DEADPOOL 2

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Remember when I let you watch Deadpool 2 ,
and you promised you wouldn't tell Mom?

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Solo: A Star Wars Movie, Deadpool 2 , Ocean's Eight, Jurassic World: Fallen
Kingdom or The Incredibles 2?

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[talking about Deadpool 2 ]

Wade Wilson:

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Deadpool:
[to the audience in the after credits scene]
You're still here? It's over. Go home! Oh, you're expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2 . Well, we don't have that kind of money. What are you expecting, Sam Jackson show up with an eyepatch and a saucy little leather number? Go, go.
Credits:
The making and authorized distribution of th

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Deadpool: I know what you're thinking: "I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home." But that's where you'd be wrong. That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. And believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. True story. And every big family film starts... with a vicious murder. Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.

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you're thinking. "I'm so glad I left
the kiddos at home." But that's where you'd be wrong. That babysitter of yours,
is high as fuck right now. And believe it or not... Deadpool 2 , is a family film. True story. And every good family film
starts with a vicious murder. Bambi, The Lion King, Saw VII. Holy shit-pickles.
That guy's on fire! That's not CGI, folks. He's

Transcript:
Deadpool: You're still here? It's over. Go home! Oh, you're expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2 . Well, we don't have that kind of money. What are you expecting, Sam Jackson show up with an eyepatch and a saucy little leather number? Go, go.Credits:The making and authorized distribution of this

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Deadpool:I live in a crack house. With a family of twelve. Every night we spoon for warmth. Everyone fights for Noelle. She's the fattest. There's nothing that we don't share. Floor space, dental...

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Weasel: And last but not least... Peter.
Deadpool: Any power you wanna tell us about?
Peter: I don't... I don't have one. Um, I just saw the ad.
Deadpool: No superpowers at all?
Peter: Uh, I have both...

Scene Description:
a man in a deadpool costume sits in front of a sign that says'b '.

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Deadpool:
Say fuck for me. Just once. Come on, we'll do it together. It's no big deal. Here we go, 1-2-3. Fu... fu...
Colossus:
Fuck.
Deadpool:
Wow. Enjoy hell, smut mouth. | Say fuck for me Just on...

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Cable:
[referring to the headmaster, who is trying to escape Russell]
He even runs like a fucking pervert.
Wade Wilson:
yeah - an internet predator who lost his laptop. | He even runs like a fucking ...

Scene Description:
a man in a suit with the number 2 on it

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Negasonic Teenage Warhead: We're X-Men.
Deadpool: No, you're X-People.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: You're X-hausting.
Deadpool: I see what you did there. Puns. | Besides we're X Men No you're X People ...

Scene Description:
a woman in a yellow and black outfit with a yellow button that says xtreme.

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Deadpool: We're definitely naming our kid Cher! | We're definitely naming our kid Cher Un seul On le fait ensemble C'est rien À la une à la deux Kaži jebati za mene Samo jednom Hajde Reći ćemo zajedno...

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Do you... What's... | Do you... What's...

Scene Description:
an old phone with the number 2 on it

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You'll get 'em next time, pal. And look,you can always go back to superhero-ing. I mean,I know I'd like to see you back in the suit. I don't keep it in my lockerso that I can wear it. I keep it in my...

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Now, breaking news. A multi-car collision turned shots firedon the crosstown expressway this morning. Gridlock has kept police from the scene. Residents are advised toremain in their homes. The...

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Cassian Andor:
You met K-2?
Jyn Erso:
Charming.
Cassian Andor:
He tends to say whatever comes into his circuits. It's a byproduct of the reprogram. | You met K 2 Charming He tends to say whatever co...

Scene Description:
a person is standing next to a red object.

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Colossus:I've given Deadpool every chance to join us but he'd rather act like a child. A heavily armed child. When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming an X-Man?Negasonic Teenage Warhead:Which...

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I've given Deadpoolevery chance to join us... | I've given Deadpool every chance to join us but he'd rather act like a child A heavily armed child When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X...

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Yeah, it's me, Deadpool, and I got an offerthat you can't refuse. | Yeah it's me Deadpool and I got an offer that you can't refuse I'm gonna wait out here okay It's a big house It's funny that I only...

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A multi-car collisionturned shots fired on the crosstown expresswaythis morning. | A multi car collision turned shots fired on the crosstown expressway this morning Gridlock has kept police from the...

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Gamora:
Drax, why aren't you wearing one of Rocket's Aero-Rigs?
Drax:
It hurts.
Gamora:
Hurts?
Drax:
I have sensitive nipples. | Drax why aren't you wearing one of Rocket's aero rigs It hurts It hu...

