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Mooj: [talking to a customer] This is a great TV. Nothing beats a plasma. Jay: What are you doing? That's my customer. Mooj: It certainly is not. When I came upon her, she was unattended Jay: No, no,
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This is a great TV. Nothing beats a plasma. What are you...

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Mooj:
[talking to a customer]
This is a great TV. Nothing beats a plasma.
Jay:
What are you doing? That's my customer.
Mooj:
It certainly is not. When I came upon her, she was unattended
Jay:
No, no, that's my... She was unattended because I went to the back to get the brochure she requested.
Mooj:
I apologize, but it's too late. The transaction is completed.
Jay:
Then you gonna give me half the commission.
Mooj:
You will receive none of the commission.
Jay:
I need to talk to Paula. This is crazy, man!
Mooj:
This is bullshit! Every time I make a sale, you go crying to Paula. How about... how about Jesse Jackson? Oh, Jesse, he needs a call...
Jay:
I'm sick of you poaching my customers.
Mooj:
I'm sick of your crybaby bullshit!
Jay:
You wanna take this shit outside? You wanna just take it outside and just squash it?
Mooj:
Let's stay inside so everybody can see what a pussy you have, okay? Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I cannot return it until it has spilt blood.
Jay:
Listen to me, listen to me! You are fucking with the wrong nigger.
Mooj:
Hey, hey! You are fucking with the wrong sand nigger, okay?
Jay:
I will hang your old ass by your turban!
Mooj:
[Mooj has a very definite Indian accent]
Oh, turban, now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say, "Hey, Jay, you want a slurpee? You want a slurpee?" Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?
Jay:
All right, man. Calm down, dude! Look... you still covering my shift on Friday or what?
Mooj:
If I can keep this commission... with pleasure.
Jay:
Cool, man. All right, pops.
[They hug; Jay leaves]

Transcript:
[Screaming]
What are you doing?
Okay, just...
We're almost there.
[Grunts]
We have one.
Houston, we have one.
You'll pull my
fucking hair out!
We did it.
God!
Oh, my God,
you came in your pants.
What did you do?
I had some Cream of Wheat.
You know what else is sexy?
What?
Me...
Yeah?
...sucking...
on your...
toe.
That's what you want to
suck on?
Yeah.
It's just so big and thick.
Okay.
Yeah.
[Laughing]
That tickles.
[Screams]
I'm sorry. Oh, no.
Your nose is bleeding.
You think?
I'm sorry.
I'm hot.
But, now,
you can't have any of this.
You should just
give up forever!
[Exclaiming]
##[Ain't No Mountain
High Enough playing]
Cal, what do you think?
Is this too yellow?
No.
What's Curious George like
in real life?
Come on, man.
##[J.O.D.D. playing]
Wow, this is
pretty crowded.
Yeah. Well,
it's $9 beer night.
Okay, look now.
So, this is
what's about to happen,
all right?
You about to go run down
some drunk chicks, all right?
And don't confuse
that with tipsy.
We talking about drunk.
I want vomit in the hair,
bruised-up knees.
A broken heel is a plus.
That's what you
want to find, okay?
No, Dave already told me
I didn't have to have sex
tonight.
And now he's gone, so...
Dude, just stop thinking
for a minute, all right?
You ain't got to think
on this one.
All you got to do
is use your instinct.
Show me your instincts.
My head, my heart.
I follow my heart.
Now, I'm gonna show you this
one time, all right?
Instincts.
Show me your instincts.
Show me your instincts.
They're right here.
Own your instincts.
All you doing
is using your instinct.
That's it.
That's how a tiger know
he got to tackle a gazelle.
There's a code
written in his DNA.
It says,
"Tackle the gazelle. "
Okay.
And believe it or not,
in every man, there's
a code written that says:
"Tackle drunk bitches. "
No.
You know what,
I don't feel comfortable...
hitting on drunk "bitches,"
you know.
I don't think that's right.
Okay, hold up.
First of all,
you making it out to be
some kind of bad thing.
I didn't use bitches
in a derogatory sense.
You did.
It just does...
This doesn't feel right.
Of course it don't feel right.
What has felt right for you
didn't work.
You need to try
some wrong, dawg.
Okay, how do I tell
which ones are drunk?
Now you're talking.
All right, check this out.
You see this redhead
over here?
Where?
With the big old titties.
I'm not gonna
stare at a woman.
Dawg, I'm not telling you
to stare at nobody.
I'm telling you to use
your peripherals.
Now look at me.
See. Look. See?
Yeah.
I'm not looking at you.
No. I'm looking at...
You're looking at her?
What do you want me to do?
I want you to use
your peripherals.
See? I'm not looking at you.
No. See, I'm looking
at the redhead at 3:00
with the big titties.
You see her, racked up
right there, see her?
Yes.
Yeah.
You find one with
the peripherals.
Okay.
You see, over by the post.
It looks like a...
It's either a ficus...
It might be
a rubber tree plant.
All right, if you're
making a joke, dawg,
it's not funny.
I see a blonde
and she's very pretty.
Better, okay. All right.
Now with your peripherals...
Yeah.
...you got to scope out
a hot, drunk chick.
And then you should
make your move.

Clip duration: 242 seconds
Views: 59
Timestamp in movie: 00:21:54
Uploaded: 16 September, 2021
Genres: comedy, romance
Summary: Goaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.


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