Transcript:
[the press is interviewing Shooter McGavin]
Shooter McGavin:
I tell you, the real winner today is the city of Portland. Every time I come here it gets hard to leave. I bet you put something to the wa...
Transcript:
Chubbs:
Spoken like a true asshole. | You like being the favorite
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Virginia:
[Happy has just been hit by a car]
Happy! Happy are you okay?
Happy Gilmore:
[groaning]
Volkswagen!
Donald:
[out of the window, driving the car]
Jackass! | Happy look out Are you okay Volk...
Scene Description:
a woman with short blonde hair is looking at the camera with a man behind her.
Transcript:
Bob Barker:
[about Happy]
This guy sucks! | This guy sucks
Transcript:
Happy Gilmore:
[to Chubbs]
You know that alligator that got your hand? Well I got his HEAD! | Remember the 'gator that got your hand I got his head
Transcript:
[first lines]
[opening narration voice over]
Happy Gilmore:
My name is Happy Gilmore. Ever since I was old enough to skate, I loved hockey. I wasn't really the greatest skater though. But that didn'...
Transcript:
Donald:
Good shooting soldier! | Nice shooting soldier
Transcript:
[a TV is broadcasting Happy's tirade on the golf course]
Happy Gilmore:
Piece of monkey shit! | Nice to meet you
Transcript:
Announcer:
Happy Gilmore is in big trouble, Jack. He's lost the power to hit the long ball. | Happy Gilmore is in trouble if he can't hit the long ball
Scene Description:
a man in an orange jacket is standing in front of a group of people.
Transcript:
IRS Agent:
[to Happy]
Mrs. Gilmore owes the IRS two hundred and seventy thousand dollars in back taxes. We have to take the house. And if you can't get the money together in ninety days, we're gonna h...
Transcript:
[Happy walks into Doug Thompson's office]
Doug Thompson:
There you are.
Shooter McGavin:
Hey! Happy Gilmore, come on down!
Doug Thompson:
Thank you, Shooter. Sit down, Mr. Gilmore. So you had a fig...
Scene Description:
a man in a suit stands in front of a woman in a suit.
Transcript:
Donald:
[intentionally antagonizing Happy]
Hey Gilmore, you suck ya jackass.
Happy Gilmore:
Why don't you shut the hell up. | Hey Gilmore You suck you jackass Shut the hell up
Scene Description:
a hockey player wearing a jersey with the letter b on it
Transcript:
[first lines]
Rita Lewis:
Hey.
Artie Lewis:
Hey. | Hey Hi Rita
Transcript:
[last lines]
[speaking on the phone]
Artie Lewis:
Hello, Rit? We're alive. We're alive, partner. | Hello Rit We're alive We're alive partner
Scene Description:
a man sitting at a table with a pen in his hand.
Transcript:
Rita Lewis:
I can't imagine feeling any more for a kid of my own than I do for these little girls. | Can I come in Hey you okay Hey you okay in there No I'm sick Leave me alone I'll come in and hold y...
Scene Description:
a person with long brown hair is in a doorway.
Transcript:
Kit Moresby:
I hate choices. | Never mind the cost
Transcript:
Grand High Witch:
[laughing]
Kill him! | Kill him
Transcript:
[last lines]
Luke:
Don't forget Bruno! | Don't eat the cheese Bruno
Transcript:
Stone:
Yeah, I like the old Gravediggers. I'd be glad to see them any time.
[the Gravediggers burst into Stone's apartment and beat him to a pulp] | I like the old Grave Diggers I'd be glad to see 'e...
Transcript:
[Walking into a bar]
Stone:
D'ya sell beer here? | Do you sell beer here
Scene Description:
a man in a blue shirt is talking to another man in a black shirt.
Transcript:
[at the funeral of Go Down]
Undertaker:
OK, Go Down, you got it; but believe me, whoever got you is goin' ta get got too; and that's a promise. | Okay Go down you got it But believe me whoever got yo...
Transcript:
Undertaker:
We'll do what we fuckin like. We're not going to hang round getting knocked off one by one while you smartarse bastards do your investigation routine. | We'll do what we fucking like We're...
Transcript:
Liza Minnelli:
Thank God for film. It can capture a performance and hold it right there forever. And if anyone says to you, "Who was he?" or, "Who was she?" or, "What made them so good?" I think a pie...
Transcript:
[first lines]
Frank Sinatra:
[narrating]
The year is 1929; the singer, Cliff Edwards, also known as Ukelele Ike. The film: "Hollywood Revue"; it is the first all-talking, all-singing, all-dancing mov...