Scene Description:
a man is looking at the camera and has his mouth open.

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The assailantappears to be armed, dangerous, and wearing... | The assailant appears to be armed dangerous and wearing a red suit A red suit Deadpool Negasonic Come we have mission Colossus wait up...

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Any luck, Tim? Well, took some doing,
but fortunately, there is only one Atlantic E-Z Mart in Annandale. You said the parking lot,
boss? That's what Palmer said.
Around 3:00 in the morning. Hard to kn...

Scene Description:
a woman is watching a map on a screen in a room.

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(GROANS) Red, green, blue...
Who paints a button blue? Don't tell me the American playboy
needs help pushing buttons. Hedy Lamarr
and I spent a weekend together, but she wasn't teaching me German! | (...

Scene Description:
a picture of a chair in a dark room with a clock on the wall.

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Ripley, from Alien 3! Fuck, you're old. Fake laugh. Hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls. You guys going for a bite?Early bird special? Like there's something wrong witheating before sundown or...

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No, you know that bad guythat you let go? | No you know that bad guy that you let go He's got my girl You're gonna help me get her back Wade Is that you Yeah it's me Deadpool and I got an offer that...

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Okay. Let's pro-conthis superhero thing. | Okay Let's pro con this superhero thing Pro They pull down a gaggle of ass Local dry cleaning discounts Lucrative film deals both origin stories and larger...

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Lucrative film deals,both origin stories and larger ensembleteam movies. | Lucrative film deals both origin stories and larger ensemble team movies Con They're all lame ass teacher's pets You know I...

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[from trailer]

Cable:
I was born into war, bred into it. People think they understand pain, but they have no concept of it. What's the most pain you've ever felt? Maybe the kind that leaves you more ...

Scene Description:
a woman sits on a blue chair with her knees bent.

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Ah! Okay. Everybody ready? Ready! Okay. Foxy, give me a hand. Okay, to the left and up. All right. Big Man! Look! No way! Let her on. | Ah! Okay. Everybody ready? Ready! Okay. Foxy, give me a hand....

Scene Description:
a person is working on a wiring in a vehicle.

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[GRUNTING] OLIVER TOLD ME WHAT WAS
BURIED ON THIS ISLAND. WHEN I GOT HERE, I FOUND THE 4 GRAVES
THAT HE HAD MENTIONED, BUT THEN... THEN I FOUND THIS ONE SO, LOOK,
I CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS
ON MY OWN IF ...

Scene Description:
a black and white photo of a fish with the number 1 on it.

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Dick, Sanjay, report. It's bad, sir. Nothing but dead bodies. Yeah. Heaps of 'em. We found the ship's manifest, sir. We're still two short.
Someone named Grendon, and then Cobblepot himself. Not to go...

Scene Description:
a group of people stand in front of an ice cave.

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[from leaked test footage]

Deadpool:
Crime's the disease, meet the cure. Okay, not the cure, but more like a topical ointment to reduce the swelling and itch. Hi, Tom! | driveby Found out who our fri...

Scene Description:
a man is sitting on a couch in a room full of junk.

Transcript:
Aw, Jesus.
If you're that nervous, maybe robbery's not your thing.
What do you think? Come on fuckface. The Duke...
Oh fuck. He, he said to come to you. He said you could help me. He, he said to trust...

Scene Description:
a man in a suit is standing in front of a blue car.

Transcript:
All right then.
Now that you've slept, you should be able
to think straight. (GASPS) Who were the humans
in those pods? Why the hell
are you here? I'm asking the questions. Orion will never allow
you ...

Scene Description:
a man is standing in front of a dark background with the words " no. 1 " on it.

Transcript:
Hot damn. What the hell was that? You could've died right
there, you know that? Yeah, I do. - Are you hearing me?
- Who gives a shit? You could've died
killing those Saviors, both of you, but you didn...

Scene Description:
a woman sits in front of a car with a can of beer in her hand.

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Auntie Entity:
[the Blaster has reduced Bartertown's power supply]
For God's sake, what now?
The Master:
Who run Bartertown?
Auntie Entity:
Dammit, I told you, no more embargos.
The Master:
More, B...

Scene Description:
a man sits in a dark room and looks at the camera.

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Tony Stark:
How did they find you?
Vision:
I was accessing the mainframe. All of Europe has now been subjugated by the machine forces since my last report. Drones are gathering along the Pacific Rim ...

Scene Description:
a cartoon of a man with a green arm that has the word alien on it.

Transcript:
Paradox. You've been busy. Well, somebody had to be. We had some strange readingsfrom this location. You wouldn't know anything aboutan unsanctioned Time Ripper, would you? Uh, no. No. I wouldn't know...