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David: Hey, Paula. Paula: Yeah? David: I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if
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Hey, Paula. Yeah? I gotta tell you something. I'm really...

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David:
Hey, Paula.
Paula:
Yeah?
David:
I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD that you've been playing for two years straight off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain.
Paula:
David, what do you suggest we play?
David:
I don't care. Anything. I would rather... I would rather watch "Beautician and the Beast". I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothing against him, but if I hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm going to "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.
Paula:
You're such a smartass. Get back on the floor.
[Paula walks away]

David:
[cough-mutters]
Ah-fuck you!

Transcript:
Hey, Paula.
Yeah.
I gotta tell you something.
I'm really excited about it.
For the first time today,
I woke up...
I came to the store,
and I feel confident
to say to you...
that if you don't take
this Michael McDonald DVD...
that you've been playing
for two years straight, off...
I'm going to kill everyone
in the store...
and put a bullet
in my brain.
David, what do you suggest
we play?
I don't care. Anything.
I would rather watch
Beautician and the Beast.
I would rather listen
to Fran Drescher
for eight hours...
than have to listen
to Michael McDonald.
Nothing against him,
but if I hear Yah Mo B There
one more time...
I'm gonna yah mo
burn this place
to the ground.
You're such a smart ass.
Get back on the floor.
[Garbled]
Fuck you.
[Clears throat]
This is a great TV.
Nothing beats a plasma.
What are you doing?
That's my customer.
It certainly is not.
When I came upon her,
she was unattended.
No, that's my...
Wait.
Go to the checkout there.
Pick up there, please.
She was unattended
because I went to the back...
to get the brochure
that she requested.
I apologize,
but it's too late.
The transaction
has been completed.
Then you're gonna give me
half the commission.
You'll receive
none of the commission.
I need to talk to Paula.
This is crazy.
This is bullshit.
Every time I make a sale,
you go crying to Paula.
How about Jesse Jackson?
Old Jesse needs a cause.
Sick of you poaching
my customers.
I'm sick of your
crybaby bullshit.
You wanna take this
shit outside? Just take it
outside and squash it?
Let's stay inside,
so everybody can see
what a pussy you have, okay?
Because when I remove
the blade I keep in my boot
from its sheath...
I can't return it
until it has spilled blood.
Look, listen to me.
You are fucking
with the wrong nigger.
Hey! You're fucking with
the wrong sun-nigger, okay?
Dude, I will hang your old ass
by your turban.
Turban now? Do you see
any fucking turban here?
Do I talk like a turban guy?
Do I say, "Hey, Jay,
do you want a Slurpee?
You want a Slurpee?"
Fuck you, okay?
I was born in Brooklyn.
Brooklyn, okay?
My accent is a fucking
Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?
All right, man.
Calm down, dude.
Look, you still covering
my shift on Friday or what?
If I can keep this commission,
with pleasure.
Cool, then. All right, pop.
No problem.
How about Andy?
No.
Come on, man.
We need, what,
five guys...
to play a decent
poker game, right?
Yeah.

Clip duration: 138 seconds
Views: 85
Timestamp in movie: 00:05:24
Uploaded: 16 September, 2021
Genres: comedy, romance
Summary: Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.


Actors

David - Paul Rudd
Paula - Jane Lynch