Scene Description:
a woman in a white dress dances on a stage.
Transcript:
[at the end of the Esther Williams segment]
Donald O'Connor:
Eat your heart out, Mark Spitz! | Eat your heart out Mark Spitz
Scene Description:
a woman in a mermaid costume is swimming in a pool with lights around her.
Transcript:
Gene Kelly:
When you dance with Fred Astaire, you really have to be on your toes. This number from "Ziegfield Follies" was the only time we had a chance to work together. But, I'd change my name to Gi...
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Debbie Reynolds:
When I first reported to the studio, MGM was celebrating its 25th anniversary. They had converted the biggest sound stage on the lot into a restaurant. They only served one meal but i...
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Fred Astaire:
Kelly was forever breaking rules. Though the studio often tried to stop him, Gene insisted on doing his own stunts. His bosses always seemed to find out about it after the scene had been...
Transcript:
Liza Minnelli:
Mama once told me MGM seemed obsessed with Shirley Temple. They even offered 20th Century Fox, Jean Harlow and Clark Gable just to get Temple for a certain picture Metro was preparing. ...
Transcript:
Bing Crosby:
The next time anyone says that dancing is for sissies, remind them of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers". | The next time anyone says that dancing is for sissies remind them of Seven Bride...
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Frank Sinatra:
Musicals were fantasy trips for the audiences of their day. For instance, boy meets girl; boy loses girl; boy sings a song and gets girl. The plots were that simple. | the musicals were...
Transcript:
Frank Sinatra:
Its been quite some time since I first came to this place and MGM is certainly not the same studio and Hollywood's not the same town. But, the films we made here are still around. | Whe...
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Frank Sinatra:
Some studios can claim they made the finest gangster films or the greatest horror movies, but when it came to musicals - MGM - they were the champions. | Right right rightfully they say...
Transcript:
Frank Sinatra:
You know, you can wait around and hope, but, I'll tell ya, you'll never see the likes of this again. | You know you can wait around and hope but I'll tell you you'll never see the likes...
Transcript:
Elizabeth Taylor:
I was 10 years old when I first came to MGM - and I spent most of the next 18 years of my life behind the walls of that studio. As a young girl growing up, in that strange place, its...
Scene Description:
a group of women in white dresses stand on a stage in front of a red curtain.
Transcript:
Elizabeth Taylor:
What wonderful years those were at MGM. One day, I remember meeting a terribly handsome young man from England. He just started working at the studio. Naturally, I fell wildly in lov...
Transcript:
Peter Lawford:
The films we made here had a certain style. A look that was unmistakable. Whether it was the directing or the writing or the scenery, the costumes, the lighting, I don't really know. Bu...
Transcript:
Jimmy Stewart:
I was lucky enough to sing a Cole Porter song in "Born to Dance" with Eleanor Powell. At first the studio planned to have someone else record the vocal. But, the tune became such a big ...
Transcript:
Mickey Rooney:
[Referring to Judy Garland]
Judy and I became close friends when we did a series of films together that the studio called "backyard musicals." Audiences seemed to love the pictures, eve...
Transcript:
Gene Kelly:
[Referring to Fred Astaire]
Because of his ingenuity and precision, audiences never realized how much incredible effort Fred poured into his work. He made it appear so easy. In "Royal Wedd...
Scene Description:
a man in a blue striped shirt is rolling a large wooden object.
Transcript:
Gene Kelly:
Fred Astaire was and is a unique talent. There'll never be another like him and - that's what I love about our profession. Cause every so often there's an artist comes along who is impossi...
Scene Description:
a man and a woman sit on a couch in front of a window.
Transcript:
Debbie Reynolds:
The first time I met the King, Clark Gable, he looked down at me and said, "Hello, beautiful" and I nearly fainted. This place was the land of giants and I was a small fry, but, like ...
Transcript:
Fred Astaire:
[Referring to Gene Kelly]
He was determined to broaden the horizons of the film musical and in doing so he become one of the most versatile and original performers the movies have ever k...
Transcript:
Frank Sinatra:
The musicals of the 1930s and '40s or even the '50s may not have told you where our heads were at, but they certainly would tell you where our hearts were at. | She captures you right f...
Transcript:
Peter Lawford:
The studio pretty much told us - what pictures we were going appear in. They put us in dramas, comedies and, in my case, and don't ask me why, an occasional musical. As a singer or danc...
