This isn't funny. This guy's got twelve kids, that's not funny. That's a lot of...

Ben Stone: [watching Cheaper by the Dozen after taking mushrooms] This isn't funny. This guy's got twelve kids, that's not funny. That's a lot of responsibility to just be... laughing about. This is sick. This is a sick movie. I gotta turn this off. It's freaking me out.

Let's move, gang! Come on, come on, come on! Jessica, can you get these plates and put them on the table, please? This isn't funny. That guy has 12 kids. It's not funny. It's... Now I get to start all over again! This is sick. This is a sick movie. That's a lot of responsibility to be joking about. That's not funny. I got to turn this off. It's freaking me out. There are five different types of chairs in this hotel room. Holy fuck. What are they all doing in here? These are five different types of chairs. Get them out of here, man. This is too many chairs for one room. There's a guy that works for this hotel. His whole job is to find chairs. Look at this one. Look at it. It's gold and red, and it's kind of shiny. Shiny thread? Unbelievable. It is beautiful and it feels amazing. The tall one's gawking at me and the short one's being very droll.