Transcript:
Narrator:
[12:56]
When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake. | When you have insomnia you're never really asleep And you're never really awake

Transcript:
Narrator:
You're making a big mistake, fellas!
Police Officer:
You said you would say that.
Narrator:
I'm not Tyler Durden!
Police Officer:
You told us you'd say that, too.
Narrator:
All right the...

Transcript:
Narrator:
When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...
Marla Singer:
- instead of just waiting for their turn to speak? | When people think you're dying they ...

Transcript:
Narrator:
If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? | If you wake up at a different time in a different place could you wake up as a different p...

Transcript:
Narrator:
[20:22]
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. | On a long enough time line the survival rate for everyone drops to zero

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
Do you know what a duvet is?
Narrator:
It's a comforter...
Tyler Durden:
It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our ...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need. | We're a generation of men raised by women I'm wondering if another woman is real...

Transcript:
Narrator:
Marla's philosophy of life is that she might die at any moment. The tragedy, she said, was that she didn't. | Marla's philosophy of life was that she might die at any moment The tragedy she ...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility! | You created me I didn't create some loser alter ego to make me feel bett...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
WHOA! WHOA! OK, you are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend NEAR 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERIN! | You are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
[29:10]
It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.
Narrator:
There's always that. | You know it could be worse...

Transcript:
Richard Chesler:
[1:04:51]
The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club?
Narrator:
[Voice-over]
I'm half asleep again; I must've left the original in the copy machine.
Richard Che...

Transcript:
Narrator:
Oh, it's late. Hey, thanks for the beer.
Tyler Durden:
Yeah, man.
Narrator:
I should find a hotel.
Tyler Durden:
[in disbelief]
What?
Narrator:
What?
Tyler Durden:
A hotel?
Narrator:
Y...

Transcript:
Narrator:
[1:52:23]
Tyler, what the fuck is going on here?
Tyler Durden:
I ask you for one thing, one simple thing.
Narrator:
Why do people think that I'm you? Answer me!
Tyler Durden:
Sit.
Narrat...

Transcript:
Narrator:
I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more. | I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid Then I ran some more

Transcript:
[after vigorous sex with Tyler Durden]

Marla Singer:
[52:52]
My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school. | My God I haven't been fucked like that since grade school

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
[1:23:50]
Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted. | Tomorrow will be the most beaut...

Transcript:
Narrator:
Marla... the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't. | The scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if you could ...

Transcript:
Marla Singer:
I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar.
Narrator:
It was worth every penny.
Marla Singer:
It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed ...

Transcript:
Narrator:
[1:54:59]
It's called a changeover. The movie goes on, and nobody in the audience has any idea. | It's called a changeover The movie goes on and nobody in the audience has any idea

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
[1:36:52]
Where'd you go, psycho boy?
Narrator:
I felt like destroying something beautiful. | Where did you go psycho boy I felt like destroying something beautiful

Transcript:
[while burning the Narrator's hand with lye]

Tyler Durden:
[1:03:07]
Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?
Narrator:
No, no, I... do...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may. | So fuck ...

Transcript:
Marla Singer:
...Condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night... then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.
Narrator...

Transcript:
Narrator:
With insomnia, nothing's real. Everything's far away. Everything's a copy of a copy of a copy. | With insomnia nothing's real Everything's far away Everything's a copy of a copy of a copy

Transcript:
Narrator:
If I didn't say anything, people always assumed the worst. | If I didn't say anything people always assumed the worst

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
My dad never went to college, so it was real important that I go.
Narrator:
Sounds familiar.
Tyler Durden:
So I graduate, I call him up long distance, I say "Dad, now what?" He says, "...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
[to the police chief]
Hi. You're going to call off your rigorous investigation. You're going to publicly state that there is no underground group. Or... these guys are going to take your...

Transcript:
Narrator:
[19:14]
You wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute ...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh. | You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh

Transcript:
Marla Singer:
You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me. | You're the worst thing that ever happened to me

Transcript:
Narrator:
Tyler, I'm grateful to you; for everything that you've done for me. But this is too much. I don't want this.
Tyler Durden:
What do you want? Wanna go back to the shit job, fuckin' condo wor...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
[1:09:50]
I look around, I look around, I see a lot of new faces.
[crowd laughing]

Tyler Durden:
Shut up. Which means a lot of you have been breaking the first two rules of Fight Club....

Transcript:
Narrator:
[24:45]
Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer:
Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator:
Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer:
Baggage ...

Transcript:
Narrator:
When the fight was over, nothing was solved, but nothing mattered. We all felt saved. | When the fight was over nothing was solved But nothing mattered Cool Afterwards we all felt saved

Transcript:
Narrator:
You had to give it to him: he had a plan. And it started to make sense, in a Tyler sort of way. No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide. | You had...

