You say, when you left the apartment this morning, your mother was all right. That's...

Policeman in Apartment: You say, when you left the apartment this morning, your mother was all right. Gordon Hocheiser: That's right, Officer. She was fine. Policeman in Apartment: She was gone when you got back? Gordon Hocheiser: That's right. Disappeared. Policeman in Apartment: People just don't disappear. What do you suppose happened to her? Gordon Hocheiser: I think the dog ate her. Policeman in Apartment: Don't give me any of that bullshit. Gordon Hocheiser: No, I'm serious. When I got home today, I found the dog in the kitchen, there was a red dress hanging out the corner of his mouth. Policeman in Apartment: And what does that prove? Gordon Hocheiser: My mother was wearing that dress when I left this morning. Policeman in Apartment: Is that the alleged dog? Gordon Hocheiser: Yep. It's just the way I found him. [camera pans to a dog sitting there with part of a red dress hanging out of his mouth] Policeman in Apartment: How the hell can a dog eat an old lady? Gordon Hocheiser: You see, Officer, she'd been shrinking a lot lately, and she really wasn't much bigger than a rabbit. Just about one good bite for the dog. Policeman in Apartment: Okay. I'll have to take him downtown and book him. Gordon Hocheiser: Whatever you say, Officer. Policeman in Apartment: [the officer now addresses the dog] You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer any questions. Do you understand? [he proceeds to put handcuffs on the dog]