Scene Description:
a man swings a swing in front of a balcony with people in the background.
Transcript:
Jimmy Stewart:
In the late 1920s and early 30s, these 200 acres of real estate were a scene of panic. Pandemonium. Sound pictures had replaced silent films virtually over night. The only actor in town...
Transcript:
Jimmy Stewart:
Musicals were the most popular commodity in the early 30s and they were cranked out at an incredible rate. Most of them really weren't very good. But, if audiences suffered, they didn't...
Transcript:
Debbie Reynolds:
I remember something else I learned at the studio during my stay there. MGM's motto: Do it big. Do it right. And give it class. | I remember something else I learned at the studio dur...
Transcript:
Fred Astaire:
I have a great many fond memories about this place. So many happy moments here worrying about whether or not we were getting the job done. What fun. | I have a great many fond memories a...
Transcript:
Tommy Gibbs:
You can sleep until noon, if you want anything, just press a button.
Mama Gibbs:
Me? Live in this apartment? Why they'd hang me right off that terrace, Jew folks ain't even allowed here....
Transcript:
Helen:
I've worked all night. This place has been crowded all night and I've had it! I've had it up to here.
Tommy Gibbs:
Yeah, right.
Helen:
They're pinching my ass.
Tommy Gibbs:
I understand.
He...
Transcript:
McKinney:
Right now you're high as a junkie with a hundred dollar habit. But, everybody crashes, limpy. | Right now you're high as a junkie with a hundred dollar habit But everybody crashes limpy
Transcript:
Virginia Coleman:
Sleep well, Mr. Gibbs. I hope you like the mattress. It's very hard. | Sleep well Mr Gibbs I hope you like the mattress It's very hard
Transcript:
Momma Gibbs:
You been taken dope? I knew it. I knew you were going to end up a dope fiend!
Tommy Gibbs:
Yeah, yeah. I'm on a high, Momma. | You've been takin' dope I knew it I knew you were gonna end...
Transcript:
Virginia Coleman:
I want my clothes back! | I want my clothes back
Transcript:
McKinney:
Do you know that niggers are allowed in this building? | And I promise you this that things will be quiet in the ghetto
Scene Description:
a man in a suit and tie stands next to a man in a red shirt.
Transcript:
McKinney:
You're a cooked nigger. I could just as well put a bullet through you for carrying a switchblade. Now, do you want to be put away for a couple of years? Or, are you gonna give me that 50 buc...
Transcript:
Cardoza:
You can do this to me? You can take everything away from me and give me this? Huh? A present - you black bastard!
Tommy Gibbs:
You still get your cut every week. Of course, being Italian is ...
Transcript:
Tommy Gibbs:
Now, lets take a look at Harlem. You tell me - who's gonna control these people? Those goddamn Puerto Ricans and those niggers. They too stupid to be afraid. They'll stick a shear in anyb...
Transcript:
Dr. Benjamin Franklin:
Please Mr. Dickinson, but must you start banging? How is a man to sleep?
[laughter from Congress]
John Dickinson:
Forgive me, Dr. Franklin, but must YOU start speaking? How is...
Transcript:
Sammy Navon: I love you man. You're a lucky guy, but when the luck runs out, then you gotta have a plan and you never have one. So I'm out. | I love you man You're a lucky guy But when the luck runs...
Transcript:
Harold Soyinka:
[Referring to Peter and Judas from the Bible]
One was a man who had a crisis of faith and the other was a man who sold his soul for personal gain. So, you have to decide which one you ...
Transcript:
Harold Soyinka: What kind of a man does not believe in God? | What kind of person does not believe in God
Transcript:
Frank:
Let's kill us some Mother Truckin' House Shark! | Let's kill us some mothertruckin' house shark
Transcript:
Frank:
Good night my Sauerkraut Prince. | Goodnight my sauerkraut prince
Transcript:
Zachary:
I saw it in a Godzilla movie once. The theory is sound. | I saw it in a Godzilla movie once The theory is sound
Transcript:
Abraham:
House Shark! Look at me. I'm kissing your girl friend. | House shark Look at me I'm kissing your girlfriend mimics kissing
Scene Description:
a man is under a table with a large shark head.
Transcript:
Frank:
Smile you son of a biscuit! | Smile you son of a biscuit
Transcript:
Frank:
I thought they didn't have any kids!
Kid:
They don't. They were going to adopt me. I heard there was a shark attack in this house and you did nothing Frank. Nothing! And now, it's back to the ...