Transcript:
Narrator:
We have just lost cabin pressure. | We just lost cabin pressure

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
We are all part of the same compost heap. | We are all part of the same compost heap

Transcript:
Narrator:
You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick. | You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick

Transcript:
Narrator:
You're insane.
Tyler Durden:
No, you're insane. | You're a brave man to order this

Transcript:
Narrator:
Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one big reel. It comes on a few. So som...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channel...

Transcript:
Narrator:
I had it all. Even the glass dishes with tiny bubbles and imperfections, proof they were crafted by the honest, simple, hard-working indigenous peoples of... wherever. | I had it all Even th...

Transcript:
Narrator:
[looking at a Calvin Klein ad on a bus]
Is that what a man looks like?
Tyler Durden:
[laughs]
Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction... | Is that what a man looks like Oh se...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
The salt balance has to be just right, so the best fat for making soap comes from humans.
Narrator:
Wait. What is this place?
Tyler Durden:
A liposuction clinic. | The salt balance has...

Transcript:
Narrator:
[1:57:42]
Clean food, please.
Waiter:
In that case, sir, may I advise against the lady eating clam chowder?
Narrator:
No clam chowder, thank you. | Clean food please In that case may I adv...

Transcript:
Marla Singer:
There are things about you that I like. You're smart, you're funny, you're... spectacular in bed... But you're intolerable! You have very serious emotional problems. Deep seated problems...

Transcript:
Ricky:
I can't believe he's still standing.
Thomas:
One tough motherfucker. | I can't believe he's standing One tough motherfucker

Transcript:
Narrator:
Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip. | Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip

Transcript:
Narrator:
Tyler's not here. Tyler went away. Tyler's gone. | Tyler isn't here Tyler went away Tyler's gone

Transcript:
Narrator:
Oh, yeah, Chloe... Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everybody.
Chloe:
Well, I'm still here. But I d...

Transcript:
[about Tyler splicing frames of pornography into family films]

Narrator:
So when the snooty cat, and the courageous dog, with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when y...

Transcript:
Narrator:
Hello?
Tyler Durden:
[Eating breakfast cereal]
Who is this?
Narrator:
Tyler?
Tyler Durden:
Who is this?
Narrator:
Uh... we met... we met on the airplane. We had the same suitcase. Uh... ...

Transcript:
[the narrator pulls a loose tooth out of his mouth]

Narrator:
Fuck.
Tyler Durden:
Hey, even the Mona Lisa's falling apart. | Hey even the Mona Lisa's falling apart

Transcript:
Narrator:
How embarrassing... a house full of condiments and no food. | How embarrassing A houseful of condiments and no food

Transcript:
Narrator:
What do you do?
Tyler Durden:
What do you mean?
Narrator:
What do you do for a living?
Tyler Durden:
Why? So you can pretend like you're interested? | What do you do What do you mean What...

Transcript:
Narrator:
Tyler was now involved in a class action lawsuit against the Pressman Hotel over the urine content of their soup. | Tyler was now involved in a class action lawsuit with the Pressman Hotel o...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
You're too old, fat man. Your tits are too big.
[Tyler walks away, throwing his cigarette]

Tyler Durden:
Get the fuck off my porch. | You're too old fat man Your tits are too big Get t...

Transcript:
Narrator:
What are we doing tonight?
Tyler Durden:
Tonight? We make soap.
Narrator:
Really.
Tyler Durden:
To make soap, first we render fat. | What are we doing tonight Tonight we make soap Really ...

Transcript:
Lou:
I'm fucking Lou. Who the fuck are you? | I'm fucking Lou Who the fuck are you

Transcript:
Marla Singer:
I've got a stomachful of Xanax. I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much. | Me too I've got a stomach full of Xanax I took what was left of a bottle It might have be...

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
[his last words]
What's that smell? | What's that smell

Transcript:
Narrator:
It's just, when you buy furniture, you tell yourself, that's it. That's the last sofa I'm gonna need. Whatever else happens, I've got that sofa problem handled. | When you buy furniture you ...

Transcript:
Narrator:
I got in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I'm comfortable with that. I am enlightened. | I got right in everyone's hostile face Yes these are bruise...

Transcript:
Narrator:
He was full of pep. Must've had his grande-latte enema. | He was full of pep Must have had his grande latte enema

Transcript:
Tyler Durden:
Something on your mind, dear? | Something on your mind dear No

Transcript:
Narrator:
[44:38]
If you could fight any celebrity, who would you fight?
Tyler Durden:
Alive or dead?
Narrator:
Doesn't matter. Who'd be tough?
Tyler Durden:
Hemingway. You?
Narrator:
Shatner. I'd...

Transcript:
Narrator:
I wasn't really dying. I wasn't host to cancer or parasites. I was the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around. | I wasn't really dying I wasn't host to cancer or paras...

Transcript:
Inspector Bird:
[20:29]
Here's where the infant's head went through the wind-shield. Three points.
Narrator:
A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 miles per hour. The rear di...