[Norah Jones is in her dressing room preparing a drink when Ted and John arrive] Ted: Hey, play 'Chopsticks', you jazzy slut! Norah Jones: Teddy! Ted: Hahaha! How are you? Norah Jones: [Hugs Ted] How
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Hey, play 'Chopsticks', you jazzy slut! Teddy! Hahaha! How...

Ted 2012
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[Norah Jones is in her dressing room preparing a drink when Ted and John arrive]

Ted:
Hey, play 'Chopsticks', you jazzy slut!
Norah Jones:
Teddy!
Ted:
Hahaha! How are you?
Norah Jones:
[Hugs Ted]
How are you, you fuzzy asshole?
Ted:
Well, you know I'm not a hot half-Muslim chick who sold over 37 million records, but I'm hanging in there.
Norah Jones:
Well, half-Indian, but... thanks.
Ted:
Hey, whatever. Thanks for 9/11. Hey listen - I want you to meet a good pal of mine, all right? John Bennett, Norah Jones.
John:
[Approaches Norah to shake her hand]
Hi, hi, Norah Jones.
Norah Jones:
Hey. Hey there, sweaty.
[wipes hand on her dress]

Norah Jones:
Um, you ready to bring down the house?
John:
Yes, ma'am. Yeah, thank you for the opportunity. Miss... Ma'am Jones, I... thank you.
Ted:
Jesus, you look fantastic.
Norah Jones:
Well, you're probably not used to seeing me fully clothed.
Ted:
[laughs]
Yeah, I know, right? You mean... me and Norah met in 2002 at a party at Belinda Carlisle's house. And we had awkward fuzzy sex in the coat room.
Norah Jones:
Actually, you weren't so bad for a guy with no penis.
Ted:
Yeah, you know, I've written so many angry letters to Hasbro about that.

Transcript:
Play Chopsticks,
you jazzy slut.
Teddy!
How are you?
How are you doing,
you fuzzy little asshole?
Well, I'm not a hot,
half-Muslim chick
who sold 37 million records,
but I'm hanging in there.
Half-Indian, but thanks.
Yeah, whatever.
Thanks for 9/11.
Listen, I want you to meet a
good pal of mine, all right?
John Bennett, Norah Jones.
Hi, Norah Jones.
Hey, there, sweaty.
You ready to
bring down the house?
Yes, ma'am. Thank you for
the opportunity, Miss...
Ma'am Jones.
Thank you.
Jesus, you look fantastic.
Well, you're probably not used
to seeing me fully clothed.
Yeah, I know, right?
Me and Norah met in 2002 at a
party at Belinda Carlisle's house
and we had awkward
fuzzy sex in the coatroom.
Actually, you weren't so bad
for a guy with no penis.
You know, I have written so many
angry letters to Hasbro about that.
Thank you.
Now, I'm going to
give my chops a rest
and bring a friend up
to the stage.
He's going to sing a
song to a special lady
in the audience
who he loves very much.
Please give a big hand
to John Bennett.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit!
I gotta fuck her again.
Uh...
Hi, my name is John Bennett,
and this is
for Lori Collins.
Because I love you.
This song always reminds me of the
most important night of my life.
The night we met.
This is the theme song
from the movie Octopussy.
All I wanted was a sweet
distraction For an hour or two
Had no intention to do

Clip duration: 113 seconds
Views: 17
Uploaded: 28 January, 2021
Genres: comedy
Summary: John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear, Ted or his girlfriend, Lori.


Actors

Norah Jones - Norah Jones