in case you didn't realise,

Yet so far hath discretion
fought with nature - Great British Theatre

Yet so far hath discretion fought with nature

[LAUGHTER] - Great British Theatre

Therefore, our sometime sister,
now our queen, - Great British Theatre

Therefore, our sometime sister, now our queen,

The next morning,
I wake to find a note from Harry - Great British Theatre

The next morning, I wake to find a note from Harry

Great British Theatre poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A series of blockbuster theatre productions filmed live by the National Theatre.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: N/A

Writer: N/A

Production:

Genre: drama

Year: 2021

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: N/A

BoxOffice:

Released: 10 Jun 2021

Awards: N/A

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